How do you manage with more kids?

[2 kids?]

Hi everyone!

I was always so certain that I wanted to have more then one kid. Now with a nine month old I just start to wonder how people manage to have more than one. He keeps me busy most of my day... the thought of being pregnant again and carrying him all around... in and out of the stroller etc, wow! that makes me feel really tired!!

So will it be easier when he gets older? or do you feel that it is just something one has to accept?
Do you feel that you have to divide the times between the kids and them never gets really the attention they are worth?

Still... my mother had me and two more... please, I love to hear some comments from more experienced parents.

[Swedemom]

the good thing about having more than one kid is that they can entertain each otuer and you will hve more time for you ;-)

But ofcourse it will be hard the first period but others have managed so will you. Actually from what I have heard it is the toughest with no 2 after that it just goes by automatic ;-) Good luck and enjoy your little one and dont worry about the next child to be al ready :-)

[nerf]

I have a 9 month old, a two and a half year old, and a 13 year old, so I have the experience of having an only child (the 13 year old) and then of close siblings.  I hate to break it to you, but having more little ones close to each other is really hard, especially when they are very young (like mine).  Then again, I've seen my oldest daughter grow up alone (until 2.5 yrs ago, that is) and that was no fun for her.  If I could go back, I would have given her a playmate much, much sooner.  In any case, having two close together is probably going to prove to be wonderful later on, but it is really hard right now for me.  I have no time for anything, and if you don't have help, it can be quite miserable.  It is great, though, to see the kids together.  My life is full, in many ways...if you want to have more, prepare yourself for the most wonderful yet most challenging times.

[children]

Having three children I actually think in hindsight that I gave the first one far too much attention in that I never left her alone and talked to her constantly which now seems strange to me - it wasn't what you would call natural conversation!  I felt very guilty when I had the second one that the first one would suffer from lack of attention - it has probably been a relief for her.  When the third one came I didn't feel guilty at all as I know how much the first two gain from each other - virtually all day is spent doing entertaining things for the children (not much different from having one in that respect except when it's an outdoors occasion it is sometimes difficult to watch all three at once, particularly around the swimming pool).  Constant dishwashing/clothes washing etc but the days seem to fly past and there is no chance to get bored.

I think you just adapt to a different situation - personally I found it most difficult when I my first child as I didn't really know what to do after having little contact with children for most of my life.

[hibiscus]

Who's managing? We're just surviving, and we have 4!

You don't manage, I think, but rather you cope. You'll be amazed what you can do when you have to! But get help where you need it - makes the living a little saner!

[for the young!]

Isn't all of this the reason we have our babies when we are 'young' so we have a little more energy to deal with them??  

[GlobeTrot]

Have one that will be 2 on Tuesday and have a 7-week old.

Agree with hibiscus, just about coping...managing is not a word I would choose to describe our lives at the moment.

We have a lot of support from parents, friends and neighbours to deal with the two boys. Taking each day as it comes and trying to remain VERY flexible with our daily schedule.

Frankly, I am starting to get worried  about moving to Singapore in 6 weeks. When hubbie is off to work, I won't have any familiar and trusted help support.... actually I am dreading my first day alone.

[GlobeTrot]

Somehow when they smile, my batteries always get recharged... don't know how.

[Moosmum]

Globetrot - don't worry about coming here at all (easier said than done I know).  There are so many of us with children and husbands at work all day, and most of us can relate to the fears that you have.  Nowehere in Sinagpore is that far away and before you know it you will have a new network of friends (granted not family) who will be able to help when you feel you need it and they will also be there when you just want a chat.  You already have one here - me! (I promise I am not a psycho but I am from London!)

As for having more kids, this is something that I am also worried about.  I love my daughter far more than I ever thought possible and I honestly wonder how I would be able to love another just as much?  I have three friends who have two kids and I swear they all say that the second one is their favourite as the first one was so alien to them or they had so much trouble and worries with the first one and the second one is so much easier so they can appreciate them more etc.  

I also had a bad pregnancy (out of 9 months I think I was only NOT sick for about 2 weeks), not a great birth, child was taken into hospital once born due to illness and to be perfectly honest I am scared of going through that again.  

I know I am looking at this from a negative point of view but these are my fears as to why I am still happy with one.