Indonesian or Filipino maid

[Another one]

Another vote for Indonesians. Our maid has been with us for 5 years and is a far better housekeeper and cook than I am. It would take me all day to do the things she's done before 10am. Go to the market, plan the meals, cook breakfast, tidy up the whole house, sweep and mop, take care of the pets, start laundry and begin cooking lunch - and she doesn't even break a sweat. She always seems so relaxed about it, she's a happy person, smiles and jokes, doesn't seem bothered by the monotony of the work at all, and my son adores her. I don't think we've ever had to think about a trust issue and her common sense is generally spot on, with some cultural variations. I also think my marriage is stronger because of having a maid. If I had to cook and do housework all day I don't think I would be particularly cheerful when it's time to be alone with my husband.

It's a personal decision, and I do feel bad for people who get stuck with the wrong maid and vice versa. But when the relationship works, it's brilliant.

[FFS]

Another vote for Indonesians. Our maid has been with us for 5 years and is a far better housekeeper and cook than I am. It would take me all day to do the things she's done before 10am. Go to the market, plan the meals, cook breakfast, tidy up the whole house, sweep and mop, take care of the pets, start laundry and begin cooking lunch - and she doesn't even break a sweat. She always seems so relaxed about it, she's a happy person, smiles and jokes, doesn't seem bothered by the monotony of the work at all, and my son adores her. I don't think we've ever had to think about a trust issue and her common sense is generally spot on, with some cultural variations. I also think my marriage is stronger because of having a maid. If I had to cook and do housework all day I don't think I would be particularly cheerful when it's time to be alone with my husband.

It's a personal decision, and I do feel bad for people who get stuck with the wrong maid and vice versa. But when the relationship works, it's brilliant.

"I also think my marriage is stronger because of having a maid".  You would have to be kidding me with that statement.  Another deluded expat who needs to get a grip.  The sense of entitlement of some of you people is simply amazing.

[To FFS]

The poster is just trying tobe helpful and share her positive experience...OK so you don't think employing a maid is ethical or desirable, whilst most people in Singapore seem to think it is. Sorry that you're stuck living surrounded by people you're at such odds with, but your comment is neither helpful or constructive!

[soreears]

Actually, my marriage is stronger without a maid! We have had 4 maids in total and they all made our family life a misery one way or the other. We have had about a total of 2 years with maids and wouldn't do it again.

One other thing, you'd think that by having a maid many women here would have free time to do great things. The truth is that many of them do not go down the gym, do not get involved in charity work, do not spend more time teaching their kids things and hanging out with their kids doing fun stuff. I know many of you do, but of the people I know, they really do not utilize this other time productively. Plus, despite having a maid, these are the people who turn up an hour late for dinner or a play date. I am just stating what I observe.

Seriously, I am not a maid basher nor am I saying that people shouldn't employ a maid. I am just saying that it is possible to live without one happily so long as you are organized. Having no maid actually gives me more freedom. I really do not need another person to look after, I've already got 3 others to look after in my house. Every play date I have or meet up with a friend/ acquaintance invariably ends up with them banging on about their maid has done this or their maid has done that and then I have to listen to them shouting at the maid in their houses because the broccoli was not steamed to perfection etc. It's really tiresome and reflects badly on the person doing the complaining.

[your house your rules]

Yes, you are totally correct. Having a mismatch between you and the maid is much worse than having no maid. Yes, you can get organised and do it all yourself...and you often end up closer to your kids and them doing more jobs independently around the house as a result.  But having a maid that fits in with your life is wonderful and has to be the best senario, but difficult to find. I found it fine with no maid until emergencies hit...like a kid going to hospital when my husband is away and the siblings can't stay home alone (no grandparents to call ). Having a new baby and still wanting to let the older kids continue with their commitments...easy when you have a helper around. And of course having a maid allows you to do some work, if like me, that's important to you.

[soreears]

PP I agree. I find that the less a person needs a maid, the more they moan. I don't find any of my working friends moaning about their maids unless it is a serious issue. I do think some of the women here should really assess if they need a maid or not. For example, think about all the $ you could save in a year if you didn't have one as you didn't really need one and just jumped on the bandwagon. I reckon you would save at least S$12,000 in a year at least.

[your house your rules]

Have you really heard an expat employer shouting at their maid when you were round at their house?? Ouch! They must be finding the relationship very stressful to have got to that..

[soreears]

Yes, PP I have and it's not just one acquaintance, it's many of them. They openly shout at the maid and then seem to revel in treating them like crap.

[lilolilly]

maybe it's the people you mix with.  I've never heard anyone i know shout at their maid.

[Irene Tang]

I can only speak from personal experience, we had two Filipino maids during our postings here and both were fantastic.  We treated them with respect and received the same in return.

I had my first Filipino maid and just sent her to transfer days back. She is horrible and recommended by her sister who is working in singapore too. My first requirement is to cook basic one dinner daily, her cooking is worst than basic.

I lived in this house for more than a year, my monthly electricity and water bill is always $70-$80 dollars and when she came in just to take over all the simple and little housework I used to do, I expected to increase to $100, but how much my bill? S$157 and I don't even have air con in my house.

She cook dinner and only give my son a very small portion dishes and double bowl of rice, yet she keeps a large portion of dishes for herself, I have only slightly more than my son. things, she dare to said don't want the Japan brand KAO and wanted a full set of L'oreal hair care products and shampoo!

first two weeks she came and i have no time to bring to buy personal items, so asked to used mine. in the end when i brought her to CK buy

I count my money every evening before i came home from work and check again every morning before i leave home, but the three months she was here, I lost two times $50 and one $30. did i scold her? no, thought that maybe she really needs the money.

in the end, bcos i remind her to save water and electricity, not only she gave sulky face, she threaten to leave cos she knew that i need a helper when i change a new job next month.

yes i urgently and desparately need a helper, but i do not afraid of threatening. She argued with me and my little boy came forward, she grabbed him hard and pulled him roughly, i pushed her away so she can't hurt my son, she called her sister to make false report said i beat her! police can tell she was lying!

I personally believe, wherever country or age or background or education, there are good and bad maid. I am just very unlucky to employ such maid for the first time.

People tells me indonesia maids are stupid, do not treat children well, any point of time she is not happy she will find ways to hurt employer and their family... yes i am scared, but after my experience will the filipino recently, i rather give it a try.

[to PP]

Sorry, but your English is appalling. 

If you speak the language as badly as you write it, then I pity anyone who has to take instructions from you - there will be lots of misunderstandings.

[Up Yourself, PP??]

Wow. That was a breathtakingly boorish post, PP. Get over your sad self.

It is glaringly obvious that the PPP is not a native English speaker. While there were errors in the post, I had no difficulty understanding it all. Not all expats speak perfect English. Furthermore, even if the PPP is not an expat, I found her post helpful, although I do feel sorry for her.

[Fake]

The fake posts are easy to spot.  The PP whose friends all yell at their maids. It's not believable, people make friends with others like them. If you are their friend, why are you bit hung about them on a public forum? That's not very nice.

[Fake]

Eh, should be bitching not bit hung, posting from my iPhone

[Ancient Wisdom]

People make friends on this little red dot with anyone who'll tell them the time. Sad, but true. So it is not a stretch to have someone bitching here about the people they have just met a short time ago that they don't really like but are too lonely to care. Such is an expat's lot, especially a short term expat's. As for the yelling at maids thing. Not a stretch to believe that either. It takes all types and there are a lot of unhappy people here.