sydney or singapore

[money or love???]

hiyall,

being in a local package (which means no perks, just your salary!!), and having 2 school kids in an international school which is about $35,000 per annum, and a little toddler, we are thinking that i will go back to sydney with our 3 children and my husband stay here and just share a flat to save money!

our big expenses our the tuition fee's and condo which both equates to $85,000 that is coming out of my husband's pay which really hurts financially, but his coy wouldn't budge or help out with the schooling.

has anyone here, have left their husband  to stay and save money and how did you both cope?

i am very hesistant to be away from him and not even talking about the children yet, but the reality is we cannot afford to live here anymore!!

any advice!!

thanks,

[go local?]

Just a suggestion on my part, there is always the option of keeping the family together in SG and at lower costs! For instance, transferring into local schools or moving to a cheaper apartment. Family being together should come first rather than having all the luxuries in my view.

[Love and Family of course]

Hi..I have recieved this today from a friend... that came to my mind after reading your post... I agree 100% with it..this is why I paste it here.
Maybe it can help you see what you need... ??

   ""We convince ourselves that life will be better
after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough, and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that
our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

  It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to
be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,
special enough to spend your time with - and remember that time waits for no one.

                           So, stop waiting...
                           Until your car or home is paid off.
                           Until you get a new car or home.
                           Until your kids leave the house.
                           Until you go back to school.
                           Until you finish school.
                           Until you lose 10 lbs.
                           Until you gain 10 lbs.
                           Until you get married.
                           Until you get a divorce.
                           Until you have kids.
                           Until you retire.
                           Until summer..
                           Until spring.
                           Until winter.
                           Until fall.
                           Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be
happy.  Happiness is a journey, not a destination. """

[Me2]

You listening to Mel Gill too ?

Me too.

[M&Ms]

Hi,

We were in the same position and did just what you describe.  Realised that we can save 7-8K per month by me + kids living in Sydney, hubby working in Singapore & sharing flat.  I was at same time looking for work and that exact sum was offered to me.  Decided that rather than work in Singapore, we can live in Sydney (without me working) and gain lifestyle. I firmly believe Sydney (or anywhere Oz) is a healthier environment for kids than Singapore.

Decided that we would live in two countries & finally make those savings we had planned for the past four years in Singapore.

It has it's plusses (financial ones - definitely) and minuses.  

Email me & I'll be happy to tell of our experiences.

MM

[Tongue n cheek]

That's a tough one, but thanks for the lesson.

We will continue to use condoms for the forseeable future, far cheaper then having little ones.

Either you send the kinds to local school to bring the costs in line with your husbands after tax salary or you get a job here or move to Australia. I think there your only viable choices.

Personally, I'd op for keeping the family toghether and sending the kids to local schools. They'll learn Mandarin as well and there is really no problem with the local schools.

If you split the family up and your husband's staying with a mate then I'd be worried that's the beiginning of the end and he starts shagging around cos you are not here and he gets bored and hits four floors.

Whatever it takes really to keep the family together - you can achieve the costs savinds u desire by sending the kids to local schools.

Good luck.

[Joseph27]

I want to start a family next year however as far as I can tell you cant send you kids to local schools unless you are a PR.  That leaves the international school and that just totally sucks - its a stupid price for the same standard.  

If i stay in Singapore long enough then its PR status for sure.  After primary school then maybe i would look at something else for my kids. My former MD had 2 in the international school and the cost as you said it just stupid - $35K.  

[money or love???]

thanks to all your replies!!

but i think it is easier said than done for us to send the kids to the local school, being too regimental, mandarin speaking, just a very different environment for them to be there, and just how being  singaporeans are!!!

anyway, hoping we can get another posting back to sydney!!

[Lamington]

I can't understand why you don't all go home as I am sure your husband can find a job in Sydney?

Why compromise the quality of your life and also have the family split in 2 countries.

In the end, you keep 2 households and I am sure by the time you do the sums, the costs will outweigh the benefits and I don't just mean the financials - think of quality of life, schooling, sanity etc.

[Variety is the spice]

I imagine there will be a lot of temptation for your husband to sample some local delights if you leave him here on his own.