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Author Topic: The key to happiness - and it's not MONEY  (Read 10590 times)
Quinn
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« Reply #30 on: 05 December 2009, 16:02:06 pm »

It is clear to me that there are way too many people out there who pursue money as THE source of happiness in their lives.  I submit that money is not the answer by any means, and this study is a good first piece of evidence:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness

Very informative link. I really agree that MONEY is not the key of happiness.
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« Reply #30 on: 05 December 2009, 16:02:06 pm »



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Nick1254367
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« Reply #31 on: 16 December 2009, 16:03:59 pm »

Hi,

interesting thoughts!

I believe it’s not possible to make a general statement on whether money makes people more or less happy. Money comes with a whole set of new elements that may have good or bad impact on our happiness, and depending on how susceptible we are to every one of them, the conclusion will go one way or the other (i.e. different from person to person).

Thank you,

Nick
« Last Edit: 16 December 2009, 16:48:18 pm by BoardManager » Logged
Yash
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« Reply #32 on: 08 January 2010, 10:11:54 am »

I really enjoyed this article as well.

While cleaning up the apartment over the NY weekend, I found it and re-read it.  The following day I sent out a NY email to my closest friends and included this article with it.
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #33 on: 23 January 2010, 14:47:24 pm »

More power to this kid.  He appears to be wiser than his years.  Proof positive that it is possible to have be happy and live a good life without money:

Yahoo Sports
Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:31 pm EST

A's prospect leaving baseball for call of the priesthood

By 'Duk

Well, here's a story you don't see every day.

Grant Desme, a 23-year-old minor league outfielder in Oakland's system, is retiring from baseball to follow a calling into the Catholic priesthood.

The story was first reported by Fox Sports' Jon Paul Morosi — perhaps appropriately with that first name of his — and this isn't a case of a struggling player going through an early-life crisis. Desme was ranked the A's eighth-best prospect by Baseball America after hitting .288 with 31 home runs and 89 RBIs in A ball in 2009 and he was just named MVP of the Arizona Fall League.

Desme might have even been a late-season callup to the big league club in 2010. Our Y! Sports 2010 fantasy guide has him ranked the 40th-best minor-league prospect for near-term fantasy purpose. However, ESPN's Rob Neyer disagrees, saying that he didn't see Desme as a future star by the Bay.

Susan Slusser has more on Desme's decision to leave playing against the Padres and Cardinals so he can start praying with other padres and cardinals at a Catholic seminary in Orange County. He said the news came as bit of a shock to Billy Beane, but that the Oakland GM and entire A's system have been supportive of his decision.

Said Desme on a Friday afternoon conference call:

"I'm doing well in baseball. But I had to get down to the bottom of things, to what was good in my life, what I wanted to do with my life. Baseball is a good thing, but that felt selfish of me when I felt that God was calling me more. It took awhile to trust that and open up to it and aim full steam toward him ... I love the game, but I'm going to aspire to higher things."

Desme spoke with Baseball America last year about baseball being only "a game" and we wish him success on his spiritual path. In a selfish age when churches struggle to recruit young male Americans, his sacrifice of possible riches is a very admirable thing.
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #34 on: 13 February 2010, 15:19:57 pm »

The author of this piece raises a great point...one does not have to have riches to be able to give away a fortune!

www.Telegraph.com.uk
09 Feb 2010
By George Pitcher [he is Religion Editor of Telegraph Media. He is an Anglican priest and serves his ministry at St Bride's, Fleet Street, in London – the "journalists' church"]

Millionaire businessman is Karl Rabeder is following Christian gospel principles by giving away his fortune, whether he happens to be a Christian or not. Like the rich young man who approached Jesus to ask how to be saved, he’s selling off his possessions and giving his money to the poor, because he says money makes him miserable.

Well done him. He’s following in a fine tradition of the likes of Microsoft’s Bill Gates and ace-investor Warren Buffett, both of whom are giving away their vast fortunes before they die. In fact, Buffett is giving his friend Gates his money to disperse on his behalf. Mr Rabeder’s pile, at some £3 million, is modest by comparison with those two, but his heart’s obviously in the right place.

But I just wonder whether the giving-away bit is the whole story. The rich young man of the gospel was told to give his money to the poor and to follow Christ. So getting rid of the money is only half the job.

