Those of you who smack, what do you deem smack-worthy?

[A question]

We have so far never smacked our son and hope we don't have to.

BUt for those of you who do, what do you deem worthy of a smack? For example, on the sassy 5 year old friend some seem to think mouthing off justifies a smack. I'd have thought lying, pet-torturing etc were more likely offences.

So what do you deem smack-worthy, and how do you differentiate between serious and less serious "offences"?

[mme spanky]

When mine were little they got the odd smack - usually out of shock from my point of view, for instance when my youngest spray painted the side of the fridge bright pink and once when she cut a big hole in her duvet cover.  Oh and the time we were talking about a boy in a book and she said "what a f*****g idiot" which, by the way she didn't get from me (and later admitted that it was from the older kids on the school bus.........she hasn't said it again .....or at least not within my hearing!!).

Actually, when I say 'they' I'm only talking about my youngest, because my eldest never did things like that 

So I can think of just the 3 smacks which I think is pretty good (for a child who seems to have been born with a mischevious streak!)

I'm happy to say though, the smack days seem to be over - she hasn't done anything to shock me like that for the last few years.

[A question]

I think  know who you are! THe hole in the duvet cover gave it away!

[mme spanky]

lol - very possibly 

[Old Mike]

If an unacceptable behavior is repeated after it has been clearly communicated to the child that the behavior is not acceptable, then a smack is indicated. The P.C. brigade can say " time out" " go to your room" " It makes Mummy sad" etc. If these work, fine.
I not, smack.
If you start young, about 2+, you will nip antisocial behavoir in the bud.
If you abdicate your responsibilty, you will raise criminals.
No normal parents like smacking their chidren. But they have a duty to raise responsible human beings.

[Must Be Really Good]

If an unacceptable behavior is repeated after it has been clearly communicated to the child that the behavior is not acceptable, then a smack is indicated. The P.C. brigade can say " time out" " go to your room" " It makes Mummy sad" etc. If these work, fine.
I not, smack.
If you start young, about 2+, you will nip antisocial behavoir in the bud.
If you abdicate your responsibilty, you will raise criminals.
No normal parents like smacking their chidren. But they have a duty to raise responsible human beings.

I have raised two boys, without smacking, who have yet to become criminals.  At what age does this make them developmentally delayed Old Mike?  One is 24 and the other is 28.  Should I seek therapy for them both or just wait and see when their anti social behaviour and criminal tendencies emerge?

[Smack Not Enough]

Look.  We smacked our kid by hand and she actually got used to it so we needed something more effective.  Go out and buy a wicker cane, about 1/4" in diameter.

Use it across the back of the legs, butt and if that gets old head, neck and shoulders.

We use it on ours any time she uses the word "no."  She now never says no to us. 

It was also an excellent tool for potty training.  Any time she peed or pood her diaper we let fly.  I am happy to report she is now potty trained.  She might be a little slow because it took her to 5 y/o to get there.  Having a slow kid is another reason to smack them.  It makes them try harder to be normal. Works good on speech delay problems and autism.

Oh, and if you are a husband. It works just as well on your wife. Especially if you don't like what she made for dinner (smack) or don't like the way she does her hair (smack, smack) or if she even looks at or speaks to another man (smack, smack, smack)

It's good to see the world coming to it's senses and realizing the late 1900's was the best time in history.  When men were men!

[Pathetic Attempt]

Look.  We smacked our kid by hand and she actually got used to it so we needed something more effective.  Go out and buy a wicker cane, about 1/4" in diameter.

Use it across the back of the legs, butt and if that gets old head, neck and shoulders.

We use it on ours any time she uses the word "no."  She now never says no to us. 

It was also an excellent tool for potty training.  Any time she peed or pood her diaper we let fly.  I am happy to report she is now potty trained.  She might be a little slow because it took her to 5 y/o to get there.  Having a slow kid is another reason to smack them.  It makes them try harder to be normal. Works good on speech delay problems and autism.

