Have second baby?

[SECOND BABY]

I have a two year old daughter who is  active, lively and cheerful. I fear if I will have another baby my daughter may become withdrawn.

Can any experienced mom advise me?

[TCT]

I think she will be fine.  I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old baby.  My older boy was 20 months when the baby came along and we had no problems at all - no jealousy or anything and he has always been very friendly and affectionate towards the baby.  I don't know if having a child who that little bit older would make a difference but I'm sure she will adapt - kids are pretty adaptable really and she may well love having a sibling, particularly since she sounds a bright little character already.  I can't see why having a new baby would bring about a major negative change in her character.  If she's a happy child already then she'll probably stay that way.  I'm loving having my two boys so I say go for it.  It will be a wonderful experience for all of you.  Just because you have a new baby it doesn't mean you can't still have time for your first child.  Even when you are looking after the baby, changing and feeding etc you can be chatting to your older one and letting them know they are just as important to you as before.  Let her know about the baby when you are pregnant, get her well prepared with books about babies and maybe a baby doll of her own and then give her lots of love afterwards and keep her included in events.  She'll be fine.  I was lucky to have lots of support after the birth (c-section) in the form of parents, in-laws and a husband who had a couple of weeks off work and my older son had lots of attention from them in those early weeks which probably helped.  He didn't seem to miss me while I was in hospital (3 days. I think I suffered more being away from him than he did - it was a big mental adjustment for me going from 1 to 2 kiddies) and he was fine when we came home.  Lots of attention from Dad is also recommended for the older child - can be a good chance for them to have some time together.  Good luck and I hope all works out well for your family.

[TCT]

PS - I'd describe my 2 year old as lively, active and cheerful and having a baby certainly hasn't changed that - if anything he's more social and loving that before.

[Go for it!!]

I know it's hard to believe that another child could bring you as much joy as your first but as soon as they arrive all your doubts dissapear.   As long as your daughter is made to feel part of your pregnancy and knows that no 2 is an addition to your family rather than a replacement she'll be fine.  Try and stave off the good news for as  long as possible though as 9 months is an eternity for such a little girl.  As your baby starts to move and can be felt from the outside it becomes more real and she can "tickle" her sister/brother, wash her in the bath with you, rub lotion on mums tum and really feel she's helping.  She'll love to think of names for her new sibling, guess whether it will be a boy or girl and tell all her friends about the impending arrival.
There are a wealth of books out there to help with the transition from only child to older child.  
Don't worry so much - most families survive, with richer lives for the experience.  The fact that your little girl is so happy and well adjusted will make it all so much easier for you all.