Keeping a Concubine

[Kubes.SG]

The thing that I just don't get is how wives in Singapore (and many Chinese cultures) accept and allow their husbands to conduct adultery openly and reregularily.

Jack Neo admits affair
* He confesses to 2-year affair with 22-year-old model.
* Wife knows about it but chooses to 'close one eye'

JACK Neo, Singapore's most successful film-maker, has confessed to a two-year affair with a freelance model less than half his age after the young woman exposed it by showing up at his Pasir Ris semi-detached home.

Chinese evening daily Lianhe Wanbao said Miss Wendy Chong, 22, was upset that Neo, 50, had apparently lied to her and demanded to see his wife on Friday. Neo met Chong when she got a bit role as a nurse in his movie, Money No Enough 2, two years ago, and has a meatier role as Mark Lee's sister-in-law in his latest film, Being Human, which opened on Thursday, said The New Paper on Sunday.

The 1.63m tall model said Neo took her on trips overseas, including Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. 'I would go shopping while he work. After he finished his work, we would meet up and enjoy our time together,' she told TNP on Sunday.

Lianhe Wanbao said she had tried calling Jack several times on Friday but he did not answer her calls. She then went to Jack's home at about 3 pm and waited till he returned home. She told him she wanted to go in and talk to his wife, Madam Irene Kng, 46. To her surprise, Neo let her into the house and called his wife to come downstairs.

Chong said Madam Kng's reaction to her husband's affair shocked her. 'She asked me, 'What do you want?' She said that she did not care about who Jack involved with as she was content that she loved him.' The three of them later left for a meeting in a restaurant at Changi Airport's Crowne Plaza Hotel in a car driven by Madam Kng.

Jack admitted to Lianhe Wanbao that he was at fault, adding that he felt terrible but had been unable to end the affair as Chong had threatened to harm herself, and that he was worried that his wife could not forgive him.

In a surprising revelation, Madam Kng said she had known about the affair for a year but she chose to 'close one eye' and did not confront her husband. -- LIANHE WANBAO

[Expatica]

I think it's far worse that Tiger Woods wife Elin Nordegren has moved back into their home and is reunited with him, despite him cheating on her with at least 13 other women.

How about Hillary Clinton, despite Bill's many affairs with other women?

In the UK the wife of Chelsea and England football player John Terry has forgiven him despite his betrayal of her on numerous occasions.

There are many, many other women in similar situations all over the world.

Personally I don't understand it and would have given a cheating husband the boot. However, for some reason it seems that some women are prepared to put up with public and private humiliation to keep their lifestyle/status/money.   

[better the devil]

It's not really humiliation if they know all about it. 

I guess that for the wife, they've got the guy living with them, he pays for everything and they don't have to worry about money or having to go out dating again plus they don't have to go through a messy divorce.  It seems strange but I've got relatives who are in a similar situation and have been for years - they're in their 70s now and he's still got a girlfriend (who must be in her 60s) and this has been going on since the 1960s.  The wife knows about it and they just carry on their married life as normal with him disappearing off one or two evenings per week.  Maybe she's just glad he's getting his bedroom antics elsewhere these days!

But concubines - aren't they the ones which charge backwards at you with their spikes raised?   

[JR8]

One of my relatives has two wives. Not that much different from having a concubine.

[Here we go again...]

"The thing that I don't get..."

Another troll

[MONEY]

Remember it this is Singapore. It is all about MONEY. Here you can get away with having a bit on the side, the wife will turn a blind eye but when things get ugly is when you start spending a lot of money on the girlfriend. Hell hath no fury like a Singaporean woman whose husband has spent her money on another

[$Pripps]

I think it's far worse that Tiger Woods wife Elin Nordegren has moved back into their home and is reunited with him, despite him cheating on her with at least 13 other women.

How about Hillary Clinton, despite Bill's many affairs with other women?

In the UK the wife of Chelsea and England football player John Terry has forgiven him despite his betrayal of her on numerous occasions.

There are many, many other women in similar situations all over the world.

