Am I the only one in step?

[If only.....]

...things are so simple. Great partner = No cheating. My best friend is married to a man she met 35 years ago when they were still married to other people. Fell in love at first sight despite average marriages with children on both sides. They are now grandparents with wonderful children who are supportive that they found someone who is more compatible. They are no sluts or cheaters. They are now in their 80s and completely in love and never strayed again. Sometimes couples grow apart and are comfortable to stay that way because of their children and then, they meet their soulmates. It happens.

Of course, the ones who are just plain dogs who chase every skirt in sight while still married and intending to remain married, they need to be newted. Being a European expat of Asian descent with a caucasian husband, there are people who think that my husband belongs to the dog category. No questions asked. Until, they see us as a family with a teenager. Well, then he is a respectable man while holding their breath waiting for him to glance at another woman. Just to proof a point. Living as an expat couple here is just so complex with the generalised views on the morals of local girls, middle-aged expat men and tyrannical expat wives. If these were all true, life would have been so much simpler.

[agathe]

Hi It is not only men who cheat. Have been married forever been happy but hubby has started to take me for granted. I met someone the last weekend and the sparks were intense. On one level I know if I am faithful then good things happen I do not rock the boat but I know if I do then I get a huge adrenalin rush that hub no longer gives me. To do or not do?

[If only.....]

agathe, noone can answer that question for you but you. As adults, we have learnt to weigh the pros and cons of things. Marriage is no differrent. Weigh what you might gain against what you will lose, and do the Math from there. Adrenalin rushes can be obtained from several other sources. If you are honest, it is not the adrenalin that you crave but the attention and the arousal that you no longer get from your spouse.

I remember what a divorce lawyer once said to me; that it is uncanny how couples spruce up and make themselves marketable again when they are at the verge of divorce or separtation. If only they were to do that while they are still married. Maybe, only maybe....If only it were so simple.