Oh, and if you are a husband. It works just as well on your wife. Especially if you don't like what she made for dinner (smack) or don't like the way she does her hair (smack, smack) or if she even looks at or speaks to another man (smack, smack, smack)

It's good to see the world coming to it's senses and realizing the late 1900's was the best time in history.  When men were men!

At a wind up, Dude.  At least try and be funny!

[but,but]

think they were being sarcastic!!  :

[Hole In Duvet]

How funny! One of ours cut a hole in a duvet too! I was pretty angry at the time, 'though...

[Old Mike]

"I have raised two boys, without smacking, who have yet to become criminals.  At what age does this make them developmentally delayed Old Mike?  One is 24 and the other is 28.  Should I seek therapy for them both or just wait and see when their anti social behaviour and criminal tendencies emerge?"

You do not say what professions they are following.
They may be investment bankers, hedge fund trimmers, estate agents or members of some other group who grow rich by defrauding their fellow human beings. Or just late developers.
At their age it is too late for therapy. Just make sure you know the way to Changi prison, aswell as the airport.

[Old Mike]

"It's good to see the world coming to it's senses and realizing the late 1900's was the best time in history.  When men were men!"

You mean the late 1800's. By the late 1900's the rot had already set in.

[T-Out]

Time-out never fails and grounding is far more civil and acceptable then smacking. Dont smack your kids no matter what. It is so unnecessary. You disrespect them you loose them forever. Communication dies and  everything is gone. Keeping dialogue open always pays off when they are teenagers. You smack them now they will do things behind your back as they will not trust you anymore and fear you. It may not show now but wait till they are 30+ it will come out as resentment and anger. They will repeat that behaviour with their spouces and children and not even know they are doing it!

Counsellor.

[Old Mike]

T out, it may have happened in your family, but not in mine.

[Caligirl]

My kids are a tad on the young side for "smacking," but I'm happy to weigh in with my experiences as a child -- now adult -- who was "smacked" growing up. By smacking, I mean spanking for disciplinary purposes when behavior is totally unacceptable -- not beating your kid to a pulp every time they make a mistake or mess.

Both my parents as well as my inlaws spanked their respective children. My brother, husband, two brothers-in-law and I are all in our late 30s/early 40s. We are all zealous parents, good citizens, successful professionals and very significantly, have close, loving relationships with our parents and each other -- relationships built on respect. So, to T-Out, I don't think your theory holds much water...unless you believe that we will all crack up in our 50s from all the "resentment and anger" that is bubbling inside of us.

In terms of discipline, what worked so effectively for my parents was being consistent in how they doled it out. Minor or first time infractions might merit a warning or "time out" (also known as "GO TO YOUR ROOM!") or an elimination of something we loved. If I or my brother blantantly or habitually ignored a request from our parents or openly disrespected them, that might merit a spanking.

I can probably remember every spanking I received as a child. My brother & I knew not to cross the line with the big stuff, and on the rare occassion when we did, our @sses paid the price.

I remember mouthing off/totally disrespecting my mother when I was about 8. My father -- not exactly the most nimble man -- was out of his EZ boy chair, across the room & had my bare butt out for a spank in a nanosecond. Believe me, that was the first, last and only time I showed such disrespect toward my mother.

After I cooled down, whichever parent had spanked me would sit down with me quietly, and we would discuss why I had been spanked (not that that was a mystery). These post-spank sessions always ended up with a sincere apology from me, a hug and an "I love you" from my mom and/or dad, and then we moved on.

My parents were, and still are, very loving, hands on parents. I never once felt abused or alienated when I was spanked. Frankly, when I encounter a kid who mouths off to his/her parents with ease or tantrums beyond an age when tantrums are expected, I have to think that perhaps my parents & inlaws were on to something that works.

Just my two cents. I appreciate that not every parent shares my view.