The dating scene for expat women

[Aphrodite]

I've been in Singapore for almost a year now. Do other expat women here find the dating scene tough - or I hate to use the word - "competitive"?
The expat men here seem to prefer local women who may not have as much in common with them. Surely such a friendship or relationship cannot just survive on smiles alone?

I'm seriously thinking of packing up and heading home 'cos the dating scene seems so dismal.

[Strange]

You say expat men do not have that much in common with local women but "expat" is not a homogeneous term and expats come from many locations and do not have a lot in common with each other. 
Just having a white, European face does not mean that you have much els in common.

Have you considered dating local men?

[Strange]

To PP:  I don't suppose you get around much.  If you did you would notice that there are a goodly number of Ang Moh women with local partners.  (I am not a local btw). 

I was just intrigued to see that OP considered only expat men regardless of their origins.  Of course, if that is her way of saying she only finds European men sexually attractive,then that is fine but her post talks about having things in common and I cannot see what an Aussie (say) would necessarilyy have in common with a French person or what an American with a German....

[Aphrodite]

I did date an Australian Indian guy based here for a while and he would have left many of the expat "white" men here for dead. But he wasn't on an expat contract which made it difficult e.g. I'd like to go to Hongkong for the weekend and he couldn't afford to. I flew Business Class and he could only afford economy.

Sure he wasn't local but from the same background as some of the locals... the point is you're trying to use the "r" word on me but it's failing miserably isn't it? Not sure what "needle pants"  poster is trying to imply though.

[Strange]

Nah...I'm not calling you a racist but I do notice that there is some assumption on this site that all expats are the same (or v nearly so). 

What you say about financial differences makes sense but then there are some high-earning, well-to-do locals too and not all expats want to spend money like water.  Some want to save money for return to their home countries.  Some don't earn big money but are here to weather the recession back home.  Some aren't in highly paid industries and are here to experience a different part of the world.

So, to sum up, you are looking for a narrow subset of a  socio-economic group which is clearly never going to be numerous enough (and is itself attractive to / attracted by the locals).  Hence the reason you are a bit on the shelf.

Hope this helps.

[double standards]

I did date an Australian Indian guy based here for a while and he would have left many of the expat "white" men here for dead. But he wasn't on an expat contract which made it difficult e.g. I'd like to go to Hongkong for the weekend and he couldn't afford to. I flew Business Class and he could only afford economy.

When an expat female wants to date a rich guy, she's "normal". When an Asian female wants to date a rich guy, she's a gold digger and SPG. How ironic.

[expat man]

Actually, you'd be surprised how many Western expat men here prefer Western women.  I know several US and European guys here in their thirties who have trouble connecting with the local women (what do you talk about other than food, shopping, your last holiday, American Idol contestants...?)   And as said here, it's not a racial thing but cultural.  And sure, and Australian could be said to be very different from a German, but safe to say that the people here are extremely pragmatic -- if something is not directly useful it's usually not interesting to them -- whereas in Western countries, people take interest in things for their own sake.  I'm thinking about interest in the arts, philosophy, history.  And then I also find local women usually too conservative for my taste, I rarely meet one who has the same sense of humor (not a problem in Europe), I rarely see one who dresses the way I like (think NY designer/artsy), etc. etc.

Anyway, there might be hope for Aphrodite.   I think it's actually much easier for expat women than for expat men.

[Strange]

By the way, is there a "dating scene" for expats?  We all know where to meet locals, but where is the "scene" for meeting single expats?

[notsoworthless]

By the way, is there a "dating scene" for expats?  We all know where to meet locals, but where is the "scene" for meeting single expats?

Try Clarke Quay. Most of my expat friends go there to meet up with other expats, single or otherwise. A lot of locals, too and some "interesting" foreigners.

[rameshkumarg]

You say expat men do not have that much in common with local women but "expat" is not a homogeneous term and expats come from many locations and do not have a lot in common with each other. 
Just having a white, European face does not mean that you have much els in common.

Have you considered dating local men?

[single teachers]

There must be hoards of expat single teachers/lecturers on postings. Befriend a single female teacher and you'll be able to enter the world of where teachers go on their days off! Sports - men generally will be wakeboarding, windsurfing, dragon boating, watching football etc. get involved. Or, drinking - go down to boat quay.

[well....]

Single teachers don't earn enough to fly on business class. Not at all good enough for OP.

[Regardless]

I did date an Australian Indian guy based here for a while and he would have left many of the expat "white" men here for dead. But he wasn't on an expat contract which made it difficult e.g. I'd like to go to Hongkong for the weekend and he couldn't afford to. I flew Business Class and he could only afford economy.

which country you are, dating by your standards will be challenging. What you are looking for is guys who flew via business class, dine in michelin rated restaurants only and probably own their own yacht. In general, that constitute less than 1% of the general population. I don't really think it has anything to do with race or nationality.

The expat men here seem to prefer local women who may not have as much in common with them. Surely such a friendship or relationship cannot just survive on smiles alone?

To say expat men here prefer local women who may not have as much in common is a sweeping statement. In generally, I don't think anyone prefer someone who may not have as much in common, whether she is local or non-local. A fairer statement is probably, some expat men feels that local women may have qualities they are seeking.

Personally, I think its harder to date, once you leave high school, start working and gain some form of independence. Here, I am obviously not referring to Singaporeans who are still living with their parents in their 30s.

With a reasonably successful career behind us, we tend to be "set" in their own ways (applicable to both male or female). We have our own circle of friends, planned our own vacations, do things our own way. We also have our own opinions about things, are more pragmatic about life and things around us, and less willing to compromise. Like you said, if you are traveling via business class, and your bf can only afford economy (regardless if he is a local/expat), there is a subtle feeling that you deserve better because you have achieved so much, on your own.

At the end of the day, you need to decide for yourself, if monetary versus connection. Everyone wants both, but wanting doesn't mean you can get it.

Good luck in your search!

[Not DS]

I did date an Australian Indian guy based here for a while and he would have left many of the expat "white" men here for dead. But he wasn't on an expat contract which made it difficult e.g. I'd like to go to Hongkong for the weekend and he couldn't afford to. I flew Business Class and he could only afford economy.

When an expat female wants to date a rich guy, she's "normal". When an Asian female wants to date a rich guy, she's a gold digger and SPG. How ironic.

It's Gold Digging either way!

[Strange]

I think folk are being unfair on the OP by calling her a gold digger.  The woman is willing to pay her own way.

Admittedly, she is a bit inflexible if she's not willing to trade down to economy class to keep the relationship going.
Successful relationships are based on a lot of give and take.  Those who don't have much give in them shouldn't complain if they don't find a lot of success in relationships.