Personally I don't understand it and would have given a cheating husband the boot. However, for some reason it seems that some women are prepared to put up with public and private humiliation to keep their lifestyle/status/money.   

seems to be two different things. the above are examples of forgiveness, whereas having a wife turning a blind eye is something completely different.

[scorn]

Hilary is an example of forgiveness, rather than turning a blind eye to serial adultery?

Oh, please.

[$Pripps]

Hilary is an example of forgiveness, rather than turning a blind eye to serial adultery?

Oh, please.

How would you know?

[Agent007]

Perhaps those complaining are too fat and ugly or in OP's case too boring to have a bit on the side.

[Why?]

Actually multiple sexual partners for males is a natural part of the order of things. Take a look at our closest relatives the great apes. Gorillas, Chimpanzees, and Bonobos all indulge in a bit of nudge nudge hows your father with the ladies of their tribe. Only wimpish animals like penguins and sea horses are monogamous.

Take a look at human cultures. The traditional Chinese and Indian cultures, and Muslim culture all recognise that men need more than just one wife- and so are realistic about this. Its only been recently that we have been getting all PC like, and accepting this monogamy malarkey. Western culture too might pretend to be monogamous but in actual fact has a fine tradition of philandering. Prostitutes, affairs, F-buddies are all just diffrent forms of polygamy.

Western Style marriage?  Whats that- you mean like Bill Clinton or Silvio Berlusconi- both leaders of major western powers? They showed the world exactly what they think of the namby pamby idea of monogamy? 

And how about when Mitterand died a few years back. Leader of a major western civilisation and who was standing at his coffin at the official state funeral. His wife and children, and his mistress and love child. See, the French get it. Polygamy is normal for an Alpha male. Let's not even get started on Tiger Woods or John Terry.

And if you want to know more about Judeo Christian values why not read the Bible. David, Solomon, Abraham- they all had multiple wives and concubines. What could be more western than that?

Monogamy is just a thin veneer. Go to Tanglin mall on a saturday and you'll see happy expat families smiling at each other . Go to OT at night and you'll see those same hubbys entertaining young Vietnamese maidens.

Thats the way the world is. Always has been, always will be

[Changing world]

The world we live in today has changed significantly for the better when it comes to relationships and the woman's role, unfortunately Singapore (and Asian) woman have not caught up just yet.  It was only 30 years ago when a divorced woman was shunned from her community in the Western world but now society accepts marriage breakdowns as acceptable and often a good move especially in dysfunctional and abusive circumstances.  All parties can be open and move on when adultery is committed and not have to concern themselves so much with how society views them.  Women have also empowered themselves over several decades becoming independant freethinking individuals strong enough to hold their own in society rather than needing a man to derive income or security. 

On the other side, there will always be those that marry for security rather than love and are happy to turn a blind but had they married for love the husband/wife may not have strayed so you could say it's Karma.

[Kubes.SG]

Good thoughts here, but unfortunately the BMs removed a couple of my paragraphs where I showed the weirdness of this place where it is extremely prudish/conservative in many areas (legally and morally), yet happily allow prostitution and having second wives.  That is what I did not get.  Wish they had left my full message there.

Also no one commented on that fact that Neo, his wife and the girlfriend met in his house, then went out to dinner together - a happy three-some.  Just bizarre.

Sure Alpha Males in western countries might have affairs and produce love-children, but I would bet that if the wife and girlfriend every met in private there would skin, hair and fingernails flying in all directions.   (Of course, I would expect some dignity at a funeral).

[$Pripps]

Kubes, I think you should start blogging and then giving just the link, that way we can always read what you write - and all locals who are interested in another opinion part from the "official" one

[better the devil]

Also no one commented on that fact that Neo, his wife and the girlfriend met in his house, then went out to dinner together - a happy three-some.  Just bizarre.

some people are just OK with it.  A lot of women lose their desire a bit when they get older, especially after children - it doesn't mean they don't love their husbands, but if there's some way to keep him happy but still live with him they might be glad to do it.