Mr Rabeder says he was appalled by the artificiality of wealth and he’s abandoning his Alpine villa for a hut. I hope that’s not just another form of self-indulgence. He’ll doubtless feel purer in his hermit-like existence, but one wonders what earthly use he’ll be to anyone else like that.

“Who does my wealth enrich?” is a better question to ask. If it’s just oneself that’s the beneficiary, then there’s a problem – and I think that’s as far as Mr Rabeder got. If you use it for the benefit of others, employing your time and skill as well as just dispensing the dosh, then you’re probably of more benefit to the world than a former rich bloke in a hovel half way up a mountain. His talent made the money and his talent should use it. The money would no longer be getting in the way of appreciating life and would be put to work. And so would its owner.

The love of money is the root of all evil, the Bible tells us. But hating it can run a close second too.
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hsgreenb
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« Reply #35 on: 14 February 2010, 11:01:29 am »

What is the key to happiness?  As each human being is unique, you'll have as many answers to that question as you have humans on this planet.

That said, the human race has a surplus of unthinking, unoriginal, undisciplined lemming-types for whom money can easily buy things that will make them feel happy (until the thrill wears and they need another fix).

Is that going to change?  Probably but not any time soon.  The greatest truth of the human existence is weakness so the kind of discipline required for all of humanity to live without such an easily digestible barometer/tool as money is way off down our evolutionary path.

I'm long past being disappointed.  I insulate myself emotionally & financially so the failings of others can't affect me.  I'm content to live out my piece drinking fine wine, watching the biggest TV I can afford, eating great food and pursuing that which I know will give me deeper happiness based on years of effort put in towards the cultivation of knowledge of self.

I haven't arrived in Singapore yet so I have no connection yet to what everyone says about the money-lust out there but I grew up in New York so I have a general understanding of that theme.

From what I've seen, I operate with the understanding that money does indeed make the world go 'round but that doesn't mean you have to obsess about it.   Smiley
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #36 on: 03 April 2010, 10:45:46 am »

hsgreenb,

Well said, esp this bit:

[unthinking, unoriginal, undisciplined lemming-types for whom money can easily buy things that will make them feel happy]

The other day I exchanged posts with my fellow foreigners (the topic was the need for a car here in SG).  Any mention whatsoever of an alternative lifestyle here that does NOT include a maid, car and living in a condo tends to hit a nerve.  It is all very illogical to me.

The responses I received (most since deleted)  ranged from incredulity to indignation at such a brazen attack (in the other poster's minds). 

One or two posters went so far as to assume I am 'poor' simply because I choose to live in HDB!!!

Westerners on this site like to shout from the rooftops about how our culture enjoys freedom, and yet enslave themselves to a lifestyle that is unsustainable and in most cases can only be supported by debt. 

The latter in combination with the 'Lemming Mentality'  is the most pernicious and vicious dictator there is, as far as I am concerned.  It takes people's liberty and they don't even know it.

I suppose that this is the purpose of this thread - to attempt to open some eyes out there!
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #37 on: 05 April 2010, 15:45:54 pm »

It is probably a little-known fact that the average millionaire in the United States actually got that way by living below their means and undertaking an unconventional career path (usually owning their own business). 

These people are not ostentatious when it comes to money...and the reverse dynamic is true (those who tend to flaunt material possessions tend to have low to negative net worth). 

Valuable lesson to be learned here:

Yahoo.com AP
Five Billionaires Who Live Below Their Means
by Katie Adams
Thursday, April 1, 2010


At least once in your life - maybe even once a week or once a day for that matter - you have fantasized about coming into a lot of money. What would you do if you were worth millions or even billions? Believe it or not there are millionaires and billionaires among us who masquerade as relatively normal, run-of-the-mill people. Take a peek at some of the most frugal wealthy people in the world.

Warren Buffett

Millions of people read Buffett's books and follow his firm, Berkshire Hathaway's, every move. But the real secret to Buffett's personal fortune may be his penchant for frugality. Buffett, who is worth an estimated $47 billion, eschews opulent homes and luxury items. He and his wife still live in their modest home in Omaha, Nebraska which they purchased for just $31,500 more than 50 years ago.

