"naughty" son

[peeved]

Just got back from work so had my maid drop my 2 year old off at playgroup this afternoon.  Apparently, my maid and the teacher had a conversation that went something like this:

T:  "Do the parents of this boy scold him?"
M:  "no, for what?  He isn't naughty."
T:  "Oh yes he is.  He is really naughty here.  He doesn't do what I want him to do (i.e.)"
M:  "He listens at home:"
T:  "Maybe mother should scold him more."

Is it me, or shouldn't a 2 year old have the right to be naughty?  It isn't as if he's setting fire to the place.  So what if he doesnt' listen?  Isn't it his age?  Do all Singaporeans expect their kids to be angels??

What's everybody's input on this?

[My Take]

I think you need to go to the playschool ASAP to discover what is actually going on. There is not enough information to make any sort of comment.

[kobi]

Dear Peeved,

There are right and wrong ways to communicate to children. maybe your child is not responding to the carer, because they were not using the right words with him. I've worked in childcare for nearly six years, and I find that even sometime with experienced and trained carers, sometime they bark orders to the children rather then talk to them.  Maybe the carer weren't communicating with your child using "positive langauge".

The carer in this case was very wrong to make the comment  that "you should scold your son" to a third party. If the carer is concern about your child's behaviour, then they should  informed/ discussed their concern either with you or your husband. No child is perfect. nor can they be expected to go through childhood without the occasional tantrum. but  children need some sort of boundaries and discpline- maybe this is what the carer was trying to tell your maid, rather than expect you to scold your child.

[Grub]

Dear Peeved, is that a local pre-school or an international one?

[Horrified...]

mmmm - count to ten, calm down before replying.....

Your son sounds like a spoiled little brat.  Of course he should learn how to behave.  OK, so all children do naughty things sometimes, but to have a teacher talking about your child like this....well that to me is horrifying.  I am glad to say that I have never had a bad report about my children EVER from their teachers.  They have been brought up to respect others.

[Loops]

I thought being naughty was what being 2 years old was all about!!!

What is the teacher on, saying that you should scold him more if your maid had just said that he listened at home?  Why would she think you'd need to scold a kid who was good at home?

If he's naughty at school then it's up to the teacher to tell him off there and then - 2 year olds won't remember by the time they've got home what it was they did that was supposed to be naughty, so there's no point in expecting you to tell him off 2 or 3 hours after the event is there?

It depends what he was supposed to have done to be considered naughty in the first place - was he just running around when he was supposed to be sitting still - or was it something more serious like flooding the bathroom?

I found out that my 3 year old was made to stand facing the wall on her first week at kindergarten.  When I spoke to the teacher about it, I gathered that it was because she'd kept getting up to play with toys when the teacher wanted them all to sit down and listen to her.

I think kids in Singapore are expected to behave like they're in a proper school environment from an earlier age, which is fine if your child knows that's what's required of them, but if, like me, you come from a country where they're just allowed to do what they want at playgroup, they find it difficult at first.

My daughter is OK now though, I think she's sussed that she's not allowed to just run riot at school anymore!

[perspectives]

peeved:

it is unfortunate the teacher chose to communicate your child's 'naughtiness' in that somewhat undiplomatic manner.

from my perspective, i'd say she is probably implying that your son's behaviour was less than desirable and was wondering if that was so at home, or what your course of action was if he acted in a similar manner.

as for the posters who say a 2 yr old has a right to be naughty, sure .. but surely you do not send you child to school so he can be naughty?
for eg i have seen constantly disruptive 2.5 yr olds running around ripping up others' artwork and moms just saying defensively "oh dear .. but he does that at home too!"
all the teachers in the classroom seem to be doing is keeping track of these kids.

all this is pure speculation of course, you should have a nice chat with the teacher to get to the bottom of this, to answer you (i.e.)
it could be as harmless an issue such as a refusal to wash his hands everyday.  
earth shattering for some, non issue to others.

good luck.

[Playgroup]

it is a playgroup not a school.  emphasis on the word 'play'.  ripping up artwork would be completely unacceptable, but as we do not know what he has done, we cannot really comment on that.

[Go to the Source]

For goodness sake - why do people ask a bunch of strangers their opinions, when no one including you, were there.  Go straight to the source - the teacher - and ask them what the situation is.  Only then will you find out what actually happened and and only then can you comment and make your own judgement.  Why ask us? Get a life and deal with your own situations.

[SoSo]

We have a friend who removed their child from a playgroup - a local one. The reason? Well, at the end of each day the children were asked who had been the most naughty. The child didn't give a name. "Come on, you must give a name before you go" said the teacher. "But I don't think anyone has been naughty" replied the child. "Well, you had better think again because you can't go until you give a name".

What is this - teaching kids to be Big Brother?