Marriage breakups more here?

[Wondering Why]

Recently in the past 3 months I have heard about 5 women who are suing for divorce. All of them have had between 10 to 20 years of marriage and 2 to 3 kids in the age range of 3 to 10 years. Therefore they the women are around 30 to 40 years. What is the reason for divorce??

Somehow men seem to get entangled with a certain imported brand of females from a nearby country, they are young and most of them if not all have just one thing to offer Good in bed.
These women are either hookers, or maids. There are wonderful women who are married or in relationship with Expat men who make good spouses/ wives but they are a different breed Yes from the same country. I do not wish to generalize , neither do I wish to offend those who have set up home with women .

The women I am writing about are the ones that hang around Karoke bars, bars, pubs, or hookers.

Singapore has such tight stringent rules about everything-- HOW come no one in the Law enforcement has rules which evaluate the reason for sudden spate of divorces filed by expat women with kids in tow, and the grounds for divorce are adultery, neglect, abuse,mental and almost desertation.

Singapore should look into this area and if the men have strayed from the marriage bed they should be dealt with by either caning, and a jail term. More so as these expat men come to the country to work ,bring trailing wives and kids, who depend on them for everything almost, and then are faced with such trauma. They have no friends ( except a few friendly aquaintances ) they come in contact with, no family to run to, cultural differences stop them from airing their pain and greivances AND then these men knowing that very little these wives can do strike up relationships with women of questionable character.

The MOM or immigration authorities should now have a new clauses-- that if at any time the  wifes of these men turn to the Singapore courts for divorce on grounds of Adultery, mental abuse, trying to stop monetary benefits they will be proscuted and if proved guilty could face jail terms fines and YES canning too!

This would help in more ways than one. IF the parties need to get a divorce the grounds should be other than adultery.

Some of the women who are going through this pain do not even speak English well, coming from different parts of Europe.

Readders, I am not a prude, men can have fun, each one has his own reason to stray but when it comes to divorce and syphoning money to a waif and letting the wife and kids suffer it is NOT done. Is it fair? What an I say? as most will say all is fair in love and war. BUT THIS is not LOVE,. Where is the love where  kids are neglected face constant insecurity because of the unhappiness due to fights and confrontations between the parents concerned?

The women are outsiders , most of the time or almost all the time ' the other woman' is blamed that is a normal and emotional  reactive emotion that a wronged party feels, it is the PERSON the husband who has to be blamed.

Yes these loose women are alround in many countries but in  South East Asia due to the economic conditions the expat men are easy prey.How come we never hear of Singaporean men getting entangled in such affairs? Oh yes they have mistresses but just a handful.

Singaporean men value their kids, their families a handful of those over 50 maybe, due to midlife crisis?!!
Anndropause? but on the whole they never go that faras to inflict delibrate misery.

It is time that someone takes up cudgels to bring these matters to a head with the Singaporean government.
After all there are laws saying if caught committing any theft, criminal offenses, etc. etc. etc. employment passes will be cancelled , deportation and police action will be taken SO I am Wondering WHY this is not so ?

One can argue as many of you will do, so does this not happen in Europe and the Americas? Yes it does but there it is a mixed lot, not outsiders filtering in to the country on pretext of household help, and they belong to that country+ the fact that the the women who go for divorce have a lot of back ups unlike here where they are at the mercy of their spouses and in an alien country .

[Snaffled]

You are getting into very scary territory if you think that morality within a marriage should be controlled/punished by the government.  

The temptations (and associated prices) that exist here simply do not exist in many places in Europe and the US.   I have seen many expats who, having lived a fairly routine existence in Europe or the US, come to Asia and go nuts.  The availability, and attainability, of gorgeous Asian girls (prostitutes or otherwise) goes to their head, and they are like a kid in a candy shop.  Their marriage simply hasn't had to endure that sort of temptation before & is ill-prepared for it.  

That being said, I'm not sure if there is credible information out there on this.  

