Ok, so I'm the original poster - and I have to say that a lot of people have made a lot of assumptions that were quite funny.
No.1 - this is not a wind-up and I haven't responded to this post simply because I have been away on a business trip and simply did not have the time to check the expat forum.
No.2 - (and this is the funniest), the name "The little princess" has nothing to do with the way I see myself or how I was treated in my family - duh
. I was feeling sad and thought of the book "The Little Prince", which is one of my favorites. I was going to use "The little prince" as my moniker but then changed it to princ-ess to show I'm female.
No.3 - I love my family, but ours was never a happy family. No, my parents never spoilt me - in fact, I came from an abusive family but we have more or less made our peace.
No.4 - Say what you like about me being ungrateful, but I really don't see why I should pay a monthly stipend to my parents. If they ever need the money, they would never need to ask. If they want to go on a holiday, I would offer to pay for the travel (or at least part of it, since I have well to do siblings too, and we would share). It's about the expectations - and how I'm never good enough because I don't give them money every month.
I came to this conclusion because years ago, when I was in my first job, I struggled to give my mom some money every month. I was starting out at the time, paying my professional exam fees on my own, buying new furniture etc - since i was living on my own for the first time (not counting University). At the end of every month for those first few years, I would have just enough money for hawker meals and bus fare. I would be counting every $ to make sure I have enough to get to work and eat before the next paycheck. What did mom do? Nag me about how I wasn't giving as much as so and so's son and how is it that i spend so much? I even resorted to giving her a breakdown of my expenditure so she could see I really was giving what I could afford and not spending it all in luxuries.
In later years, I managed to save some money, but it was to pay for a postgraduate degree overseas. When I was offered a job abroad and decided I would no longer study overseas, I gave all that I saved to my mother and told her I would no longer give her money she didn't need.
And it was not about the money. I just got fed-up with the expectations and being compared with her friends' children and never matching up (whether or not that's true).
No.5 As for why the wedding is here rather than in Malaysia, that's simple. Shame on anyone who thinks that it's because it's "posher" to do it in Singapore. 99% of our friends are here (my fiance knows no one in Malaysia)! This is a simple small wedding, close friends + family only. It would make no sense to do it in Malaysia because we are organizing it all ourselves (why travel back and forths to organize?) - and we are doing it very simply.
No.6 - Yes, I don't visit often - and why? Because I get a earful when I'm home. My previous boyfriend wasn't good enough - no, not because he's not a nice person - but because (in my dad's words) - he's just a b%$##dy reporter (he's a journalist) and not good enough for me. And oh, he's "fat" so he's likely to have lots of health problems and they are ashamed that I would have someone like that for a boyfriend.
Well, we broke up - but not for any of the reasons my parents cited for why i should leave him. As it turns out, my parents like my fiance - but I'm with him not for the reasons why he's "acceptable" to my parents, but because he is simply a wonderful guy who is supportive and loving.
I can go on - but I won't. Maybe it's a culture thing, maybe I am ungrateful, maybe I am not the filial daughter a good Chinese girl should be - but maybe I am able to think for myself what I need to do and what I don't.
