"All the single ladies"

[Soontomovehere]

I get the feeling this is a much-discussed topic, but am hoping people won't mind picking up the thread once more...

I'm moving to Singapore from London in September. I'm single, 30, and female. I'm also educated, intelligent and attractive. However, I've been told to expect to find myself at the bottom of the pile when it comes to dating in Singapore, precisely because I am an expat European and not a local lady? Is this really the case (I feel ridiculous writing it)??

Can some single expat ladies please tell me what to expect honestly...

[soontoleave]

Put it this way, I'm female, if you're coming here to get experience, build your career etc it's a good move.

You'll make friends and go out and do things so you'll be fine there - just don't expect nightly, weekly, monthly, annual romantic candle lit dinners with the man of YOUR choice.

You'll get the odd expat male asking you out. That being said, there's lots of choice in the local male market if you're not a snob.

Finally, I had to discover the hard way (no pun intended), that you have to be ready to put out. That doesn't mean you jump in bed with everyone but it does mean that it's expected or hoped for by most expat men here. And of course they'll all deny it. I would consider the alternative of seeking comfort with other expat women (read in that what you will).

[6 years here]

I'm a white female expat and I have a very different view.
I am by no way good looking. I am average looking with an average body (but I think a great personality). I've been here 6 years and have had a 3.5 year relationship with another expat man. Had quite a few dates (good and bad) and I'm now in a relationship that's been going on for 6 months.
I have 3 friends who met someone here and married. Many friends have met people and moved to other countries.
But I also know women who dated here with no relationships and went home to find a husband and have struggled to find anyone.
Dating is not easy any where. As singles (male and female) dating is about meeting people and seeing if they fit. My friends at home complain that dating is hard.
It amazes me that expat women say that it's hard to date here. I've watched women here who have that attitude and never find anyone nice. Yes there are men who only date Asian women but there are also guys and girls who only date short, tall, fat, skinny, blonde, brunette etc. It is a preference! 
There are many nice guys here in Singapore. Come with an open mind.

[Donna P]

Finally, I had to discover the hard way (no pun intended), that you have to be ready to put out. That doesn't mean you jump in bed with everyone but it does mean that it's expected or hoped for by most expat men here. And of course they'll all deny it.

Isn't that true of men the world over?

And indeed of many women. I certainly expected Mr P to put out (and indeed pay out  )

[indianmen]

from what i have seen, local indian men are queueuing up to date the expat women..so you dont have anything to worry about if you are open to dating them...lots of such indian men-white women relationships abound....i rarely see chinese men-white women though...

[8 years here]

I'm with 6 years here.  I met and married my husband here after years in Europe where dating was a nightmare (and salaries not so great either).  I know many expat women here who have met and married expat men, equally many who find it very difficult here.  If you only hope to meet someone in a bar think about it again.  I don't think it is that different to anywhere else. 

[soontoleave]

Sorry I'm totally wrong. All the women above are absolutely right. What was I even thinking. Notice how they're all married to Indians or Chinese. Yeah right.

Good luck. I'll wave to you from the plane.

[TO: soontoleave]

... and we will stick 2 fingers up to you.  Goodbye

[Soontomovehere]

Thanks all for the replies - a mixed bag, but nonetheless reassuring! It can't be worse than London... at least that's what I'll keep telling myself until I get there haha!

[what]

Thanks all for the replies - a mixed bag, but nonetheless reassuring! It can't be worse than London... at least that's what I'll keep telling myself until I get there haha!

what was so bad about london? so many white guys there to choose from i am sure?

[MUN]

Money doesn't buy everything, but it sure helps. . .

[Desperate Singles]

Sorry love, but London is going to seem like nirvana compared to this place!  I have only ever seen one good looking bloke here and he was wearing a wedding ring.   All the single ones seem to be complete tossers and the married ones are really after an Asian shag TBH.

Good luck - methinks you will need it!

[Regionally]

Singapore is such a tiny place.  A single white female shouldn't be restricted to expat men here.  They are in Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Hong Kong, China, Korea, Japan, Philippines.  Holidays or work stints in the Asian region may help you to come into contact with some of them.  Also Asian chicks have expat guys for friends so don't restrict your friendship to certain races.  Be open and sociable, as long as one doesn't focus too much on wondering: Am I going to get lucky this time??

If you don't give it a try you'll never know.  At the same time, you'll develop a new side to this Asian experience.

[bluetack]

well, there are always nice men and women around...sometimes they are just seating opposite you...say in the MRT, taking a lift..just a smile can be the start of a new friendship/relationship.

[str8fwd]

I am a 27 year old white male who has been in Singapore for almost one year. It is true that I have never seen a white woman with a Chinese man(whereas I see a lot of white guys with Asian women; I am myself dating one and am very happy). How do you explain that? Is it due to their physical features? Or are they just not interested in non Asia women?