Not liking my job

[distressed.]

This has been going on for months. I hate the job that I am in, but I cannot find another job. It's got to the point where I can't sleep well at night because of it (partly because I don't want to sleep because the next thing that happens is waking up to go to work!). I can't find another job either because of the current economic environment. I know what I am interested in, but that sector is just not hiring given the recession now.

I try to tell myself that it's only a job, and life is too short to fret over these things, but it's getting to me.

Single and in my early 30s, no obligations or mortages. I feel so helpless and stuck. Any advice?

[distressed.]

Thanks, AlexB. One thing I've learned is never to chase "prestige" or money when finding a job. Do something that you like. It took me a while to realize this and now I am paying the price for this. Just waiting for the economy to turn and I can finally leave this crappy job that is making me so depressed.

How bad can a job get? Very bad. I am in investment banking (corporate finance/M&A). Let me tell you why I hate this job so much (despite the $$$)...pardon me while I get all these things off my chest:

- MDs (the senior bankers) have no respect for your time. They email and expect you to reply or get the stuff done even at midnight on a saturday. I am their slave 24/7 with no life of my own. I've been sleeping an average of 4 hours a day for the last 6 months. How long can this go on before my health is permanently damaged?

- It's an intellectually dishonest job. If you are on the sell-side, you tweak the projections to make the valuation go up. Buyside, do the reverse. You continue doing this even if no one believes in these projections and the work product any more. I can't believe that I am wasting my life on something so worthless and so dishonest.

- Generally, investment bankers are the most money-driven idiots around without any moral principles. It's all about cover-your-ass and the office politics is just AMAZING. Everything has to be written on email for records sake and so you can point your finger at others when things go wrong. Colleagues are jerks.

- Investment bankers really know sh*t about the clients' business but we do a good job of pretending we do and then we fleece our clients with millions in fees. How come no one sees through this folly?

[my advice]

Quit only if you have at least 6 months of salary in your bank account and the willingness to be frugal for the next 3-12 months.

[ex-auditor]

Been there.  Was very young at that time (about 25) I remember that every morning was such a torture to go to work.  Would whinge to my mother every evening asking her how to tolerate the next day.

I took her advise that since I am going to leave anyway, most things that happen won't make much of a difference so I just had to wait it out...

And wait it out I did till a better job came along then I left.

[my advice]

Frugal means:

- Keeping to a strict budget and counting every cent you spend

- Getting a hard attack whenever there are unexpected expenses like going to the doctor or replacing a broken item

- Cutting out "luxuries" like beer, Starbucks coffee etc

- Feeling stressed when catching up with friends over lunch/dinner/drinks and trying not to look cheap

- Feeling stressed whenever a family member and good friend's birthday comes up and you're shopping for a present

The list goes on and on. Are you SURE you want to do this for months on end just to be able to get away from your job?

[Exciting]

Frugal means:

- Getting a hard attack whenever there are unexpected expenses like going to the doctor or replacing a broken item

I never knew being frugal could be so exciting 

To the OP,

The PP's are far more qualified to give advice, so I won't add to it. However, the stated reasons for your stress, refect on you as a person. A good person.

All the best to you.

[Been there too!!]

My first job was in investment banking and I hated it for all the same reasons you do!! Felt like my soul was starving. I somehow had convinced myself I had no choice in the matter which was crazy. I saved up some money and left - moved to China with my boyfriend (now husband) where he was studying and then lived very frugally. Seriously, living in a rat and bug invested dorm room was better than living the "high life" and hating it.

Advice:

Start living frugally now.

Leave if you really can't stand it anymore - life is too short!

Make sure you are still covered by health insurance.

Figure out who you are and what you love to do. Then find a way to get paid for it.

Take care of yourself and don't let yourself get bossed around too much. They are paying for your time, but they don't ever get to own you.

I like the idea of backpacking for a while if you can afford it. Sounds like you need to clear your brain!

All the best!

[MrHttp]

Same here, back in 1988 I worked for the government and was soooo bored. I took leave from work and backpacked through Asia for six months and had a blast. It changed the way I looked on work and life so when I got home I quickly quit my job and moved abroad.

Life is too short and since you don't have any obligations go for it. It is a great feeling telling them what they can do with their job )

[BeanCounter]

I think you should consider why you hate the job so much.  

- Is it the nature of the job? (Like the poster ex auditor, I am an ex auditor and an accountant - I am relatively good at my job but have never enjoyed it - I am a lot older than you with plenty of commitments.  If I could have my life back, I would certainly do something else).

- Is it the particular company and individuals you work with?

- Is it you?  Could you be somewhat depressed (perhaps clinically) or homesick or just simply tired and fed up with work?  Would a break help you?  Would a change of country help you?

