Marriage breakups more here?

[Old Mike]

HOD wrote:

I was referring to Old Mikes post, which I thought (erroneously as it seems) was so obviously tongue-in-cheek, that even the most humourless amongst us would realise it.

Yes the tongue was in the cheek.
In 9 times out of 10 the problem is the kids.
Children are generally very conscious of material things and far worse snobs than most adults dare to be. They make excessive demands on their mother, who then neglects and victimises her husband.
This is an area where the Singapore government could really make a positive contribution.
All expat kids should be taken to a compound built on Pulau Ubin.
There they would recieve education in their home school systems, as well as instruction in Asian history, Malay, Tamil and Mandarin. discipline would be Singaporean.They would wear uniforms and be properly fed and looked after. Pocket money would not be allowed.
They would be allowed to write home once a week and would be allowed to receive one letter.
They would be allowed 3 weeks holiday for  Northern Hemisphere summer and 3 at Christmas.
The kids would emerge as self sufficient adults.
Their parents would have a better chance of staying together.

[Heart of Darkness]

Old Mike
If you're married I hope your wife is not reading this as that has to be the biggest load of CR*P I have ever read

[Old Mike]

Greatness at last

[Wondering Why]

From most of the posts I have read I noticed that men have more to say than women. If you guys had a bit of intergity, decency , compassion as well as something called COMMITTIMENT in a partnership  called MARRIAGE then you would have shown your mettle by either keeping your silly bigoted chauvinist opinions in your back pockets or writing something sensible .

How did some of you jump to conclusions that all expat women are fat and carry weight? Opinionated? Judgemental;? generalizing?

As for the smarty pants who mentioned 'fillipinas' did my post mention the country or the race?? No-- but you are really smart that YOU HIT THE NAIL on the head as U and all others are Aware what really happens here right?

One other poster talks about adultery and courts not interferring.. Have you stufdied law my ignorant pal? Obviously not. Adultery is a Crime BTW YSs for those that have taken marriage wows it is not something to laugh about. Yes if you are in a common law realtionship then adultery does not come in.

As for those that have riduculed incld. the boardmaster  so why does Singapore have canning etc. for smaller offences like felony, maid abuse , Molesting when they are consenting adults?? That is all  allowed but a genuine case like adultery is left to high heavens ?

What if a person has a contract, committment with one company and a work permit / employment pass and also on the sly works for another at the same time? Do  companies, let them off the hook?

What about those men who are bowlegged, bald, pockmarked faced do their wives go hunting for younger men who can satisfy their lust? How many women ( expat) can you tell me off the cuff you guys know who have done that and their husbands sued them in Singapore courts?

Just to give your two penny bits on a message baord without any thought has now left me 'Wondeing with  more WHYS than ever..

As for the recent case the lady is 39 and GORGEOUS she is from the northern part of Europe and a stunner but she is not 25 anymore.

Sometime back one of the guys we know from Eastern Europe left his wife and grown up kids YES literally for a maid like woman , married her , had a kid, then he would come to us  his pals' say it was great for a year but now what the hell she cannot even converse on any topic and I am so bored.'. Luckily his wife and he parted amicably, so he would then call her long distance just to TALK!

Expat women do not ask their husbands to take care of their families , parents siblings but here the women who ensnare men see to it that he does just that and only if  he is a good boy will he be able to enjoy the candy in bed!

[Heart of Darkness]

I keep my bulging wallet (so as to attract the girls) and condoms in my back pocket. No space for my bigoted chauvinistic opinons...

However, I did a little research and interestingly it seems

"In France, Germany, Austria and other countries in Europe, as well as in some of the states of the United States, adultery is a criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment or fine"

and also

"Adultery on the part of the wife is, by the law of England, a ground for divorce, but on the part of the husband must be either incestuous or bigamous, or coupled with cruelty or desertion for two or more years"

Even I can see that doesn't seem entirely fair

So given then Singapore law is based upon English law (at least up until the application of English law act in 1993) it seems likely that the law is as it was in 1993. I am sure there are some lawyers out there who can clarity this.