I very much like to quote from Dr Frank Kotsonis  
"The plural of anecdote is not data"

[ooooh]

it is not a legal crime to commit adultery, therefore shouldn't carry a punishment.

To say that a handful of Singaporean men have mistresses is laughable. It is the cultural norm here and has been for decades. Read your history. The difference now is that many Singaporean men can't afford to keep a mistress, but many do.

It always happens in a hedonistic society, look at the debauchery the Romans got up to. If people have more money than they need and time to socialize then they do tend to change their moral values. I have lived in many places abroad and this happens everywhere. The men have a particualr problem coping. At home they are just one of the many going to work and mowing the lawn. Abroad they are 'foreign talent', looked up to, paid more and usually in a more senior job than at home. They can't deal with the reality and think they are suddenly god's gift. Add to that the women hanging around them when they go out, no matter how ugly or fat they may be, and you've completed the transformation. They start believing their own press.

A man's wife makes him face reality, knows him for what he is. A mistress flatters him and makes him believe he is something he aspires to be - ie a good lover, attractive, charming and witty.

Sad for everyone really.

[Wondering Why]

Snazzled
I am not referring to Morality at all. If you reread my post I am bemoaning the FACT as it stands without additions.
The fact of the matter is
Divorce on grounds of adultery in an alien country.
If men cannot control themselves then they should be ready for the consequences, They should be made acccountable for their'going nuts' it is as good as saying Oh in Singapore because there is so much electronic items around whay shold I not shop lift??

[bwa ha ha ha ha]

Only a handful of local men have mistresses/extra marital affairs ? ? ! ! !  Asians would not normally hang dirty laundry in public

In Asia, women are brought up to be wives with the reality that "Once the man goes out the front door, he is no longer your husband . . ."

If you cannot accept that, it's better not to get married.

Hence the ever increasing number of single women locally, especially among the better educated

[Well]

I think caning adulterers goes a bit too far.  However, I do think the courts should financially (in some cases) reward the women and children with sufficient support, so that the husbands can't just cut off their electricity, car payments, house payments, etc. and completely abandon his wife and child without any consequence or responsibility.

[faithful]

Quite apart from which it is totally unjustified to point the prejudiced finger at women from 'a nearby country'.

You can't really believe that Singaporean girls /women are just SO pure that they would never commit such dreadful sins? Wake up!

[boredandbored]

Troll post, aiming to stir discussion.
Yawn....

Singapore is the place with least sexually active men, as the stats say (Durex worldwide survey, done annualy among millions of people, with symilar results every year).
Everthing else is boredom.

[rolling ball]

You're assuming that the mistake is done after marriage by the husband straying.

I would say that the mistake is done when the couples decide to get married. If they chose the wrong mate that didn't truly love each other, that's what happens.

If the husbands do love their wife and vice versa, then they will do whatever it takes to not hurt their spouse's feelings.

On another note, I also observed that after having a child, some of the wives spent all their love and attention to their child and almost none to their spouse. If that happens, it would not be surprising that the husbands stray to women who are willing to give them some attention.

[Bleedin' Obvious]

<Troll post, aiming to stir discussion.
Yawn....>

surely proving the point of a DISCUSSION board  

[In agreement]

The mistress of today is your wife and the mother of your children tomorrow/ 5years.
HA HA HA

[Old Mike]

In my long experience, a men are lazy creatures of habit. If they have a nice home and loving wife they will not take the trouble to stray.
When an expat wife is brought from a humdrum life to the leisure and luxury of Expat Singapore she often gets delusions of grandeur and starts treating her husband like her poor maid.
If he is miserable at home he will finally seek comfort outside. As there are far more Asian girls here than expat ones, it is likely that he will chose an Asian.
The solution to the problem is to imprison the wife of the unfortunate expat male who has been made so miserable. After all, it is she who is sabotaging the Singapore economy.

[hehehe]

Good idea Old Mike!!  

[OMG]

Old Mike

If you're married I hope your wife is not reading this as that has to be the biggest load of CR*P I have ever read

[Old Mike]

I am happily married and my wife may well read it.
We have also seen failed relationships.