Baby sleeping problems

[5wkbabe]

My 5 week old baby cannot put herself to sleep  on her own during the day. She needs to be carried until she falls asleep. And even the, she is a very light sleeper during the day and often wakes up during her sleep. This problem only started when she was 3 weeks old. Previously, she would fall asleep on her own after being put in the cot.  Her night time sleeping is however OK - probably because she falls asleep immediately after being fed.

Is this a typical pattern for a newborn? Or should I be training her to fall asleep on her own?

[heron]

I have a 5 week old who sounds just the same. He's my third, and as far as I can recall all mine were much the same at this, very early, stage. But my  older two became great sleepers in due course - so I am not concerened.  My attititude/preference (and I know that everyone is different) has been that until around 6 months I don't train/force the baby to do anything much. Until that age I feel that what they want is pretty much what they need. Once they hit 6 months I feel they will feel secure and loved enough for me to start to use controlled crying when necessary. Of course, I do try to encourage him to fall asleep by himself already, by laying him down when he is dozy and relaxed, but if he gets distressed I always pick him up at this stage.
However, I have a friend who has always been very strict with her two's sleep patterns. More or less from birth she lays them down at the time she wants them to sleep and lets them cry it out until they finally sleep, and that worked for her. But I could not bring myself to do that with a newborn.
And within a few months both our children had the same sleeping patterns anyway.
So, its up to you!

[5wkbabe]

thanks for the reply heron. comforting to know that there are others in the same boat. does your baby also wake up frequently during his day sleeps? i find it so exhausting to constantly have to put her back to sleep the whole day. i notice that she wakes herself up with her own hand movements. so i now wrap her arms when she sleeps during the day, but she still manages to loosen her arms sometimes...and in the process, wakes herself up! any idea what i could do??

[heron]

Yes, in the day quite often he wakes himself up with his hand - my interpretation of this is that he is trying to get a finger/thumb in his mouth to suck, but he is still too unco-ordinated to do get a finger in and keep it there. I have two ways of dealing with this - sometimes it turns out that he wanted a bit more milk, or at least a little bit more of a suck (even though it feels to me as if he must have had plenty, sometimes just a minute or so more sucking sends him off properly). If this doesn't seem to be what he wants, then (the two other boys permitting) I just let him sleep on my shoulder for a good long time until I am as sure as I can be that he is really in a deep sleep (but he still rears up several times on restless days).
HOpe this helps - but most of all, remember they change from day to day, week to week, and what seems like its happening all the time THIS week, will most likely be a distant memory in another few weeks.

[same]

Your 5 week old sounds just like mine was.....who now is a perfect sleeper and has been since three months!!!  I found during the day I put her in a sling to let me carry on with everyday things...and it helped her into a deep sleep.  I also couldnt let my baby cry...they are so little!!!

[This message has been edited by BoardManager (edited 09-04-2004).]

[Alternative]

I had the same problem.  My baby would go to sleep only in the sling during the day, but the minute I put him down he would scream & this continued until I couldn't stand it anymore and ended up at sleep school with him at 20 wks old!!!! .  I was almost insane and it was a Nightmare.....

In a nutshell here is what I learned.

set an environment that signals sleep for the baby & have it THE SAME every time ie: wrap in a muslin so startle reflex doesn't wake them up.  Give dummy if this is your pref (I didn't want to but turned out mine was a real 'sucker'.  Put a small appropriate toy in the child's direct vision (tuck into side of bed btwn mattress and cot side).

Place the clam child into bed and leave the room.

If crying starts, wait 2 minutes (at 5 wks an appropriate time) and go in to settle.  DO NOT pick up unless absolutely necessary.  Pat, stroke etc until the babe calms down again, but is not asleep, at which point leave the room.

Continue this routine, extending the time you are out of the room until the baby drops off to sleep.  At 5 wks do not leave the baby crying for more than 5-7 minutes on his/her own.  This will take a while at first (sometimes up to an hour).   In all likelihood too the crying will get quite distressed (& distressing!), but that distress will peak and subside until the child falls asleep.  Usually most parents give up before this point, so don't know what it sounds like when they 'crest the hill' and settle themselves.  I definitely had no idea and was rushing to his 'aid' before he had the chance to do it himself.  The end result was he was over stimulated and I was a wreck.

Now, lot's of people like to throw flack at this method and that is fine.  I think because it can be tough to listen to your new baby cry, and because of this it is not for everyone.  You have to make the choice for yourself of whether you want risk a situation where the only place your baby will sleep is on you, for how long, who knows?

For us, it worked and as a result our now two year old does not grumble about going to bed ever, no dealying tactics, no getting in and out of bed etc etc.  He knows the ground rules and bed is a safe and cosy place for him - and my husband and I are well rested!

If this is the way you want to go and you want some assistance, don't hesitate to ask.

Good luck - this is the stuff they forget to tell you about!

[Alternative]

Ooops.  Of course I mean CALM child - not clam child.  

Finger dislexia!

[How About?]

Check out babycenter dot com and search for "Baby Sleep Patterns"  The info you are looking for is posted there.