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ExpatSingapore Message Board 23 May 2012, 16:23:28 pm *
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Author Topic: WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN  (Read 998 times)
Gods Secretary
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« on: 21 May 2003, 15:36:00 pm »
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 WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

   To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

   Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
   After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

   "Don't what?" Adam replied.

   "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

   "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

   "No Way!"

   "Yes, way!"

   "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

   "Why"

   "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

   "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

   "Uh huh," Adam replied.


   "Then why did you?"said the Father.

   "I don't know," said Eve.

   "She started it!" Adam said

   "Did not!"

   "Did too!"

   "DID NOT!"

   Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

   BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

   If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

   THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

   1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

   2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

   3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

   4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

   5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

   6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


   ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.


   AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

   "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

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ExpatSingapore Message Board
« on: 21 May 2003, 15:36:00 pm »
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cactus
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« Reply #1 on: 24 May 2003, 11:52:00 am »
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I thought God created children to reassure heterosexuals that their stupidity will be passed on to the next generation of middle class chumps.
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sundaymorningstaple
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« Reply #2 on: 24 May 2003, 13:16:00 pm »
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Actually, children are here only for the sole purpose of paying parents back for when they were children!  

SMS

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Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
some1
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« Reply #3 on: 24 May 2003, 17:22:00 pm »
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so that we could irritate our parents and be a niusence to our friends.
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Badgurl
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« Reply #4 on: 24 May 2003, 17:36:00 pm »
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wot, nursing home?! gee... now i totally understand why Mrs H ate Mr H and the children  
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cactus
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« Reply #5 on: 26 May 2003, 9:02:00 am »
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bad gurl,
i asked your tail why it wanted to have a baby tail but it was too busy hoovering down beers behind your back

i will yet learn the role of children in tail culture and the tail way of life

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Badgurl
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« Reply #6 on: 26 May 2003, 12:12:00 pm »
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cactus, the role of children in tail culture.. hmm.. probably to remind the parent that one night of pleasure is in fact equivalent to nine months of sheer exhaustion and a lifetime of angst and anguish.
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