Crabs

[Joseph27]

Has anyone got a sure fire way to cook crabs.  I once tried in Singapore but when I put the crab in boiling water the thing was obviously in extreme pain and his limbs seemed to fall off in the struggle.

I am now living in Aus and I really miss being able to go for crab at reasonable price so I want to cook it.  Any suggestions for a chilli crab recipe would be greatly appreciated

[Ex-Calif]

If your live crabs came tied up with string, leave the string on. Make sure you have a tall pot, not too wide, with a lid.  Drop 'em in and hold on to the lid.

Another preparation is sauteed. Split in the middle with a big cleaver and section the legs.  Plenty of butter in a big iron pan - seasonings to taste - yum

[Old Mike]

put them in the freezer for an hour first.
There are two theories,
Either the cold puts them to sleep and they never know they are being boiled, or they are so glad to be warm again that they die happy.

[Joseph27]

Thats funny - I will try that next time

[Languid Larry]

J27 - you back in Oz for good now?
no more S'pore for you?

[Mum says]

Use a chopstick and jab hard at the underside of the crab where the shell is soft. This will kill the crabs without them letting go of their bowel contents. Wash the crabs thoroughly using a scrub.

Steam the crabs in preboiled water for 15 minutes. Crack the shell with a mallot after that.

Steamed crabs are very healthy and you get to taste the sweetness of the meat without any seasoning required.

[SPCA]

You guys should be reported for cruelty. Think of the poor crab for Christ's sake

[To SPCA]

Get a life!  dear god, what is the world coming to?

[More SPCA]

I think he SPCA has done a great job educating humans how to be nicer to animals.  

Where they break down is in educating animals to be nicer to each other.  I'd like to see the SPCA work harder to educate lions and tigers about alternative meal choices to zebra.  I'd like to see them work on lion seals having an alternative diet to penguins.

In fact maybe they should kill themselves, get an audience with God, and go over this whole food chain thing once and for all.

Clearly she is fallable and got that bit wrong.  On the seventh day instead of resting she should have installed these bloody great feeding troughs with water and pellets.  Oh, wait.  That's that mana from heaven thing, right?  Great, when the next delivery arrives I'll quit eating everything below me on the evolutionary, dietary scale. Until then all greenies stick a sock in it.

[From God]

Great post "More SPCA." You are the first of my creation to figure it out.  It was definitely in the plan.

Went out clubbing on Saturday night after one hell of a tough 6 days, slept in late with a bloody great hangover, met this bloke though... But I digress...

Imagine my horror when Michael came in and said, "Lord!  Wake up! The animals are eating each other!"  I mean I just about died.  Lucifer rung me up to gloat and by then it was too late.  After Adam ate the apple it could have been controlled.  I had that whole sin and guilt thing to rely on, but when birds, my coolest creation, started eating the putrid carcasses of dead buffalo I knew it was ruined.

I felt like erasing the whole thing like an etch-a-sketch but what good would that do?  I kept on for a while, did a cool flood thing, sent my son down to see if he could sort it, but that didn't work out, they ended up sticking spears in him.  And on top of that they created a ritual of eating him for f#cks sake!

Lucifer always had a thing for my creations and toys so I eventually sold it to him at cost.  Worst deal I ever made but he's been having fun with it.

I'm doing much better with model trains...