Another cultural weekend

[A view]

Another weekend of local culture...
- At the playground a few kids waiting for a turn on the swing behind a local mother pushing her kid...2mins...5 mins...7mins...10mins, so I ask "Are you going to tell your child to give some of the other kids a turn?". Her reply "my daughter not finish yet".
- At Timezone there are two popular arcade machines; two young local kids playing on them...2mins...5mins...7mins...10mins...swiping their timezone cards again and again and again without any regard for the other kids waiting behind them for a turn. Their parents standing nearby texting and chatting on their mobiles.
- In the swimming pool, a few people swimming up and down doing laps. Two local kids playing around constantly getting in the lanes of the swimmers, when the entire one side of the pool is free. Their parents sitting on the side of the pool, oblivious...

I can respect different cultures and values and rituals, having lived in lots of countries. But on saying that, here it is a very ugly culture for a city. Absolutely no social grace, consideration or respect. No common courtesy. Utterly selfish. Well, I've explained the way things are here to my young children. They now know to use whatever is free; don't waste time waiting for a turn on anything; and not to give a sh*t about others waiting for a turn if they are using something!
When in Rome...     

[Yes,]

have had many similar experiences! Seems consideration for others is alien here.
Catching a bus, as a newcomer, was a real eye-opener! Absolutely no queue, just a massive surge forward! And even if you are the only one at a stop, if someone else comes along they scramble on in front of you! 

[SAE]

Another weekend of local culture...
- At the playground a few kids waiting for a turn on the swing behind a local mother pushing her kid...2mins...5 mins...7mins...10mins, so I ask "Are you going to tell your child to give some of the other kids a turn?". Her reply "my daughter not finish yet".
- At Timezone there are two popular arcade machines; two young local kids playing on them...2mins...5mins...7mins...10mins...swiping their timezone cards again and again and again without any regard for the other kids waiting behind them for a turn. Their parents standing nearby texting and chatting on their mobiles.
- In the swimming pool, a few people swimming up and down doing laps. Two local kids playing around constantly getting in the lanes of the swimmers, when the entire one side of the pool is free. Their parents sitting on the side of the pool, oblivious...

I can respect different cultures and values and rituals, having lived in lots of countries. But on saying that, here it is a very ugly culture for a city. Absolutely no social grace, consideration or respect. No common courtesy. Utterly selfish. Well, I've explained the way things are here to my young children. They now know to use whatever is free; don't waste time waiting for a turn on anything; and not to give a sh*t about others waiting for a turn if they are using something!
When in Rome...     

And you think this doesnt happen in a play ground in the UK?  What about the teenage yobs/neds that wont let your young child go near the swings as they are busy sharing a splif whilst they are bunking from school!  C'mon get a grip. you need to get a life if you are complaining about a whole culture over some kid hogging a swing    BTW teaching your young children to do what you have is wrong, maybe try teaching them that others do things differently and whilst it might not be what you would want them to do they should understand difference and not judge it!  Perhaps showing them an alternative way of behaviour would benefit them long term, what do you think?

[Nope -]

Another weekend of local culture...
- At the playground a few kids waiting for a turn on the swing behind a local mother pushing her kid...2mins...5 mins...7mins...10mins, so I ask "Are you going to tell your child to give some of the other kids a turn?". Her reply "my daughter not finish yet".
- At Timezone there are two popular arcade machines; two young local kids playing on them...2mins...5mins...7mins...10mins...swiping their timezone cards again and again and again without any regard for the other kids waiting behind them for a turn. Their parents standing nearby texting and chatting on their mobiles.
- In the swimming pool, a few people swimming up and down doing laps. Two local kids playing around constantly getting in the lanes of the swimmers, when the entire one side of the pool is free. Their parents sitting on the side of the pool, oblivious...

I can respect different cultures and values and rituals, having lived in lots of countries. But on saying that, here it is a very ugly culture for a city. Absolutely no social grace, consideration or respect. No common courtesy. Utterly selfish. Well, I've explained the way things are here to my young children. They now know to use whatever is free; don't waste time waiting for a turn on anything; and not to give a sh*t about others waiting for a turn if they are using something!
When in Rome...     

