13mth old snatches and growls

[Distracted]

Totally agree the embarrassment factor gets worse. My three year old shouted out to me across the post office while I was queing (he had been "playing" next to the barrier dividing the queues a few rows behind me. I was moving up the queue but he refused to move with me and i didn't think he was doing anything that would be a problem so i let him be...) "sorry mum, i'm really sorry"

what for i asked back trying not to be too loud, conscious that the whole post office could hear our conversation, "for broking this" he said pointing to the barrier where he'd managed to detach the canvas barrier from it's pole.

Don't think it was actually broken just detached but I was mortified and amused by it all -he absolutely refused to come and stand next to me and i was desperate to get something in the post and didn't want to lose my place plus I had a taxi waiting so i couldn't do anything except hiss at him to no avail! Eventually when he did come over I felt totally hassled as he tried to "help" me write out the parcel forms -i just wanted to scream at him! But it was poor planning on my part taking him there in the first place at that particular time of day (lunchtime -busy -he was tired).

Re the regular use of "no", particularly with the younger one, I find now that she either repeats it back which makes me laugh or she seems to get riled by it so I try to use alternatives as I move her away or distract her eg "that's not very friendly/polite" that's not how we behave with our friends/make friends, we don't snatch/smack etc etc or if i'm trying to be really positive, "lets be friendly and share our toys rather than grabbing at everthing!"

maybe that sounds a bit wishy washy but even i get tired of hearing myself constantly bleating out "no"!

their receptive language is very good even if they don't have much vocab so i think it's worth being more expressive with them as they get older and can communicate more.  i try to save the really firm "no", to stop them in their tracks from something that might be dangerous or if they're overly aggressive with other kids. otherwise after a while they just seem to zone it out!

i think it helped with the older one, as he became more articulate, he would come up to me and say so and so wasn't being very friendly or very polite and knew exactly what it meant from an early age.

[softie]

Thanks "distracted".  You know what?  You made me think about my typical reaction in your post office incident today.  Up until NOW I would have watched - probably "tsk'ed" or watched with amusement.

From this MOMENT forward I will help other mother's in anyway I can - even if it means a bit of extra time or effort.  I'm thinking what I would have done if I was there and probably would have definitely feigned "empathy" with you and probably made a bit of a joke about it.  Then while you were trying to post and do the admin stuff - played with your little one with my little one.  I'd have figured something out.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.  You've really made me reassess my own social attitude and why I get embarrassed in public.  It's because of people like me up until reading your posting...

May catch you at the bank or the post office - I'll be the one with the spritely little munchkin ripping into my purse!!!

[oops]

sorry, I seem to have stumbled into hell!

[Older]

You've largely had great advice, so won't repeat it. Just reminded me of something. Wait till your children say things out loud just for effect. My boys love saying "Please don't hit me again Mummy" or "Please can I have some food today Mummy" loudly in crowded places!

Enjoy

[I'm 13 months old too]

'Older'.  Yes it does get funnier.  So I have the 13mth old and a 3 year old who went through this little phase, if we were waiting for my husband (their dad), Mr 3 would look at other men and say 'mummy is that my daddy?', loud enough for them to hear.  At first I was embarrassed and then just joined in 'hmm, no i don't think so'.  It was all this little innocent game he thought - not so for the people giving me strange looks "that poor child doesn't even know he's father!".

[globetrotter]

You need to start setting boundaries as soon as you can see that they're crossing them (I know that sounds weird, but I hope you understand what I mean). If you let it slide now, and later you say 'no', you won't be able to enforce it. After all, if it's been alright to do something up to now, what's changed?
As for pushing buttons, all babies do that, and it's not sinister. Have you never seen the fake tears that vanish as soon as they get what they want?
I try to explain why I'm saying 'no', even though sometimes it feels like it's going over bubs' head. For one thing, babies do understand a lot more than you realise; for another, if I keep talking, it distracts him a bit. Initially, it took a lot to get bubs to respect the boundaries, but we're getting there.

[odourless]

Their sense of smell becomes keener as they get older -as toddlers they could, if left, go for hours in a smelly nappy without any discomfort (to either of their ends!), by 3 they're well aware of the odours around them and now I cringe if my son, comments loudly that he doesn't like the smell somewhere.

Some taxis can be unbearable but it's still embarrassing when he gets in one and says mum, this taxi really smells!

[money]

You've got some great advice there to work with.  I've also had the wallet problem with my 14 monther.  Have discovered if I get my wallet out and hand her the money before we arrive she is distracted so I can shove my wallet back in my bag.  She's very funny, as soon as I give her the money she leans forward trying to give it to the driver. (can't as she is well buckled in).  I then shove the change in my bag without getting the wallet out again.  

I use no/distraction/removal where appropriate.  You really have to choose your battles.  As others have said there are some things that you can let go but when there is safety involved I take a no nonsense line.