18 month old driving me nuts!

[BTDT]

Goingnuts,

I know this is not what you intended, but your post made me smile.  Our youngest is now 18 months, and oh the joys....

What works for each child and family will be different.  For us, we only childproofed when absolutely necessary (stairs, swimming pool) because we found the childproofing made things more interesting to the young ones.  I put things up high, suddenly they learned to climb.  I put covers over the outlets, suddenly they were even more interested than normal.  They are just so curious and mobile at that age.  For us it worked better to have lots and lots of interesting things for them to do, and then train them to leave the other stuff alone.

So...have a drawer in the kitchen full of junk they can dump out and play with.  Build forts out of blankets.  Collect cardboard shoe boxes and build them into walls to walk through or knock down.  Roll a blanket up and tie it with string so its a giant snake.  Take an old remote/cordless phone etc. and clearly mark with bright tape so they know it's theirs and let them play with it.  Fill a sink or large bucket with water and maybe bubbles or food coloring and let them float boats or sink things and generally make a mess.  Take big cardboard boxes and build houses and forts.  Let them scribble on them and tear them up.  Seriously...the boxes at this age are usually more interesting than the toys.  

Lots and lots of energy expending play is the key.

If you get tired of saying no all the time, try flipping it around to the positive.  Instead of "no jumping on the chairs", say "put your feet on the floor."  It's a little thing, but I have found the little ones do a better job *doing* what you tell them to do than *stopping* what you don't want them to do.

Also, at this age they are able to start helping clean up the messes the make.  Ok, so they are not very much help, but they can put toys in a bin, throw things away, etc.  It gives them a big sense of accomplishment.  Don't underestimate that.  Everyone wants to feel useful and kids are no exception to that!!!

It is sometimes funny to try this little experiment:  go about some household chore like picking up a room or hanging laundry or doing the dishes, but be very clumsy about it.  Drop the forks, drop the toys, drop the clothespins, just be a total clutz.  Nine times out of ten, the little ones will come to your rescue and try to "help."  It is very sweet.

Hang in there.

[To BTDT]

I very much enjoyed reading your post, some wonderful ideas you have given.  The only thing that concerned me was the fact that you said that you never childproofed until necessary.  Although I understand your logic, wasn't it a bit of taking a big risk by not covering electrical outlets, etc.?  It only takes seconds for something tragic to happen.  

Anyway, great ideas for parents of little ones!  Mine are well past these stages, so enjoy while they are still young as time has a way of slipping by quickly.  

[Goingnutz]

Had a much better last 2 days   Haven't shouted once!!! Have started to be more positive and use STOP instead of a million NO!'s My little boy seems to be happier too  

[BTDT]

We always childproofed the stairs with gates and any sources of water well before there could be a problem.

For the other stuff, found it easier to supervise closely and train accordingly.  My oldest son never touched an outlet until he saw one with a cover on it!!!!

I am not necessarily recommending this to other families---it was just what we found worked for us.

[BTDT]

Woo-hoo to Goingnutz!!!!!

[mangosteen]

I would also recommend changing the instructions to positive reminders ("Feet go on the floor!"), rather than saying 'no' all the time.  I read this somewhere and it has really worked for us.  Also, make sure rules sound like they came from some objective source, so that it's not a personal battle about who wins.  "Chairs are for sitting," "Markers are for drawing on paper" etc.  

[Moosmum]

The thing that worked for us and still does is distraction (works on husbands too!)

When I could see child heading for major meltdown after too much "discipling" from me (and not getting anywhere either!) if she was still doing what I had told her not to do I would walk into the kitchen or wherever and say in a loud voice "Wow look at this" or start laughing really loudly or some such nonsense and invariably she would waddle in to see what was going on.

I would have found a book with some pictures in, or emptied the tupperware and wooden spoons on the floor etc and within a nano second all memories of the power struggle going on next door would have been forgotten.

The other thing is consistancy. If you won't let him play with "it" today, don't let him play with it tomorrow. If you say "if you throw that again, I'll take it away" and he does it again, then take it away. He will quickly realise that you mean what you say and there is no point trying to assert his authority as yours is stronger!!