Although he's dined in the best restaurants around the globe, given the choice he would opt for a good burger and fries accompanied by a cold cherry Coke. When asked why he doesn't own a yacht he responded "Most toys are just a pain in the neck." (Find out how he went from selling soft drinks to buying up companies and making billions of dollars.

Carlos Slim

While most of the world is very familiar with Bill Gates, the name Carlos Slim rarely rings a bell. But it's a name worth knowing. Slim, who is a native of Mexico, was just named the world's richest billionaire – that's right, richer than the uber-famous Microsoft founder. Slim is worth more than $53 billion and while he could afford the world's most extravagant luxuries he rarely indulges. He, like Buffett, doesn't own a yacht or plane and he has lived in the same home for over 40 years.

Ingvar Kamprad

The founder of the Swedish furniture phenomenon Ikea struck success with affordable, assemble-it-yourself furniture. For Kamprad, figuring out how to save money isn't just for his customers, it's a high personal value. He's been quoted as saying "Ikea people do not drive flashy cars or stay at luxury hotels." That goes for the founder as well. He flies coach for business and when he needs to get around town locally he either takes the bus or will head out in his 15-year-old Volvo 240 GL.

Chuck Feeney

Growing up in the wake of The Depression as an Irish-American probably has something to do with Feeney's frugality. With a personal motto of "I set out to work hard, not get rich," the co-founder of Duty Free Shoppers has quietly become a billionaire but even more secretively given almost all of it away through his foundation, Atlantic Philanthropies. In addition to giving more than $600 million to his alma mater Cornell University, he has given billions to schools, research departments and hospitals.

Loath to spend if he doesn't have to, Feeney beats both Buffett and Kamprad in the donation category, giving out less grants than only Ford and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundations. A frequent user of public transportation, Mr. Feeney flies economy class, buys clothes from retail stores, and does not wast money on an extensive shoes closet, stating "you can only wear one pair of shoes at a time". He raised his children in the same way; making them work the same normal summer jobs as most teens.

Frederik Meijer

If you live in the Midwest chances are good that you shop at Meijer's chain of grocery stores. Meijer is worth more than $5 billion and nearly half of that was amassed when everyone else was watching their net worth drop in 2009. Like Buffett he buys reasonably-priced cars and drives them until they die, and like Kamprad he chooses affordable motels when on travel for work. Also, like Chuck Feeney, rather than carelessly spending his wealth Mr. Meijer is focused on the good that it can provide to the community.

The Bottom Line

The dirty little secret of some of the world's wealthiest people is that they rarely act like it. Instead of over-the-top spending, they're busy figuring out how to save and invest to have that much more in the future. It's a habit you might want to consider in order to build up your own little storehouse of cash
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tweek
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« Reply #38 on: 05 April 2010, 16:52:39 pm »

The other day I exchanged posts with my fellow foreigners (the topic was the need for a car here in SG).  Any mention whatsoever of an alternative lifestyle here that does NOT include a maid, car and living in a condo tends to hit a nerve.  It is all very illogical to me.

The responses I received (most since deleted)  ranged from incredulity to indignation at such a brazen attack (in the other poster's minds). 

One or two posters went so far as to assume I am 'poor' simply because I choose to live in HDB!!!

Westerners on this site like to shout from the rooftops about how our culture enjoys freedom, and yet enslave themselves to a lifestyle that is unsustainable and in most cases can only be supported by debt. 

The latter in combination with the 'Lemming Mentality'  is the most pernicious and vicious dictator there is, as far as I am concerned.  It takes people's liberty and they don't even know it.

I suppose that this is the purpose of this thread - to attempt to open some eyes out there!

I'm just going to take this opportunity to re-post something I said to you on the first page of this thread:

All that stuff aside though, someone else made a valid point on the other thread with regards to you and your personal life choices -- it was something along the lines of 'one size doesn't fit all' and your choices & belief systems don't need to be and really shouldn't be shoved down other people's throats. Honestly, the theme of your life as you portray it on this board is pretty gloomy - almost like everyone is out to screw you or something & you are the only dude out there living an honest, productive, worthwhile life. My comment of live and let live still stands and I'll add a second vote for the 'pull it in a bit' comment from the other thread.
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #39 on: 05 April 2010, 19:49:48 pm »

Tweek,

[I'm just going to take this opportunity to re-post something I said to you on the first page of this thread]

One good turn deserves another, so I will re-respond as per reply #3.

