We don't fit back in in Holland

[Böser Onkel]

I would like to say back home quality of life IS generally lower. All the said is true for my home country as well. And we experience the same effect of local friends when we make fun of Germany.

You are not alone.

[Cloggie]

Boser Onkel: why don't we all meet up, and emigrate to Australia? We can set up an ex-Europeans-village, while our kids grow up to be true Australians. . Or do Australians have the same problems? The taxes surely can't be worse than in Holland: we pay 62%.

[bunnychow]

Boser and Cloggie

Understand whre you are coming from.  When I make fun of Canada they don't take it too well either.  Some of the biggest flamers I get on this board are other Canadians who can't take a joke or one iota of criticism about dear Canada.

As for the yelling mother that Cloggie mentioned, it just goes to prove that although everyone on this board likes to complain about their maid and the problems they have with them, sometimes a maid can bring you a bit of relief, relax you a bit and make you a better parent.  It depends how YOU CHOOSE to use the maid.

I've always realized what a great place Singers is so my plan is to stay for as long as possible.  I think the advice about taking another expat contract is good, and you would be surprised at how portable and adaptable kids are.  I know lots of great friendly, smart expat kids.   Can't say much for their parents though  

Life is short - don't waste it being unhappy.

[This message has been edited by bunnychow (edited 24-11-2002).]

[Dusseldorf]

I know how you feel. My experience is quite the opposite of yours...

I lived in SG all my life and after getting married, my hubby decided we should go to Germany. Was happy to broaden my horizon and adapt to a new culture;but in fact disaster awaits......
Whatever you mentioned happens in my course of living here too and after one year I still do not feel attached to anything here......

I wrote once abt a year ago about the difficulties an Asian would face in Germany on this board but most of the expats didn't really give good advice......

But anyway I hope and plan to go back within the next two years........SG here I come!!  

[realize]

I also came to realize that whenever I will move back (actually forward) to my country I will reach out much more to people coming from abroad. Through my own experience I sort of know now how it feels to settle in a new environment. Before I was never aware and I didn't pay much attention to newcomers. People in general don't know what you're going through which is then understandable.

[Addadude]

Sadly, once you become an expat, you always will be an expat. Even when you return to your country of origin. In my case, I moved from Dublin to London back in '89. After living in London for 3 years and despite fairly frequent visits back home, Dublin became a 'foreign place' for me. When I finally returned home to Dublin to live and work, I found that it took me a year to feel 'at home'. Then I moved to Singapore and after 9 years here, Dublin is a VERY foreign place for me. I actually feel more comfortable here.

In many ways you are now an expat living in Holland. You have to go through a learning curve again which is made all the more difficult by the fact that you feel that you should already know the place and feel perfectly at home. The only answer is to give it time. Put all your Asian experiences behind you and focus on the present. The people you meet in Holland won't be interested in how it was in Asia. Take it day-by-day just like you did when you first came to Asia. You'll adapt in time. Good luck.

[Cloggie]

Once an expat..that's true. I am going to organize a reunion soon for all the Dutchies I met in various parts of the world that are living here now. I know most of them have some trouble with life here. One couple has just moved to Africa and another is looking for a new posting. I can understand Dusseldorf, for her it must be even harder. But what will you think of SG when you come back?
Actually the reason we left Singapore had nothing to do with Singapore, we were just tired of being "foreigners/expats"', of making new friends and losing them again, which was especially painful for our children. If I ever move again to a new country it would have to be for good and I would want my children to assimilate completely. I was only half-joking when  I mentioned Australia.

[Böser Onkel]

Hi Duesseldorf,

would like to get in contact with you.
I am a German but wife is from Singapore. We are living in Köln... Only 35km away. By the way, we visit quite frequent one of the cineas there.

Hurrray...  

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