Now. A word of advice to the original poster. If you want to encourage any kind of intelligent debate of discussion on a clearly emotive subject such as this, you will probably have a lot more sucess if you limit yourself to your actual point and don't wander off aimlessly into a racist, sexist diatribe, which serves only to make you look ignorant.

There..enough seriousness from me for now

[Bored Man]

Adultery is against the marriage vows.

"To love honour and cherish" is also a marriage vow. There are great husbands and bad husbands. There are great wives and lousy wives. Wives that nag, complain and criticize are therefore breaking their vows. Cane 'em I say and sling them in prison...  

[gimme a break]

C'mon guys... adultery is a common reality around the world. It's not exclusive to asians or expats...

It's a breakdown in marriage between husband and wife.. be it communication, boredom, lack of attraction, etc etc....

Even if I've been married for 8 years to my husband and have two kids, I am on my toes 24/7. Never neglect your husbands or yourselves!

[Snotty]

Wondering Why - you referred to someone else as "YES literally for a maid like woman" - That alone would be enough to put me off you.

[Bagshot. Colonel]

Wondering Why, now let me say respectfully that you are way off the mark in your fundamentalist views and uncharitable remedies.

Yes indeed, if I may also suggest, the problem lies squarely with the "memsahibs" or "missies" who nurture unrealistic demands on a chap's time.

I mean a woman has her place. Unfortunately today most women do not know it!!

Wives are specialists in domestic matters and when they venture beyond those specific parameters they become lost and confused. This is a fact and you can read all about it in the Encyclopaedia - under "species or women" I believe.

Now we chaps need a bit of space especially after sunset.

Now my advice is for yo to get your head down (figuratively speaking, of course) and your back into your work and show a bit of respect for your better half.

There was a time when you ladies knew how to occupy yourselves with afternoon teas, bridge evenings etc.

However I fear today you are addicted to tv and the overly dramatic productions which disturb your natural temperaments.
What about that advertisement where a chap comes home from a game of golf and is greeted with unbridled violence? Where are the censors when you need them?
So may I recommed no tv.

And do help your husbands to relax and encourage them to step out a little more often.

Right. Thank you.

 

[mr b.]

OMG serious case of ASHF in this on HoD and I have never heard such bollocks spouted by WW - seems to make Goerge Bush seem and sound like a bleeding heart liberal.

An armchair lawyer rather than currency speculator now HoD?  I always find that the historical anomalies of English law are really quite interesting - As far as I am aware, under English law (the only jurisdiction on which I am qualified to comment) did you know until a couple of years ago adultery was a crime, but only in relation to the spouse of the monarch and the spouse of the heir to the throne... and the actual crime was that of high treason, so the punishment was to be hanged.  Arson in a naval dockyard was also high treason.  All that changed with the Human Rights Act.  

[Heart of Darkness]

Was just trying to be serious for a change It obvously doesnt suit me... Will revert to my customary cynicism and sarcasm forthwith

[I am woman]

<I mean a woman has her place>

on a pedestal

[Sentiment]

This is a beautiful sentiment....

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am,
when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, presented
to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat,
knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided,
since I was not busy with another patient,
I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the
doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his
sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage
in conversation.
I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this
morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to
he nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and
that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound,
I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was,
that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him.
"And you still go every morning, even though she
doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said,
"She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left.
I had goose bumps on my arm and thought,
"That is the kind of love I want in my life."

[dedication]

What a sad and yet lovely story - it really puts things in perspective.

My mother died 18 months ago having suffered with Multiple Sclerocis for many years.  She was completely wheelchair bound for the last 10 years of her life and my father, despite being in his late 70's at the time, provided her with constant care and attention which was both emotionally and physically draining.  Despite everything they still shared a joke and had a deep love and companionship with each other that was wondrous.  He was determined to make sure that she stayed in her own home and made many personal sacrifices to ensure it was possible.

Your story made me think about my own parents and reminded me that you don't just give up when the going gets tough...

[nice stories]

Glad to hear the touching stories of people who truly care and cared for each other throughout their lives. I suspect that if you both genuinely fall in love and marry because you believe both of your lives become better because you are together and not for other superficial reasons, you are able to get through any rough patches that occur.