The early months

[2kids]

I am due my 2nd child very shortly.  My first is now 3yrs old.  I have recently employed a maid.  

Now, what I would like to know is how to manage the situation when the baby is born.  Obviously I want to spend time with my toddler, but in the early days/weeks I know this will be difficult as I will be tired etc.  I am very concerned about him feeling jealous or left out, but I will involve him where I can e.g. helping fetch nappies etc.  

What is the best way to make sure that I spend time with him, attend to the baby and, catch up on sleep?  My maid is very good with my toddler but how should I divide my time?  Should I ask her to do the baby stuff like bathtime, nappy time etc?  Or should I do the baby stuff and let her take care of my toddler?

Whats worked for others?  Any advice would be appreciated.

[second timer]

I rarely slept in the day with either of mine so that wasn't a problem.  I found my 2 year old took to her new sister really well, but I think much of that is in her nature.  However, I never excluded her - she'd help with nappy changes, baths and pretty much everything apart from feeding!  

Feeding is a great time to get together with the older one and read a book or watch a bit of TV, plus, the baby will sleep much of the time and you can spend time with your 3 yr old.

I don't think it will be a problem, especially with a maid doing all the other stuff and of course there will be your husband when he's in - he can spend time with either child and free you up for the other one - take it in turns.

[Toddler]

Most siblings experience jealousy at some point, just remember that your toddler has been an only child for 3 years, your new baby will never have that experience and so won't miss it.  Your toddler probably will.   Lots of 'sidestream' attention is good - let them help with nappy changes, if they want to, but don't force it.  Talk to them and read to them while you are feeding.  Make sure they still get some 1:1 time with you, even 1/2 hour a day makes a huge difference.  But do not turn your toddler over to your maid and take over the baby yourself unless you want one very outcast feeling and jealous toddler who will play up no end.  Just my experience so far.