maidless

[mango]

Are there any other ex-pat wives out there that are managing without a maid.

I lived in the UK until recently and I have brought up my children single-handed with the occasional help from a very busy husband.  Now I find myself confronted with the 'maid situation'.  I seem to be under some considerable pressure to obtain a maid even though there are now only two of us.  Who is putting this pressure on me?  Well, some of my ex-pat friends sure, but mostly my Asian women friends.

Are there other women out there in my position and, if so, how did they deal with it?

Regards

[PhilM]

Mango the vast majority of couples never had a maid before coming to Singapore; however they end up having a Maid because:-

1. The Company pays for it.
2. They can afford it and it frees them up to do other things.
3. Like you they are pressurised into getting a maid by others.

There are good points and bad points about having a maid - there are endless posts on this board discussing this, so I will not reiterate the arguements here. All I will say is if you are going to have a Maid make sure it is you and your husband who make the decision for good reasons, and not as the result of pressure from others.

[J. Taylor]

Mango, I lived in the "maid environment" with just my hubby and I for a number of years in the middle East. I always evaded the question as to why I never had one by saying that I was looking into it, after a while people gave up. Now living in S'pore and with a 6 month old son I still get the same question and still give the same answer. There is no need to feel guilty about getting a maid if you wish, it will give you more time to enjoy the delights that S'pore has to offer.

[Caroline]

I guess for many people its a novelty. Having been brought up with 3 to 4 servants, I now prefer not to have a maid - but I do employ a cleaner to do a blitz clean once a week (about 3 hours). Its so wonderful NOT to have other people in my house all the time.

[mj]

Lily writes:

There you can dream but here you can actually get first class nannies and housekeepers to make your life a breeze - for peanuts, by the standards of your country.

I find this quite amusing as most of your posts on this subject - and indeed I've only ever see you post on this subject - are damning maids, accusing western expats as being too soft on them, scoffing at people who are happy with their helpers and recently calling your maid greedy for eating her rice with bread.

[Mark D]

If there are only 2 of you I am sure you would need a part-time maid at best. We have one for 3 hours on Tues and Fri and this is more than adequate to clean the place and do all our ironing.

If you had a FT maid I suspect you'd be paying her to sit around all day while you're at work. Not only that, you're unecessarily running the risk of becoming one of the "maid disaster" stories we hear about on this board.

For families with Kids I can understand the need for a FT maid if both parents are working, but for others (other than the terminally lazy) a PT is surely enough.

[manu]

We are working parents with one 7-years old girl and we have a part time maid. She works mon-fri about 3.5 hours. This is ideal solution for us, because we don't want "extra" persons in our home and our family doesn't "produce" so much work.

Being in Spore about 2 months now I also recognise the "presure" to have FT maid. "Have you already a maid?" It's usually the first question asked by expat. OK, maybe it's small talk but still....

[Boston Family Sing. bound]

Mango,
We are a family of 5 and we don't employ a maid.  I was asked a lot when we first got here but haven't heard much about it lately.  Maybe you just have to wait them out.  The figure I heard for a maid is closer to S1000/mo once you consider the foreign worker levy, health care, food, and given the thread today, toileties and their wage. I find my house crowded enough with all of us without adding another human being.  I'd HAVE to spend a lot of time at the club just to get away from the hub-bub.  We have considered getting a part-timer, no decision yet.  
Good Luck

[Maidless in Singapore]

Whether you choose to have a maid or not is your own personal decision and you should not feel any "peer group" pressure to have one, particularly if you are not comfortable with the thought of having another person in your home and being totally responsible for that person.  

It seems that for every "good" maid story I hear half a dozen "bad" maid stories (just look at some past threads on this Board!).  I decided right from the start not to have a full time maid.  Instead I have a lovely girl who comes in once a week and does my ironing and cleans the house. If I need extra help she is happy to come along and assist at bbqs or parties. It is an arrangement that suits us both.  

I don't find any of the other household chores I do so onerous that I need someone else to do them.  I personally couldn't bear having another person in the house and I wouldn't know how to keep her occupied and anyway I hate living in a totally perfect house (boring people have tidy houses!) and the maid's room is full of our junk!

Like I said, it is a personal decision.  Perhaps your friends are putting the pressure on you as justification for their own decision to have a maid (just a thought).  It may also be a cultural thing - in Asia it is accepted practice to have a maid, where I come from (Australia) it is quite foreign to our psyche!  Most of my (Australian) friends do not have full time maids.

[Mita]

Coming from an Asian country where having maids is not a big deal, i find the whole western debates about hiring domestic help hard to understand.It seems to be almost a political issue ,often laden with guilt. Well,I digress here.......
To get to the real ques.......hiring a maid it purely a matter of covenience.If u feel that a maid will value adds to yr life , give u free time etc, go ahead and hire one.
If on the other hand u feel that the cons (loss of privacy,added responsibility etc)outweigh the pros, DO NOT give in to pressure.After all its your family that will have to deal with the problems if and when they arise.

[Right On Mita]

You hit the nail on the head. Different strokes for different folks. It's your family, do what suits you. Must admit I find it funny that so many are critical of us with full-time maids while they employ p-t maids illegally.