And you think this doesnt happen in a play ground in the UK?  What about the teenage yobs/neds that wont let your young child go near the swings as they are busy sharing a splif whilst they are bunking from school!  C'mon get a grip. you need to get a life if you are complaining about a whole culture over some kid hogging a swing    BTW teaching your young children to do what you have is wrong, maybe try teaching them that others do things differently and whilst it might not be what you would want them to do they should understand difference and not judge it!  Perhaps showing them an alternative way of behaviour would benefit them long term, what do you think?

I won't teach my child that being rude and inconsiderate should be accepted just because it is another culture and that it's an "alternative way of behaviour". It's just not the same thing at all. And I also have never experienced a kid smoking a splif blocking my child from a swing in the UK 

[A view]

To SAE...Common courtesy is generally the norm in a lot of societies: giving way, respecting others around you, being polite. It's a fallacy to suggest this is not the case. I'm teaching my kids the reality of Singapore. We are 'appreciating' cultural differences, good and bad. You think I'm going to teach my kids to be polite or give way or give turns when locals don't give a sh*t about reciprocating? Hell, they probably have some crazy idea that they have 'gained face' by one-upping the foreigner by embracing such behavior. I don't think so. My kids will learn how things are, and behave accordingly. They know how to be polite in a culture that values such, and vice versa. And, last thing, if the government can't change the local mindset with courtesy commercials, why should anyone else bother?   

[shioked]

To SAE...Common courtesy is generally the norm in a lot of societies: giving way, respecting others around you, being polite. It's a fallacy to suggest this is not the case. I'm teaching my kids the reality of Singapore. We are 'appreciating' cultural differences, good and bad. You think I'm going to teach my kids to be polite or give way or give turns when locals don't give a sh*t about reciprocating? Hell, they probably have some crazy idea that they have 'gained face' by one-upping the foreigner by embracing such behavior. I don't think so. My kids will learn how things are, and behave accordingly. They know how to be polite in a culture that values such, and vice versa. And, last thing, if the government can't change the local mindset with courtesy commercials, why should anyone else bother?   

while i agree with the first couple of sentences, i'm not so sure about the last part. when your singapore stint is over and you head back home, do you think your kids can easily drop their singapore-acquired manners? old dogs can't learn new tricks, so what they learn now will stick with them for a long time, probably throughout their lifetime. are these the values you want your children to have?

[Suggestion]

I agree with the PP.  You're clearly not happy here OP.  Either learn to live with it or leave but please don't poison your children too.  They'll be pretty unpopular wherever you live next if you teach them to be obnoxious.

[Half Full]

For all the complaints I read on this forum about how impolite Singaporeans are, I can cite incident after incident where a local has offered a seat on a bus or has smiled and held a door open for me. OP, maybe people will be nicer to you if you are nicer to them.

As for the When in Rome sentiment of the OP, I can't agree that the best solution is to teach children deliberate selfishness and discourtesy in an us-versus-them way. How exactly is that building character?  

[A view]

Don't worry, we have raised our kids by our home culture and values. I am simply now instructing them about their temporary 'host' culture. They are able to differentiate, just as I am. Through travel and exposure, my kids also spend a lot of time in other cultures. So there is no danger of them becoming 'poisoned'. If you want to whitewash your kids' world and let others with no manners tread all over them, be my guest! Building character? No, this is about teaching them to stick up for themselves, and to recognise when they should.

[Suggestion]

I meant to add that I have had so much help here from locals who carry a stroller up and down steps with me, hold doors open etc. etc.  Maybe it's down to your own attitude?

On the other hand, the worst queue jumping that I have seen is by Europeans pushing in at airports (especially in Phuket).  They all claim to have flights to catch (wonder why they think we're there?).

[Half Full]

Are you teaching them how to stick up for themselves or how to make a mountain out of a molehill or carry a chip? I'd rather teach my child to smile, walk away and find a more worthy cause.

[Agree to both!]

I agree with both OP and SAE.  

OP is correct in saying that there is an absence of social graces here.  It is not only limited to the playgorund though.  The driving is a recurring topic on this forum.  I also can't help remembering that when I was on the London underground or buses with my 4 year old daughter, people always used to give up their seats and nobody does here.  

