Can I survive without a maid?

[Gerri]

I've followed with interest the postings about how families have coped with less than satisfactory domestic help and to be truthful, it has put me off having a maid when we arrive in S'pore next year. The only problem is that my husband and I will both be working and we will need care for our child,(then nearly two).
I would appreciate hearing from any other families in this situation, who cope without a maid. How do you do it? Is it possible?
Thanks!

[Susie Homemaker]

It's completely possible.

If you were in your home country (or wherever), you would still have to make arrangements for the care of your child while you are both working. The only difference between "here" and "there" is that live-in arrangements are accessible.

As for the problems, just remember that this is the kind of forum that encourages people to share their warnings more than their jubilation. It's not the fault of the site, it's just that an open forum, for airing our sad stories, chiefly anonymously, is often highly welcomed. Most of us would not tell these stories at cocktail parties because it would sound silly coming out of our mouths (my goodness, our maid, she washed reds and whites together, what WAS she thinking).

But never mind about that. Your post will incite plenty of criticism from those who believe it's inhumane to have someone wash your undies or whatever while your child is napping.

So take it with a grain of salt. It's not all a complete nightmare with a live-in helper! I have had a few 'situations' of my own but at the end of the day I'm a working mom and had to sort something out. I now have a great helper and have completely forgotten all the nonsense I had to go through before I found someone who was a great fit!

[Ken]

Dear Gerri

Can you survive without domestic helper?  I am sure you can.  However, having a good helper can really make a difference in your quality of life.  Having a maid is one luxury that most have no difficulty adjusting to.

We have all heard about all kinds of horror stories about problems with maids but, quite often, that is only one side of the story.

My family and I have been truly blessed by our maid.  As we are relocating overseas next year, you can email me at ken30@hotmail.com should you wish to interview our maid in person or just hear from my wife about her own experience.

Regards
Ken

[Karl]

You hear horror stories, but you do not have to star in one. As an employer you can minimise your woes if you define your relationship as a business relationship. The maid is doing all those things (cooking, babysitting, etc) for you not because she loves you, but because she wants her salary. And you in turn give her money, a nice room to sleep in and better food than she can afford not because you love her but because she makes your life a little more comfortable.

In a business arrangement, if the buyer of a product is not getting what she is paying for, she can always bring her business elsewhere. She might patronise a different supermarket. In the same way, if your maid is not doing what she is paid to do, you can alway replace her.

Remember maids are human. Sometimes they may be tired from some unusual exertion; such as when you entertained at home the day before. Then you might be more understanding if she appears somewhat less energetic the next day.

But if she continues to be lethargic, you have good reason to set her straight. If you think it is not nice to check your maid because she is an adult and you do not want to embarass her, she might continue doing those things that irritate you - blissfully ignorant that she has displeased you or simply because she is taking advantage of your good nature, for she is human, after all, in more sense than one.

[This message has been edited by Karl (edited 19-12-2000).]

[To Karl]

You could not have said it better!