This expat locals dating thing

[Burbage]

This topic keeps coming up, and I though I'd start a thread here, so that the other message *** can remain uncluttered and unabused by the unregistered (at least those who find registering too much of a hassle).

I'd like to say something that might explain why it keeps coming up.

I've been in Singapore for more than three years. I'm single, as most people here know. There is one single factor that really makes life tedious for me here, more than any other.

There are not enough women from my own culture here.

I know that you girls say that there are plenty and although statistics don't really explain this thing try this.

There are maybe a couple of hundred thousand elegible singaporean girls here.

There are maybe a couple of thousand elegible Western girls here.

Now let's say that one in 20 girls I meet I find attractive, for all reasons, not just looks. Actually the rate would probably go out to one in 30 for local girls due to cultures differences etc.

That would mean that I have to meet a lot of Western girls to find a few that I might be attracted to.

Add to that the chance of those girls not finding me attractive, then I have to meet many more western girls.

In three and half years in Singapore I think I've met around thirty elegible Western girls.

Of course I'm much more likely to meet an elegible Singapore girl, as many Western men do. That's just because the odds are stacked that way.

It just doesn't work out. And believe me, it is so frustrating. I think that a lot of this angst and agro, which is totally unnecessary, is due to this frustration.

I can equally see how the fact that western guys more often find a Singapore girl is very frustrating for western women.

By Western in this message I mean anyone (of any race or religion) raised in the North america/europe/australasia zones.

So the reason it keeps coming up must be because I'm not the only one who finds this to be the single biggest disadvantage of living in Singapore.

[Fat Bob]

So, Burbage, you can't find any lass to drink 20 pints of guiness with you and then do a little gig around the bar? Surprising that

But I agree with you. It comes up again and agian. And you're right, it is easier to meet local girls as there are more of them! Simple numbers really.

err...what else is there to discuss? Oh, sod it, let's do it over a beer!

[Junebug]

Western women have the same problem - there are in comparison fairly few single Western men in Singapore. It gets even more difficult if you have specific ideas on qualities (i.e. honesty, stability...) you are looking for.

I think this topic is frustrating for all involved as Western men say that there are not enough Western women available, Eastern men say that many of the Eastern women end up with Western men and the Western women say that there are not enough Western men available and those that are available go with Eastern women.

There is no use getting upset about it. I love Singapore for all it has to offer. Even in Germany and in New York I was mainly single - as in both places I always felt like a foreigner. As I did not study or work in a large company it was difficult to meet  people. Here at least it is easy to meet people through the messageboard, even if you work, like I do, on your own.

Who knows, maybe 2002 and the Year of the Horse will be a lucky year.  

[Burbage]

It's not just a question of being single for me. I'm not too unhappy with it. I'll wait for the right girl to come along.

What I'd like to be doing is spending more time with single women and there aren't that many around. I don't have any objection to married women per se, but they do tend to talk about husband and kids which is a conversation I'm just not interested in.

Why single women? Well, I have enough male mates to form a small army. Any of you girls want to meet some more men I'd be only too happy to introduce you.

[Junebug]

Burbage - single western men living in Singapore?  

I would definitely be interested in an introduction of sorts...

[Burbage]

Junebug, I'll see what I can arrange  

Now Fat Bob, you were talking about beer. Any suggestions?

[Ceirbh]

fat bob this lass could drink 20 pints and do more than a jig around the table i tell u!!!!! burbage that was a very deep and thought provoking post from u....u're defo not a typical irish man!!!!! rarhhhh!!!lets start in muddys on sat nite for the 41st b-day party and let the carnage begin!!!!!!!! drinks at dublin prices i'm told (5 euro!??!?!!?!?)....

[Burbage]

Ceirbh,

your "!"key seems to have a bit of a problem. Have you dropped some marmalade on it?

Muddy's. Wish I could, but I'll be out of town  

[Norie]

Burbage,I'm beginning to wonder what am I -Western or Eastern??? Made and born in Europe,raised for 7yrs in Singapore,moved to Australasia,now back in Singapore close to 4yrs..alas holds a Singapore passport. I've covered the zones,what am I???  

What is definition of 'own culture'? Irish culture or the likes of a Westerner..which can be a tad different depending on where a person come from.

As FB put it,sod it,let's have a beer when you're back.. ok, I'll have my gin tonic!!

[Burbage]

Hi Norie,

Ah, perhaps I should have said that someone with a "working knowledge" of where I come from would be the easiest for me to get on with. Obviously this means the people who come from where I come from, or places that are similar in outlook. But it would also mean people who have deep experience of that culture as you would have.

Believe me, it's hard enough trying to adapt to the culture differences between me and, say, a french girl, never mind trying to deal with the differences between me and a mongolian girl for example.

Anyway, beer is the way to go. I'll be here on Friday evening if anyone wants to meet up for a jar. It'll all make sense after ten pints.

Shall we put up a message on the social board or shall we keep it here?

[Ceirbh]

burbage thats a pity u'll miss sat as their previous b-day partayyyyyyys have been carnagious!!!!!!!! yikers i still havent cleaned my ! key!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so where on the emerald isle do u hail from urself?  i normally hit molly malones on a  friday nite so if u're on for it pop in!!!!!

[Norie]

Burbage,ahh now tis clearer altho amusing. Believe me you,I have difficulty understanding a Chinese guy,not going to be ambitious and go for the Mongolians.  

Wonder if anyone actually read outside the social board?? I like it here tho,feels errr..serene    

Come on down to Doug's bar this eve,I'll buy you a beer,heck make that a pint!

[Burbage]

HI Norie,

I'll maybe wander along and watch the Mahjong for a while this evening. It's something to do. I have to meet up with a friend at nine though.

Ceirbh,

I haven't been to Molly's for a long time. Maybe it's about time I went along to see how things are going there. What sort of time do you normally go? I'll mail you my phone number if you're on for it.

[Bruno]

Interesting how the vaunted Talking Point section has ended up as one man's whimpering about women and the usual chit-chat about getting drunk.

Could use some unregistered users, methinks.

[Burbage]

Who's whimpering?