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no cinderella complex
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« on: 08 February 2010, 8:59:54 am » |
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My partner and I are wanting a minimal fuss wedding with no bells, whistles or nonsense. His family are throwing tantrums about every detail, and mine are extremely dysfunctional and are already making me realise I don't want to spend my wedding day worrying about them breaking into a fight (not exaggerating). The costs of doing this are already mounting and that is also an issue.
We are now thinking we would just like to elope.
We are really looking for minimal fuss, possibly no guests at all, where the wedding would be a) legal b) civil - we are different religions and cannot marry in Indonesia or Malaysia because of this c) not going to cripple us financially.
Ideally, we would love a ten minute ceremony on beach or something over a weekend - and then get on with being a married couple! We are very realistic about this, and are seeing this as a moment in a day (admittedly a very big day), but the rest of the journey is where we are focused...
Please no comments on 'denying' anyone the joy of seeing their children marry etc. This is not a decision we have made lightly.
Thanks for any advice.
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ExpatSingapore Message Board
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« on: 08 February 2010, 8:59:54 am » |
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Perth?
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« Reply #1 on: 08 February 2010, 9:10:26 am » |
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5 hour flight...same time zone. Freemantle is a lovely little town/village (?) - although not really "Bali beach" material. Or there are a few beaches in Perth itself. I'm not Aussie so can't really help with locations but I'm sure you'll have a few on the board..
I totally agree you should be thinking of yourself, if you know it will all end in disaster! I am pleased you can see the big picture and realise it is "just a day" and you should focus on the marriage, not the wedding.
Congrats!
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BridetoBe
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« Reply #2 on: 08 February 2010, 9:45:57 am » |
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For similar reasons we have decided the same thing. We are going to ROM but get a celebrant (so you dont have to marry at ROM) and get married in a friends garden here in Singapore in a small wedding without fuss.
The other option would be go to to Thailand for the weekend, go stay somewhere lovely, tell hotel you want to get married, they will often arrange the wedding for you.
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Check the legalities
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« Reply #3 on: 08 February 2010, 10:24:07 am » |
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In Some countries (e.g. the UK) you need to be resident for at least a few weeks before you can get married.
Also make sure you get a mariage certificate in English or official translations (in several original copues, duly signed, stamped and sealed). I speak of the latter from experience. It was such a hassle that, in the end, we had another civil wedding in an English-speaking country just to have an English certificate!
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OP rawks
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« Reply #4 on: 08 February 2010, 10:41:05 am » |
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OP, I salute you, woohoo!
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vows
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« Reply #5 on: 08 February 2010, 13:25:02 pm » |
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I reckon Thailand could be the place. I hope you have a great day and I think you're doing the right thing. It's your day, not theirs.
Have a good one.
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solemnization
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« Reply #6 on: 08 February 2010, 18:16:18 pm » |
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Just go to the ROM with a friend as witness. Sign the paper - and you are legally married. Now, as to the honeymoon, take your time and take your pick...
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John Ramb8
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« Reply #7 on: 08 February 2010, 18:20:47 pm » |
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I just got married last August, and am painfully aware how 'our day' was nearly hijacked by constant family demands, expectations, and guilt-trips. This seems to be par for the course for weddings I'm afraid... I like the idea of eloping. I looked into Las Vegas, although the place seems pretty vulgar, and well, trashy. And Gretna Green in Scotland (but you have rather confusing advance registration requirements nowadays). With SG, after registering to marry, one of you needs to remain in the country for two weeks prior to the big day, so be alert if this sort of thing applies in other countries too. You could just do ROM. I recall they limit you to 12 people. So you and 10 guests. That way you won't have family crap about having not invited aunties next door neighbour, and you can say 'it's not us, it's ROM rules'. End of. Best of luck to you. p.s. In the end for us, due to 'Swine flu' ROM cut total attendance down to 8. Also, as I should have predicted the available dates were 'choped' online the instant they were available a month or so ahead, so we were stuffed. So we ended up having a little ceremony on a lawn at Raffles, with I think 20-22 guests. Small, classy, not that expensive in the scheme of things... a nice day...
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no cinderella complex
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« Reply #8 on: 08 February 2010, 20:48:50 pm » |
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Many thanks for your responses so far. Singapore is out of the question due to certain religious conflicts with civil weddings...
We have looked at Thailand, and are thinking that could work for us.
Anyone ever been to a wedding in Hong Kong? The beaches there look ok, and I like that all the registration and legalities can be done online beforehand... (Am I overlooking something?)
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HK might work
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« Reply #9 on: 08 February 2010, 21:12:05 pm » |
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Cannot speak from first hand experience, but I believe you are correct about getting all of your ducks in a row in advance. I'm not sure about the wedding on a beach idea there though. I thought you'd have to use the Registry on Queensway or in in a licenced venue (hotel, club etc) but I may be corrected on this. If it is possible, you could hire a junk and head out to one of the beaches north of Sai Kung or one of the islands. If you do it midweek, could have the whole place to yourselves.
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aussiegirl2
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« Reply #10 on: 08 February 2010, 23:48:35 pm » |
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We are aussie and thought about ROM but have a funny feeling about tying knot in Singa since we don't totally love it here. Even making a baby in this country somehow seems jinxed.
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what about...
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« Reply #11 on: 09 February 2010, 8:53:59 am » |
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denying your family the joy of seeing you get married 
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Gotta ask
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« Reply #12 on: 09 February 2010, 9:14:43 am » |
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We are aussie and thought about ROM but have a funny feeling about tying knot in Singa since we don't totally love it here. Even making a baby in this country somehow seems jinxed.
Then why the #$(#)! are you here? If you feel so negative about being in Singapore, then please go back to your beloved land of Oz and make your xenophobic little babies there.
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Have to agree
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« Reply #13 on: 09 February 2010, 9:52:56 am » |
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aussiegirl2 that was a really moronic comment 
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Scummy Mummy
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« Reply #14 on: 09 February 2010, 15:39:02 pm » |
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The Laguna complex in Phuket has a "wedding chapel" by the lagoon - looks very nice from a distance. I imagine if you contact the Banyan Tree at the Laguna they probably do weddings all the time.
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