As the same time SAE is correct that playgrounds in the UK can be quite rough.  
My worst experience was with this family consisting of a heavily tattoed mother (with lots of metal stuck into his nose, ears, eyebrows, tongue and elsewhere) looking drunk / drugged sitting in a swing and being pushed by 4 multi-coloured kids (some white some mixed race) from upper teenagers down to about six year old.
They started picking on us, staring, bumping into us etc. and we moved on sharpish not wanting to be stabbed.

On balance, I'd take the overall safe yet graceless Singapore over the overall polite but frequently dangerous and violent London.  
(NB, I love London for a lot of reasons but having lived there 32 years, I am presently glad to be away from it and I think everything has gone downhill there from a societal point of view).

[$Pripps]

Another weekend of local culture...
- At the playground a few kids waiting for a turn on the swing behind a local mother pushing her kid...2mins...5 mins...7mins...10mins, so I ask "Are you going to tell your child to give some of the other kids a turn?". Her reply "my daughter not finish yet".
- At Timezone there are two popular arcade machines; two young local kids playing on them...2mins...5mins...7mins...10mins...swiping their timezone cards again and again and again without any regard for the other kids waiting behind them for a turn. Their parents standing nearby texting and chatting on their mobiles.
- In the swimming pool, a few people swimming up and down doing laps. Two local kids playing around constantly getting in the lanes of the swimmers, when the entire one side of the pool is free. Their parents sitting on the side of the pool, oblivious...

I can respect different cultures and values and rituals, having lived in lots of countries. But on saying that, here it is a very ugly culture for a city. Absolutely no social grace, consideration or respect. No common courtesy. Utterly selfish. Well, I've explained the way things are here to my young children. They now know to use whatever is free; don't waste time waiting for a turn on anything; and not to give a sh*t about others waiting for a turn if they are using something!
When in Rome...    

Strange I have experienced the opposite, maybe I am inconsiderate too, my son was sitting on a car ride for a few minutes but he didn't want me to put in any coins and a Singaporean(?) was standing next saying loudly in a rude fashion to let her daughter ride (despite the fact there was another car beside it that was empty).  What's up with this impatience?

[I see]

Another weekend of local culture...
- At the playground a few kids waiting for a turn on the swing behind a local mother pushing her kid...2mins...5 mins...7mins...10mins, so I ask "Are you going to tell your child to give some of the other kids a turn?". Her reply "my daughter not finish yet".
- At Timezone there are two popular arcade machines; two young local kids playing on them...2mins...5mins...7mins...10mins...swiping their timezone cards again and again and again without any regard for the other kids waiting behind them for a turn. Their parents standing nearby texting and chatting on their mobiles.
- In the swimming pool, a few people swimming up and down doing laps. Two local kids playing around constantly getting in the lanes of the swimmers, when the entire one side of the pool is free. Their parents sitting on the side of the pool, oblivious...

I can respect different cultures and values and rituals, having lived in lots of countries. But on saying that, here it is a very ugly culture for a city. Absolutely no social grace, consideration or respect. No common courtesy. Utterly selfish. Well, I've explained the way things are here to my young children. They now know to use whatever is free; don't waste time waiting for a turn on anything; and not to give a sh*t about others waiting for a turn if they are using something!
When in Rome...     

Strange I have experienced the opposite, maybe I am inconsiderate too, my son was sitting on a car ride for a few minutes but he didn't want me to put in any coins and a Singaporean was standing next saying loudly in a rude fashion to let her daughter ride (despite the fact there was another car beside it that was empty).  What's up with this impatience?

your point Pripps but you know how it is with kids - it's got to be THAT car! 

[Racism]

Don't worry, we have raised our kids by our home culture and values. I am simply now instructing them about their temporary 'host' culture. They are able to differentiate, just as I am. Through travel and exposure, my kids also spend a lot of time in other cultures. So there is no danger of them becoming 'poisoned'. If you want to whitewash your kids' world and let others with no manners tread all over them, be my guest! Building character? No, this is about teaching them to stick up for themselves, and to recognise when they should.

Now I know how racism starts.  The parents "instructs" the child that their ways are correct and to stand up for your rights.