I will also add the following:

There is nothing to 'pull in'  as I am not being very in-your-face about this topic (you are merely interpreting it as such). 

Very much like the piece I quoted early on, I have discovered an incredibly liberating way of life and want to share that with everyone. 

As always you are free to ignore, but be aware that there are others who might find this interesting!
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tweek
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« Reply #40 on: 05 April 2010, 20:34:53 pm »

There is nothing to 'pull in'  as I am not being very in-your-face about this topic (you are merely interpreting it as such). 

Very much like the piece I quoted early on, I have discovered an incredibly liberating way of life and want to share that with everyone. 

As always you are free to ignore, but be aware that there are others who might find this interesting!

Clearly I am not the only one who 'interprets it as such' given this kind of thing often comes up when you start sharing your 'liberating way of life.' My comments were taken directly from something someone else said, so at minimum, there are 2 of us who are interpreting you as sometimes 'in your face' about lifestyles and I really doubt it is only 2. You are correct that I am free to ignore it and more often than not, I do just that. I will also point out that I do find some of your comments and opinions interesting, but I get the feeling that doesn't matter nearly as much to you as setting people straight who disagree with you, unfortunately.
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #41 on: 06 April 2010, 21:13:41 pm »

tweek,

'...Clearly I am not the only one who 'interprets it as such' given this kind of thing often comes up when you start sharing your 'liberating way of life.' My comments were taken directly from something someone else said, so at minimum, there are 2 of us who are interpreting you as sometimes 'in your face' about lifestyles and I really doubt it is only 2..."

I just don't understand how someone would be put off or otherwise affronted by the contents of my contributions on this thread.  I am not insulting or being rude to anyone.  It is an interesting topic, and my only desire is to engender thought-provoking debate.  There is nothing to fear here

"...I do find some of your comments and opinions interesting..."

Thanks!

"...but I get the feeling that doesn't matter nearly as much to you as setting people straight who disagree with you, unfortunately..."

It's only the arrogant types (not you of course) that need to be set straight.  I have no problem with opinions that run counter to mine...what I despise is the all-too often resort to insult and otherwise lowering of the proceedings on the part of those who can't win an argument on its merits alone.  That drives me nuts!!
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Vulcanl
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« Reply #42 on: 02 May 2010, 12:44:20 pm »

This here is a wise man....we should consider making this kind of experience mandatory at the high school level:

Source: http://www.gandhitopia.org/group/mgnd/forum/topics/the-man-who-lives-without



Mark Boyle has a cuppa out the front of his caravan. He has forgone money and says he has found happiness.

By Mark Boyle

Mark Boyle has a cuppa out the front of his caravan. He has forgone money and says he has found happiness.

British man Mark Boyle tried to live life with no income, no bank balance and no spending. Here's how he finds it.

If someone told me seven years ago, in my final year of a business and economics degree, that I'd now be living without money, I'd have probably choked on my microwaved ready meal. The plan back then was to get a 'good' job, make as much money as possible, and buy the stuff that would show society I was successful.

For a while I did it - I had a fantastic job managing a big organic food company; had myself a yacht on the harbour. If it hadn't been for the chance purchase of a video called Gandhi, I'd still be doing it today. Instead, for the last fifteen months, I haven't spent or received a single penny. Zilch.

The change in life path came one evening on the yacht whilst philosophising with a friend over a glass of merlot. Whilst I had been significantly influenced by the Mahatma's quote "be the change you want to see in the world", I had no idea what that change was up until then. We began talking about all major issues in the world - environmental destruction, resource wars, factory farms, sweatshop labour - and wondering which of these we would be best devoting our time to. Not that we felt we could make any difference, being two small drops in a highly polluted ocean.

But that that evening I had a realisation. These issues weren't as unrelated as I had previously thought - they had a common root cause. I believe the fact that we no longer see the direct repercussions our purchases have on the people, environment and animals they affect is the factor that unites these problems. The degrees of separation between the consumer and the consumed have increased so much that it now means we're completely unaware of the levels of destruction and suffering embodied in the 'stuff' we buy.

Very few people actually want to cause suffering to others; most just don't have any idea that they directly are. The tool that has enabled this separation is money, especially in its globalised format.

Take this for an example: if we grew our own food, we wouldn't waste a third of it as we do today.