- How do you weigh job satisfaction against the money?  I am reconciled to my "fate" as the money is pretty good and I seek my fulfilment outside what I do at work.  It would have been better if I had a job that satisfied my soul but then maybe you can't have everything.

Talk to people whose opinions you value (if there are any), but above all take stock of what the real problem is.  Then you can decide how best to deal with it.

On balance, unless you are in danger of starvation and homelessness, given your age and lack of commitments, I think you should seriously consider a change and quickly.

[SearchYerSoulGrasshopper]

I think that deep inside you know the answer to the question but are afraid to take that leap into the unknown.

When faced with a crossroads, I ask myself, when I am 80 years old and looking back on my life, which path would I have wished I'd taken?

[one thing to add]

I definitely understand where you're coming from, but just wanted to add one thing- office politics exists in EVERY job, it is not restricted to investment banking.  I had a short spell working for the government and it's amazing how much office politics was practiced even though everyone was on the same salary.  I wouldn't fall into the trap of thinking that pure and intellectually honest jobs exist, even at universities there are politics and grey areas even though we think they are academically pure environments.

On the bright side, I also wouldn't think that everyone else is cheating and getting ahead while you are being held back because of your morals.  Everyone respects a little integrity, maybe I am being naive but I don't think all the guys are the top are scum and got there by lying and backstabbing their way to the top.  The cream always rises at the end of the day

[Dentists]

This has been going on for months. I hate the job that I am in, but I cannot find another job. It's got to the point where I can't sleep well at night because of it (partly because I don't want to sleep because the next thing that happens is waking up to go to work!). I can't find another job either because of the current economic environment. I know what I am interested in, but that sector is just not hiring given the recession now.

I try to tell myself that it's only a job, and life is too short to fret over these things, but it's getting to me.

Single and in my early 30s, no obligations or mortages. I feel so helpless and stuck. Any advice?

Just think about dentists. Spend all day looking into smelly mouths and then get into their Maseratis and drive home. Even the most miserable job has its good points.

[Fergus]

Sorry to hear that.

Many of us have been in your position, at one time or another...

The best advice I ever received (while corny) was.."find your obsession and make it your profession".

20 years ago, I was in your position. I was an Accountant and hated it. I was ok, and was doing pretty well, but it bored me stupid. So I sat down and listed all the things I liked and disliked, eg..

Likes
Change - different challenges every day
Intellectually challenging
People interaction
Creativity
Getting things done
Technology

Dislikes
Numbers
Repetition
Documentation
etc

Try and think what you seriously are passionate about. That you love doing.
Pick an industry / jobs that fills 90% of that void
No finacial baggage  - then start researching the industry and target a job(s).
If no experience - no problem, just make it a realistic change.
If you are a true go getter then contact HR directly and keep knocking on the door. Even offer to work for them for free for 1 year, if you live at home.
eg. IT - Google, Advertising - Ogilvy (sp?) - aim high

Your passion and persistence will pay off.

Find a mentor, maybe one of your father or one of your friends parents is very successfull. Ask then for advice.

Keep doing your day job well, but spend your spare time plotting a path for a new future.

For the rest of your career, do one thing a year to make yourself more marketable.

Many of us have changed industries and you have age on your side. (Obviously you can't go from bus conductor to Astronaut in one step, but pick the best company in that industry and research the hell out of it.)

Money and/or happiness will come, and you will be successful. Once you leave a job it is twice as hard to get another. Many people (in this market) are going to ask - why are you leaving a good paying job to work for us for free?? A much better proposition than, you are out of a job and desperate and will work for nothing..

Good luck and aim high !

Fergus.

[current auditor]

as an auditor, i would say its really a job every one would hate, but what can i do, i just live by it, and trying to find opportunities elsewhere.

but the most fearful thing, is thinking of what lies ahead, where should i go? i've been an auditor for 5 years, i am not 26, so its like thinking that this is the only job i know.

so hard to think it over, but got no where to go.

[Go for it]

A lot of good advice on here already, especially the post from Fergus.  I would suggest you redirect your energy from dwelling about all the negatives and concentrating on all the positives.  You are young and committment free...the world is at your feet.  Don't take it all so seriously.  No-one ever got to their death bed and wished they spent more time in the office.  Recognise the office politics for what it is and ignore it.

Without sounding too corny, be true to your self too.  If your work is challenging your ethics and morals, you really have three choices.  Undermine your ethics and morals to keep the job or work tirelessly to change the work environment or move on.

I have left careers and knocked back opportunities because of this myself (and still do with family in tow).  I have missed out on promotions and money because of it but I sleep well at night.

If you have an appetite for risk and are reasonably set financially, take off and back pack or go on a working holiday or volunteer somewhere abroad.  Further your education? Or if you are less risky, take Fergus's advice and keep your day job but only as a means to an end (to find a better one).

Best of luck.