Resentment

[A question for women]

What do you all do when you have alot of resentment/anger inside you, but there isnt much you can do about it i.e. you cant confront the person for various reasons that are too long to go into on here?  I have tried to let things go but there always comes a point when I am going to explode and I really need to get it all out.  I would love to be one of those people that could just let things go and forget about it, but sadly, Im not.

[hoffman]

I think you seriously need to look at yourself & own behaviours & from whom you adopted these behaviours so you can break your patterns.

[This message has been edited by BoardManager (edited 03-06-2006).]

[understand...]

Hi

I understand your feelings; I too have felt this way.

A question was posed to me: "What is your pay off from holding onto these emotions?"  I found this to be true.  If you think really hard, this will be some type of "pay off" for you.  It might be that by feeling resentful of this person, you are justifying to yourself that you are "right" and the other person is "wong".   Something like this...

Also, your feelings are only costing ONE person - and that's you.  So "get over it" for YOUR sake, if not for anyone else's.  

Remember, forgiveness doesn't mean you are condoning whatever he/she did to you.  It just means that you've decided to move on with your life......

Good luck.  It's not as hard as it may seem.  It's just a decision which is easy to stick to, once you've REALLY decided to move on....  Do it for YOU.

[Sorry]

It's called B-A-G-G-A-G-E.

[San Antonio Rose]

I wish there was a quick, failproof solution that I could offer you.  I once read that when men are distraught, they strike out,  often hurting others.  Women tend to turn anger inward, thereby ONLY  hurting themselves.  It's time to stop hurting yourself.  Please seek professional help, if necessary, to help you deal with these very strong and negative emotions.  It could be via traditional "talk" therapy, spiritual/holistic counseling, reiki, hyposis/self-hypnosis, healing meditations, etc.  Find what feels right to you, commit to it and your own healing; this really is a journey worth taking.  All the best to you.

[San Antonio Rose]

sorry, forgot to include - that a good, temporary, quick fix is EXERCISE.  Brisk walking, jogging, swimming, aerobics, kickboxing - you get the idea.  If possible, follow with gentle yoga stretches.  Of course, there's nothing wrong with a good massage, either.  Take care of yourself.

[Scumexpatwife]

I second that emotion. Excercise is THE answer. For a while, you'll be too knackered to care about anything else. Then (& it can take up to 3 months) you'll realise that it wasn't so important. You've regained your sense of proportion. If you can do anything about whatever is bugging you, you'll be able to calmly consider a practical solution &, if not, it won't seem so bad anyhow. I fought post natal depression through boxercise. All that punching. Better a punchbag than a person!

[momma]

i know it sounds bizarre, but hypnosis can help you let go of bottled up feelings and the blame you feel without actually confronting the person. I tried it and in one session I felt much more free of the baggage.

[Dr Know]

I think we need more info.  In general what is the anger about.  If it really is general things like someone doesn't put the toilet lid down (ha ha not here, everyone's got their own toilet, but remember those days).......then it is a matter of trying to get over it 'don't sweat the small stuff'.

But if it's bigger, ie partner cheated or something else then it may need more than just a flick of care.

What's really bothering you?