Worst Airline Service

[ene_gal]

Just received this through email and thought it would be rather apt on this thread.  Enjoy  

A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous, she must be a Flight attendant.  But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, ooh sh1t, she doesn't work for Delta.

A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list.

Next he tried "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"

This time the woman barked back at him "Man, what the f--k do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said..."ahhh, Qantas".

*LOL*

[Advance]

Brilliant,

That sums it up neatly!

A good laugh....check out these acronyms if you haven't already.

AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful or Abort Abort
AI (Air India)         - Allah Informed
ALITALIA               - Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival
                       - Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) - Better On A Camel
                       - Bloody Old and Careless
CA (China Airlines)    - Choose Another
CAAC (Chinese Avation Airl.Comp.) - Chinese Airline Always Canceled
(Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) - China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
DELTA                  - Don't Even Leave The Airport
                       - Don't Ever Leave The Airport
                       - Don't Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs ?)
                       - Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
EAL (Eastern)          - Eastern's Always Late
ELAL                   - Every Landing Always Late
JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
LOT (Polish Airlines)  - Last One There
                       - Luggage On Tarmack (wave 'bye!)
LUFTHANSA              - Let Us **** The Horses, As No Stewardesses Available
PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
PAL (Phil. Airlines)   - Philippines Always Late
PAN AM                 - Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) - Please Inform Allah
                       - Panic In Air
                       - Perhaps I Arrive
QANTAS                 - Queer And Nasty Types As Stewards
SABENA (Belgium)       - Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again
                       - Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) - Stay At Home, Stay Alive
SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) - Sweet And Sexy
                       - Sex And Service
SAA                     - **** Around Africa
SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) - So Incredible, Aah
TACA                   - Take A Chance Airline
TAP (Portuguese Airl.) - Take Another Plane
TWA (Transworld Airl.) - Travel Without Arrival
                       - Try Walking, Asshole
                       - Try Walking Again
                       - The Worst Airline
                       - Took Wrong Airline
                       - Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective)
                       - Travel With Arabs
                       - Terrorist Welcome Aboard
                       - Terrorists With Arms
                       - Teenie Weenie Airlines
                       - Traveling Without Air
                       - Tiny Wings Aflappin'!!!!!

[abc]

Thanks, fun reading for flight nerds like me.
Let me also give very positive credit to Malaysian, who have reasonably good service and I don't remember big crashes in the last several years, despite the very severe cash strap. They haven't damaged/lost my luggage either. (LH/UA and BA have done  it, BA many times).

[foodie]

i know this is about bad airlines but i think emirates is pretty good value for money. food is quite decent and seats are definitely bigger than SQ.

[bunnychow]

Advance - Loved it- LOL!!!!!

[Technogeek]

Never flown Malaysian so I can't comment. I remember though that a Malaysian aircraft into Heathrow had to be taken out of the stack because they hadn't put enough fuel in it to last out a normal holding pattern. Hmm thrifty, maybe the weight saving allows a longer seat pitch in the back.

Never flown Thai (in the back anyway) but didn't Thaksin famously note" "if I wasn't prime minister I wouldn't fly Thai, they suck".

Theres nothing wrong with the back of either SQ or CX planes - the seat pitch is OK (good in a SQ 777, OK in everything else) the food (like everyone elses) is crap but at least the drinks are free and you get a reasonable selection of films.

------------------
Regards
Tgeek

[Charlie]

Worst service has to be.....easyjet! Cant believe they actually wanted to charge me for a drink.

[Adders]

Depends on the age of the plane and the attitude of the staff. Having said that, had the worst experience on Quantas last week to Sydney, and one of the best with Malaysia Airlines from the UK last month. BA was great from Sydney to Singapore, but lousey from UK to US. So hard to generalise really.

[Joseph27]

Experiences

Qantas - Msotly Bad. Ladies all seem to be former models with massive egos and very temperamental.  Guys usually gay but nice - much better getting a guy because at least you can flirt and get extra stuff

BA - Flown only once - very good service - friendly and very professional. I became very sick on board and they were so professional.  Always treat my BA customers very well now.

Air Malaysia - Not bad.  Friendly enough - the only problem was going via KL which added hours to the flight.

Gulf Air - not bad again - had a full thing of seats to myself - got drunk and missed dinner - kinda p*ssed me off.

Pakistan Air - No way - not again.

Thai - friendly and at least i got to have the beer i missed out on in Pakistan

Merpati - Now gone - wasnt bad. I used to smoke in those days so i spend the flight up the back smoking and drinking beer.  Quickest flight ever.

Sempati - Indonesian pilots have good take offs but the landings are always worrying - they seem to over shoot and then compensate with massive breaking.  Scary

Ansett - Always loved their international flights - so professesional - nice food - very friendly.  Domestic sucked until it only cost me $AUS 60 to go to Sydney then it was good.

SIA - girls are hot but artifical - you know through the smile they have no substance.  

Now I will always stick with BA - they went the extra mile for me and that will keep me coming back

[exqantasfantoo]

As an Aussie, regrettably I have to agree with the negative comments about QF.  Flown back to Sydney 6 times in last 9 months on a combination of QF/BA (both economy and new BA World Traveller plus)and BA wins hands down every time for :

Service - BA staff seem to go out of their way to help and are pleasant to deal with - and offer apologies if they don't have what you want etc.

Interior of plane - QF economy is a joke.  Seats falling apart, broken armrests, dirty cabins - on my last flight one passenger had to fly with the seat in front literally resting on his knees as the flight was full...and no apology forthcoming from the staff, just a shrug, too bad attitude! QF really need to spend some $ to upgrade their fleet - it's been talked about for the last 3 years, yet no visible progress as far as I can tell.

As for BA World Traveller Plus - highly recommend for longer flights as it's comfortable and much cheaper than business class.  Same food menu as economy, with better legroom and just 31 seats is the cabin - good for us longer legged people!  

In business class, SQ, BA, Cathay all score highly - even QF was good from SIN -UK(although that was 2001)....

So if you are flying QF my advice is to get the BA op flights if possble.

[No Frills]

Well, that's because a  ticket on Easy jet costs 15 pounds plus 1 pound tax, as opposed to BA costing 150 + pounds for equivalent flight- what do you expect for your money ?
(water IS free by the way!)

[Charlie]

I know - only joking.

[ellectra]

Air France - Never Again!

"Thank you for flying with Air France. Hope you've learned your lesson."

[Wes]

I wonder why Emirates is able to beat SQ in some of the years as the Best Airline of the year. I ever travelled with Emirates and their air-steward especially the male are very snobbish. Yes I am in the economy class buy I too pay my grand to get a seat and do not expect such poor services.

During the flight, I ask the steward for apple, he replied and say:"no apple". then I saw some red coloured juice on his tray and asked: what that then?" He replied :"Apple juice". All rite, if he had misunderstood in the first place i want a APPLE (not juice) he can politely tell me there is no apple but I have juice. Stupid people....

I can only say if you are a chinese on board a Emirates flight, you will feel that you are being discriminated. That my opinion at least.

[no chinese]

Luckily I am not Chinese.