Confinement Nannies?

[AboutToDeliver]

Anyone have any experience with confinement nannies in Singapore?
I'm curious as to whether any non-Chinese women here have used a confinement nanny and how their experience was.

[Functionality]

What do they do?   I could imagine maybe wanting some house help if I had twins or more, but surely not for one baby?  Come on, its the 21st century!

I can't imagine some old woman full of superstition telling me how to care for my baby.

Good luck with that!

[Maternity nurse]

Are you talking about what we'd call a maternity nurse in the west?

I had one for my second child and it was wonderful, money well spent. Depends what you are looking for but I had another child of 13 months and an absent husband, maternity nurse meant I was able get some help with the night shift.

[mslon]

my sis used one for about a month and mainly to help with the night shift.  She pumps her breastmilk and the nanny feeds the baby at night. With a husband away from home and a hyperactive boy to take care of, the night rest was invaluable. 

[Absolutely]

pathetic

[Expansion]

Would like to expand on that incisive comment?

[Absolutely]

If you are referring to me, there is no need for "expansion"...  I think the comment sums it up quite well.

[NMS1]

I don't have personal experience of one but I do have a friend who used one for her first child at the insistence of her local mother-in-law.

They are essentially there to look after both you & the baby, not to do general housework. They will cook the traditional confinement foods and will help out looking after the baby when you want them to. If you choose to let them take over a night feed some of them will or they can look after the baby while you take a rest during the day. If you are a first-time Mum they can help you with things like bathing if you are a bit unsure of what you are doing.

A lot of them are very set in  their ways and will want to follow the local customs very closely i.e. certain foods, no plain water to drink, no cold drinks, no air-con, no bathing etc etc. So if you decide to go for it you will need to find one who is willing to do it your way.

Personally I have a full-time maid at home so I haven't used one for my first two and won't for no.3 who is due to arrive soon. My husband (who is local) did bring it up a few times but I told him it was a case of "too many cooks..."

To those of you who don't approve, you should remember that at home we may have our own mothers, sisters, close friends around to help out. Here most women don't and the first few weeks with a new baby can be a lonely, tough time for some women. If a confinement nanny is what is best for a person, then let them be even if it's not your personal choice.

[you are right]

If you are referring to me, there is no need for "expansion"...  I think the comment sums it up quite well.

It shows you are indeed absolutely pathetic.

[Not necessarily]

I have had both my children without a confinement nanny nor family and friends close by.  I really don't get why we have our hands cut off when we come to Asia!

Plenty of showers and a balanced diet, coupled with snatching some sleep during toddler nap times or school time will see you being able to cope with your new addition.  This will make you much more healthy and able to cope than some superstitious old woman telling you not to bathe for six weeks (thats just too disgusting) or not eating anything beginning with a "y" claptrap!

Why do we make this baby lark out to be so difficult?  Have we all really become so precious that we can't cope without uninterrupted sleep?

[well it depends]

I have had both my children without a confinement nanny nor family and friends close by.  I really don't get why we have our hands cut off when we come to Asia!

No, but you do get cut off from your families in many instances.  Quite often at home grandparents may provide some help.  Why the locals need them though, another question.

Why do we make this baby lark out to be so difficult?  Have we all really become so precious that we can't cope without uninterrupted sleep?

Easier for some than others.  Depends on how long it goes on, how interrupted etc.  If you are permanently exhausted it isn't good for you or the baby.  Yes you would survive but why do people get so het up with making life easier for yourself and likely the child.

[been there...]

Had both my babies back in my home country without any help & my older one hadn't even started kindy yet.  I would have loved to had some help & well done if you do.  I was never the type who was able to sleep when my toddler slept and I only wish I could have afforded help as my family did not live near me.

We have a helper now & am planning no 3 - my plan is already to do the night feeds & my helper will feed pumped milk during the day.  The joy of not having do clean & cook! 

Why does everybody beat every one up so much about having help?  I've done all the work as well but I love having help now.  There's no one waiting to give you a medal for soldiering on on your own.

[Aliya]

A friend recently had a part time one who also gave her the daily tummy massages to get her figure back into shape.  I have had several friends both ex pat and local have a full or part time confinement nanny. From what I have seen they have been great, assisted in getting the mother and baby into a daily routine, was great in getting figures back into shape and having an older "motherly" lady over here away from family was also really useful to them.  All of my friends who have had them swear by them, the ones who had this for second/third children said they were more relaxed than with the first and the first time mothers said they felt more confident about being mothers.

To all of you who did without any help yourself, great on you but if this is available in Asia and it makes life easier during a difficult time then why not?  Why tear others to shreds?  What is so DREADFULLY wrong with a bit of help?  Communities have for thousands of years worked on women sharing the role of child rearing and childbirth.  WHY does a woman have to do this alone?  What is so BAD about this?

I can say that the friends who have had confinement nannies have been much happier than the stressed out first time mothers who are expected to do it all themselves over here, away from family. 

[It's Amazing]

how guilt can really bring out the defensiveness in people! 

[and also]

amazing how envy brings out the worst in others!