Not sure if this is supposed to go under the entertainment section but since it has political content and since I think a lot of people here need to lighten up a little, here it is. Quite accurate too if I may add.
BM, feel free to move it.
If a fly falls in a cup of coffee:
Englishman: Throws his cup away and walks out.
Australian: Drinks the coffee with the fly in it, he is used to them.
American: Takes the insect out, abuses the waiter verbally, puts in three tablespoons of sugar and half a pint of imitation cream and drinks the coffee. Along with it he eats three doughnuts, two cookies
and five slices of cheesecake.
Takes the fly out, cuts it in half, eats half of it and saves the other half for tomorrow. He sells the coffee as soup.
Chinese: Eats the insect and sells the coffee to the highest bidder.
Japanese: Make eating flies in coffee hip and soon everyone would be drinking coffee with insects in them. They paint their JAL aircraft with pictures of flies swimming in coffee. Miniature fly-in-coffee toys soon flood the market.
German: Upon discovering the fly in his coffee, the German sells the coffee and the fly to a starving African whilst only renting him the cup. He then watches as the African drinks the coffee when the German exclaims that this behavior is disgusting and will never happen in Germany as Germans are civilized. This he provides as further proof that Germans are just superior.
Swiss: He drinks hot chocolate and turns his nose to all these inferior coffee drinkers fly or no fly.
Dane: Apologizes to the waiter for having discovered the fly in his otherwise great cup of coffee, pays for it, tips the waiter, murmurs something under his lip about the migrant worker in the kitchen and goes next door to a bar to buy a beer.
Swede: Upon hearing about the poor conditions in Africa that has reduced their fellow world citizens to drinking fly infested coffee (see 6. German), opens its borders to African refugees who come in droves. The Swede then employs the African to make coffee and pays him in flies. Gradually through cultural infusion the Swede develop a taste for fly infested coffee as drunk by Africans. With Africans straining the fly resources of the nation, they come down hard on the refugees, fire them from their jobs and treat them like animals.
Finn: Drinks vodka, gets drunk, goes to another bar to drink some more vodka.
Italian: Cures the fly in olive oils and then eats it, drinks the coffee and complains that Italian coffee and Italian flies are better tasting.
Mexican: Eats the fly but refuses to drink the coffee as it may interfere with his after breakfast, pre brunch siesta.
Colombian: Upon discovering the fly in the coffee, he protests under his lip, is over-heard by the guy sitting at the next table who turns out to be a government secret agent and gets the coffee drinker arrested. A journalist hears about the arrest and writes a damning report against the government in his leftist paper. People reading the report refuse to drink coffee anymore. This destroys the coffee industry in Colombia and has ripple effects elsewhere in the economy. With a severely weakened economy riots break out. The government pleas for calm but cannot prevail. One night an air force general takes over critical government buildings and the Colombian national radio and television and announces a coup d’etat and the arrival of a new government. Calm returns and people go back to cafes. The next morning a man having ordered a coffee at a café discovers a fly in his coffee.
Turk: He announces that he is also a coffee drinker like his fellow “Europeans” and therefore should be admitted to the European Union.
Indian: Discovers the dead fly, declares two days of mourning for the loss of life, goes home and prays to Ganesh. He then dries the body of the fly and sells it as herbal medicine to unsuspecting Western tourists. With the proceeds he buys a ticket to America, gets employed as an engineer, invests wisely and in two weeks time becomes one of the top 100 richest men in the world.
Russian: Discovers the fly, traces its origin back to the USA, exclaims that although the two countries have amicable relations he does not appreciate the USA tainting his coffee. He then sells the coffee to North Korea, puts his fur coat and hat on, drives his Cadillac to the Red Square McDonalds and orders a coffee-to-go and tries to get home in time for the Jerry Springer Show.
Palestinian: Accuses Israel for having thrown the fly into his coffee Calls for all Muslim brothers to unite against the heathen Jew.
Blows up the waiter who served the coffee with a grenade.
Sells the tainted coffee and the fly to the Lebanese who will then sell the coffee to the Americans and the insect to the Chinese.
With the proceeds the Lebanese gets a fresh cup of Italian espresso coffee from an English supplier that has plantations in Columbia and a grenade from a German company. Sells the grenade to the Palestinian
and the coffee to the Italian and in the process the Englishman, the German and the Lebanese all make handsome profits.
7. Israeli: Accuses the Palestinian for throwing insect into his coffee and Iran for having supplied the fly. Raids the West Bank, kills a few Palestinians but strongly denies having done so.
Engages on a campaign of propaganda to relate the issue to violence against
Jews and the holocaust. Seeks and receives sympathy from the USA.
Another spate of holocaust movies are made. Rich American Jews buy him tens of cups of coffee. Senators Feinstein and Lieberman
jump into action and convince the US Administration to provide an interest free loan of $10 Billion to Israel so they may develop fly in coffee protection systems. The Israelis use this money to manufacture weapons including "fly-in-coffee-throwers". Visas for entry into the US is denied most middle-easterner particularly Iraqi and Libyan students. The US government condemns all Muslims for their "fly terrorism".
[This message has been edited by nosy (edited 05-02-2002).]
