The Wisdom of Polygamy

[Burbage]

DR. Opinion,

Agree with you broadly. I was talking about instinctive behaviour, which is what every parent (well most parents) try to educate out of us from birth. However, instincts have a habit of come back to bite you when the marvellous brain that we possess is disabled by substances such as alcohol...

My opinion? Well I donh't know. I'm not sure if I even want one wife, never mind more. I think that it would be very difficult in western society, not only because of our customs of monogamy, but also due to the stronger individualism amongst women. That individualism hasn't developed in many parts of the world, so maybe polygamy would work there.

Can anyone countenance a woman marrying several husbands? That is also polygamy  

[MoniqueC]

It appears to me (after just reading the original article) that the main argument is that where a woman falls ill and cannot have sexual relations or do housework(?) or where she unable to have sex during 40 days after giving birth, or during menstruation (which may last for, horror of horrors, 10 days) that men, because of the hardship involved in not having sex and not being able to contain themselves for a short period of time can obtain another wife to relieve himself of this dreadful fate.   So he gets two wives on the basis that at least one is in working order whenever he feels like it.  

Hello??   All we are looking here are short periods of time… does this mean that man can’t hold out for 40 days without sex?  C’mon, that’s no excuse for another wife!  I mean “my wife just had a baby and I cant have sex with her for 40 days so I deserve another wife because I have no self control and have to shag something…”  

I can’t stop giggling.   What a dreadful argument!  Guys, what about a bit of self control here!    

OK, how about this then!   My husband is sick or away on business for 40 days so no sex for me.  I need sex.  Can’t control myself.  Have to have it and it’s not fair and against my rights as a woman that I can’t, especially given my physical requirement for regular sex that I am unable to control.   According to the article, providing I can afford another husband, the potential for lack of sex during that period will cause me such detriment that I deserve a second husband to fill the gap, so to speak because I cant be expected to go without sex for that long!   Brilliant!!     What a great idea…  C'mon girls lets go husband hunting!!!

[hellame]

Boys may not know about this, but if you stick a bunch of girls together in a house -- say like the dorms at uni -- their cycles tend to come together.

Four women having PMS at the same time.  And he's still not getting any during that time of the month becuase the back-ups are in the same state.  

Now THAT'S revenge.  

[This message has been edited by hellame (edited 25-04-2002).]

[NewKid]

Go for it Monique.....girls keep me in mind when you're hunting temporary replacement husbands    

[kes]

If a man can get 2 good weeks off a woman, I'd say he's on the right track.  The third week would be reserved for extreme PMS.  And he's off one week.

If gets another wife whose cycle is different than the first wife, I'd say he's a lucky man.  Problem solved.

[Zen]

LOL, hellame!!  

Anyway, my answer to the original post:

From a sociological standpoint, we need to remind ourselves that many societies do not follow the same Western standards. In other words, what is normal in one society would not be in another. So, to the Muslims, the above article would seem normal. Nothing shocking to them.

Furthermore, we're talking about a patriarchal society here, one that favours males. There is also that old attitude that menstruation is dirty...so maybe the men don't want to sleep with their wives then. But that is hardly a good reason to get more wives. I agree with Dr Opinion on this point: humans have evolved since primal times, and men can definitely restrain themselves. Or, if not, they can always j*rk off (to use a crude expression).

Furthermore, not all women want to become mothers. So what is this about the joys of motherhood? Some women would rather have their freedom and not be tied down to a squalling infant and have their conversation reduced to 'goo goo ga ga' and children's programs.

The article goes on to mention 'denying women partnership' and something about their not being able to restrain their sexual appetites. In the olden days, women were regarded as irresponsible and unable to take care of themselves. This article, by saying that women might resort to prostitution because their sexual needs are unfulfilled, is taking that same moral standpoint. As for denying women partnership, I would rather have one or two good gal pals than to have to share my hubby with three other women.

So, that would be my lame 3 1/2 cents worth, from the little I know of sociology.  

[This message has been edited by Zen (edited 06-05-2002).]

[mothergoose]

From what I've read, polygamy is practised mainly by the rich Muslims.  Poor muslim men do not have the means to support multiple wives and children.  Without drawing moral conclusions on whether polygamy is right or wrong, I venture to say that polygamy is or rather was rather a practical societal necessity for the Chinese a century ago -- only we call it concubinage rather than polygamy.  How else would a poor family in an predominantly agrarian, partriarchal society be able to support the daughters (deemed unproductive on the farmlands because women are weaker) if they were not sent to rich families as concubines or bonded servants?  The alternative, commonly practiced, was infanticide.  In a sense, the woman's family encouraged concubinage because it was assumed the the woman would get a better life in a rich man's home on top of the obvious benefit of alleviating the family of having another mouth to feed.  Of course, polygamy in China today is relegated to the very remote regions on the Mainland and regularly (not surprisingly) by the Muslim minorities.  Incidentally, polygamy, bigamy, polyandry have all been outlawed and written into Chinese statutes a few years back.

Does this same logic apply to Muslim societies?  I.e. Is there a sociological need for the practice to exist?  I am not convinced by the Sheikh's arguments on the male insatiable libido, unbalanced man/woman population, and the rather ridiculous assertion that men cannot do without sex for 10 days -- which, if it were true, would support the notion that buggery is a normal way of life for incarcerated Muslim men.  In spite of these unconvincing male-chauvisnistic arguments, I wonder if there are some overriding social benefits to continuing the practice which we may have overlooked because of our Western sensibilities.

Personally, I like the 4 wives concept...it makes playing Mahjong so much easier  

[Cantab]

Well, you can't have the cake and eat it too.  Four wives are great, but what about four mother-in-laws?