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ExpatSingapore Message Board 25 May 2012, 0:32:07 am *
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Author Topic: Help-hubby is indifferent  (Read 1516 times)
To14weeks
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« Reply #15 on: 08 February 2005, 9:42:00 am »
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14weeks - once I hit 16 weeks I felt like a new woman, more relaxed, better perception - able to look at food without disgust and it went similarly for my husband I was able to think of him without contempt & fault finding (must have been a relief for him!).

I bet if your husband new how you felt right now he would be devastated but it is really hard to put things into perspective for anyone else or even ourselves until we start to feel slightly normal.

I have three other women around me that are due around the same time and we are all just coming out of negative thoughts towards our partners and ourselves, some sicker than others.

To the lady who was sick until 26 weeks you poor thing - I found 16 also impossible - 26 would have been an absolute nightmare.

OP - try to write down coherently your feelings and perceptions of how hubby is reacting - once you read it (and you have to be totally honest with yourself) - you might find some of them are unsubstantiated and the others at least give you a solid unhormonal base to talk to him about.

Best of luck - I really hope for you that it all comes together soon.

If not - I just bashed my husband until he came around!!

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« Reply #15 on: 08 February 2005, 9:42:00 am »
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Jo
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« Reply #16 on: 09 February 2005, 7:24:00 am »
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This thread brought out memories of the time I was carrying my son. Before my pregnancy, I thought I looked slim and fabulous.  During the pregnancy, I could never bear to look at myself in the mirror.  "Walrus!" I thought. To make it worse, my husband was then working late all the time and I thought maybe he didn't want to come home to a Walrus thing staring back at him.  So he'd rather return when I am asleep under the covers.  At work I felt my boss treated me differently.  I saw his care and concern as a way to demean me when I didn't looked like the usual hot sales chick I used to be.  The minute he said" Let xxx handle that lead.  Why don't you work on servicing" I felt so unwanted then.
What I am saying is, perhaps it could be a just perception on your part and will remain so only if and when you don't manage the issue together with lots of communication.  Go away somewhere together for a weekend.  Away from the hassles of work, maybe he would open up.  
Whatever you do, please don't think of jumping out of the window etc...just email me.  Maybe with friends who can hold your hand, you won't feel lonely and miserable during your pregnancy.
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