18month old won't go to bed!

[Halle]

Hi, I am having a really bad time with my 18 month old . She refuses to go to bed at night , sometimes she gets so worked up she vomits. I am wondering what kind of sleep pattern anyone else has for there chid of this age? Our baby wakes at 9.00 am sometimes naps for 1 hours or so  during the day if I am lucky ..and I try to put her to bed at 8.00 pm which takes over an hour to do and with two bottles of 250ml of fresh milk ..Please give me some advice she is driving me loco !! So  what is a normal sleep shedule for a baby of this age?

[Routine]

Perhaps some sort of bedtime routine will help? e.g. bedtime stories, music, dim lights, etc?

It happened to me also and my toddler preferred to sleep later as she grew older and needed less sleep.

Try more outdoor activities during the day to tire her out. My daughter usually knocks out earlier after swimming.

All the best to you!

[How About?]

fresh milk ... when did you introduce fresh milk to your child?  Is she lactose intolerant and hence has a tummyache of some sort, thus vomitting too?

[Blossom]

I had the same problem too with my daughter refusing to go to bed. She can work herself up in less than a minute and vomit everything up. This was so frequent that I felt it wasn't worth fighting as she would vomit her whole dinner up as well. I persisted in trying to do all the routine stuff but it didn't work for her. I know it is not ideal but for my sanity I now wait till she fall asleep before I carry her to bed and she usually sleeps through the night. She is now 3yrs old. She still occasionally vomits when she gets worked up.

I have a 17mth boy and he is the complete opposite. I put him to bed between 7.30 and 8pm usually and he gets himself to sleep and sleeps through 12hrs. He also sleeps from 1.5 to 3hrs during the day.

In the end all children are different. You just need to do whatever keeps your sanity and works best for both of you. Good luck

[Halle]

Thanks for all your comments so far ..but I really need to know what time does a child of this age get up in the morning? Oh and yes I doo have a bedtime routine consisting of teethbrushing and stories etc...
Maybe she should be getting up ast 7.00am or so?

[kiwis here]

my 18month old (and many of her friends) gets up between 5.30am and 6.15am. Goes to bed about 7.15 (still wakes up early whatever times she goes down)

Would seriously reconsider the milk by the way.

[dilly]

It could well be partly because she's just not tired.  If she gets up at 9.00am, she is unlikely to be ready to go to bed by 8.00pm - few children sleep for 13 hours a night.  At 18 months 11 -12 hours at night is more usual, with a nap of 1 -3 hours during the day.  You might want to try shifting her routine ealier - wake her at 8.30 for a few days, then 8.00 and so on until you reach your preferred waking time.  If she wakes around 7.00, she'll probably be ready for bed by 7.00- 8.00pm.  You will also need to shift the timing of the daytime naps. Hope this helps.

[Thoughts]

hmmm, interesting with the vomiting.  Maybe you could ditch the milk altogether at night and just give it during the day instead and give her fresh, cool water at night.  If it's a tummy upset, water should be OK for her.

she might just be a late to bed, late to rise baby.  perhaps you could try putting her to bed a bit later, or trying to encourage her to sleep earlier in the day and see if that helps.  I'm assuming you've got all the usual baby stuff like night light, musical things around the cot for her to help her settle.

[jdd]

Had the same problem with my son. When I put him down he would scream and then vomit. I had previously followed method of controlled crying (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber) with him but after a trip back to the UK he became very unsettled. As this method had worked before I was determined that it would work again. So my husband & I prepared ourselves for a tough week and the perseverence was worth it. The routine was as follows:
Put child to bed, he would scream and vomit so I'd go in change the sheets, mop the floor while my husband quickly showered him and then put him back down. We'd then go out of the room he'd vomit again so we would go through our routine again. Sometimes he'd vomit up to 3 times. He soon came to realise that being sick wasn't worth the effort and within a week he was sleeping through the night and going down no problem. Sounds cruel but it works - perhaps you should read Dr. Ferbers book then I wouldn't sound so harsh.

[This message has been edited by jdd (edited 16-10-2003).]

[Halle]

Hi again..
I am just posting to give an update on my crisis -mainly to see what other Moms think . I brought me liitle on to her paedtrician and he said that she might have a 'tummy bug ' hence all the vomiting, I asked about the milk and lactose intolerence but he dismissed that as a cause. Now under his instuction I am to only give her cooled boiled water to drink ? Only small portions of plain foods and to see how she gets on for the next 48 hours. It is now 24 hours later , she woke up again in the night, nearly vomited but didn't, but she is very distressed ,as I only offered water to drink - what should I do ? Get a second opinion ?

[dilly]

Some children do vomit when they cry a lot and it sounded to me from your original post that this was the problem - does your daughter vomit at other times after drinking milk or is it just when she has got very worked up?  My elder son has a weak gag reflex and vomits easily - as a baby when crying, often when coughing or with a cold and still at 5 after running around.  What he eats or drinks doesn't affect it - it's not an allergy, just a physical reaction to lots of mucus and/or sobbing. Just a thought.

[Halle]

Dilly , It's hard to say wheather it is the milk or simply her getting worked up - only the other morning she threw up after her milk - and she was good humoured before this no crying at all. But I suppose that I 'm worried that she may be intolerant to the lactose in milk ? Does anyone know if this is only a temporary thing or permanent?
Also , I thought that if she had this problem it would have been from birth not just occurring now? I breasfed her for 9 months , thenshe had follow-on milk formula, then at 12 months she happily began drinking milk ? So what is going on ?

[Also a mum]

Hi there,
try with soya based formula or milk instead of cow based and see if the same happens. I would reduce the food and milk in the evening before she goes to bed and try to give dinner and bottle earlier in the evening instead.
Good luck!

[Rosie]

Well, as a Gina Ford follower, the 'normal' schedule for an 18 month old would be awake at 7 a.m., nap for 1 1/2 - 2 hours after lunch, then bed at 7-7.30.

How long has the bedtime vomiting been going on.  If it was a tummy bug, I'd have thought it would be over in a couple of days, and there would be other symptoms, like she'd be listless and generally out of sorts.  Don't know about the lactose intolerance - I think I'd probably vomit if I downed a pint of milk in one go!  Perhaps you could try just giving her a smaller amount of milk at bedtime (or soya as someone has suggested).

How is she getting on going to bed when you're just giving her water?

Is she still sleeping in a cot, or is she now in a big bed?  A cot would make it easier to do the controlled crying stuff, if that's what you decide.

Kids at this age get very good at delaying tactics at bedtime.  Vomitting may be just another one, as it takes time for you to clear up and put her to bed again.  Perhaps you should give lots of attention when you first put her to bed, but if she vomits, just clear up without any fuss (or sympathy) and see if this stops it.

Good luck and let us know how it's going.

[Halle]

Yes- she is sleeping with just a bottle of cooled boiled water now. She has had co milk for last two days , no more vomiting , but still a couple of bad nappies.
I think that I will keep her off milk until next Monday at least , to see what kind of improvement it makes. Also we have gotten her up at at 7.30 {made noise instead of quietness} and she is napping before lunch around 12 o'clock. Still she resists going to bed but it's a little better. I just hope that she will start to go to bed easier in the coming weeks because at the moment it takes me an 1and a half ??  When I re-introduce the milk all will be revealed , yes? stay tuned.....