If we made our own tables and chairs, we wouldn't throw them out the moment we changed the interior décor.

If we had to clean our own drinking water, we probably wouldn't shit in it.

So to be the change I wanted to see in the world, it unfortunately meant I was going to have to give up money, which I decided to do for a year initially. So I made a list of the basics I'd need to survive. I adore food, so it was at the top. There are four legs to the food-for-free table: foraging wild food, growing your own, bartering and using waste grub, of which there far too much.

On my first day I fed 150 people a three course meal with waste and foraged food. Most of the year I ate my own crops though and waste only made up about five per cent my diet. I cooked outside - rain or shine - on a rocket stove.

Next up was shelter. So I got myself a caravan from Freecycle, parked it on an organic farm I was volunteering with, and kitted it out to be off the electricity grid. I'd use wood I either coppiced or scavenged to heat my humble abode in a woodburner made from an old gas bottle, and I had a compost loo to make 'humanure' for my veggies.

I bathed in a river, and for toothpaste I used washed up cuttlefish bone with wild fennel seeds, an oddity for a vegan. For loo roll I'd relieve the local newsagents of its papers (I once wiped my arse with a story about myself); it wasn't double quilted but it quickly became normal. To get around I had a bike and trailer, and the 55 km commute to the city doubled up as my gym subscription. For lighting I'd use beeswax candles.

Many people label me an anti-capitalist. Whilst I do believe capitalism is fundamentally flawed, requiring infinite growth on a finite planet, I am not anti anything. I am pro-nature, pro-community and pro-happiness. And that's the thing I don't get - if all this consumerism and environmental destruction brought happiness, it would make some sense. But all the key indicators of unhappiness - depression, crime, mental illness, obesity, suicide and so on are on the increase. More money it seems, does not equate to more happiness.

Ironically, I have found this year to be the happiest of my life. I've more friends in my community than ever, I haven't been ill since I began, and I've never been fitter. I've found that friendship, not money, is real security. That most western poverty is spiritual. And that independence is really interdependence.

Could we all live like this tomorrow? No. It would be a catastrophe, we are too addicted to both it and cheap energy, and have managed to build an entire global infrastructure around the abundance of both. But if we devolved decision making and re-localised down to communities of no larger than 150 people, then why not? For over 90 per cent of our time on this planet, a period when we lived much more ecologically, we lived without money. Now we are the only species to use it, probably because we are the species most out of touch with nature.

People now often ask me what is missing compared to my old world of lucre and business. Stress. Traffic-jams. Bank statements. Utility bills. Oh yeah, and the odd pint of organic ale with my mates down the local.
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bellygood
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« Reply #43 on: 03 May 2010, 11:25:06 am »

Vulcan happiness is so 'in' right now, kind of a backlash to the global economic boom/bust I suppose.

In the download 'Happiness increasing techniques' (put together by some psychologist), we find:
counting your blessings
cultivating optimism
avoiding over/thinking + social comparison
practicing acts of kindness
nurturing relationships
doing more activities that really engage you
replaying and savoring life's joys
committing to your goals
developing strategies for coping
learning to forgive
practicing religion/spirituality
taking care of your body

No mention of earning more cash/buying more stuff! I'd have to agree, my general happiness level in my first job $15kAUD or last job $80kAUD didn't differ wildly. Both were enough to cover my living expenses and provide a bit of a lifestyle and that's really as far as money goes for happiness.

I guess it's easy when you are a non-hoarder (like me), I don't really ever chase physical stuff like cars etc. However, I blow a heap of money on 'experiences' like dining out, travel etc... is that really any better?

I think it would be quite a nice compliment (well I know it's a nice compliment) to be well-regarded in your profession and be offered nice amounts of money for it. But that doesn't mean I'd equate that with happiness.

PS not so sure about Gandiman. Is he paying taxes or contributing in any way? I more admire your 'average folk' who work (not to excess), pay their taxes and form part of the fabric of things. That's just as hard as living in a camper in the woods... You don't have to run away from the evils of the world, you can stay part of it and still be a positive influence.
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sprouts
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« Reply #44 on: 12 May 2010, 21:45:35 pm »

happiness is a state of mind. it's not an end.

u can'y be happy when u get something material, u can only be happy when u choose to be.
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