Unfortunately all the things you mention (enemas, lying down while giving birth, standard episiotomies etc) are standard practise with most OB's and most hospitals in Singapore. Some of the more open/flexible OB's have been mentioned before on this list - so far not come across any at KK but I'm sure they are out there !
It's very diccult to go on other people's recommendations for an OB as everyone's preferences and expectations regarding childbirth are so different - it's a very personal matter, some women are very happy for their OB to take the lead and will basically agree to whatever the OB tells them is necessary, others prefer to be more of an equal partner and find an OB who is willing to discuss options and choices with them.
This is all important stuff to talk about and clarify with them - and the best time to do it is long before the birth ! (I'm sure you know this already) Be careful with how you ask questions - if you say "do you routinely cut episiotomies" they would usually say no; better to say "in what percentage of your clients do you find it necessary to cut an episiotomy?" and probe about exactly when and why they might do one; also try and get them to be specific about things like positions for delivery etc. If you get any sense at all they are being evasive or fobbing you off, change doctors.
I believe the choice of doctor is MUCH more important than the choice of hospital, as the nurses will follow whatever instructions they have received from the OB - if you arrive and say you don't want continuous monitoring, for example, and that's something you haven't previously discussed and agreed with your OB, then you have little chance of getting them to agree - but if it's all in black and white in your birth plan (signed off by the OB) then they will generally comply.
Good luck and if you find a good one please post to this board !
