Lots of people give it a second go (I probably wouldn't but you don't really know until it happens).
If you are a local you should be more than aware of this, maybe less this generation but turning a blind eye as a wife in Singapore was standard practice.
"giving it a second go" really depends on your own threshold of tolerance and comfort level. except (hopefully) you'd have your eyes fully wide open this time round.
ultimately, a gamble that could go either way.
1) make the relationship, trust-issues and communication stronger
2) re-awaken you to the warning signs each time it happens (in the case of 'once a cheater, always a cheater' types). it's probably in their natural defence-mechanism to look for an escape route or immediate gratification, whenever life-things get tough.
'turning a blind eye' worked in many traditional cultures.
especially in social circles where it was-is important to maintain status quo. be it for f'ace', or security (husband is the sole meal ticket for years) with no other support system in place.
in Asian culture: wives of previous generations too often thought-think this is their 'destiny' in life and maintain status quo for various 'face' (and financial) reasons.
i still encounter this mindset sometimes in educated (ie with a university degree) women from the more traditional, but paternalistic cultures (China, Taiwan, Korea for eg). you'd think they'd be more emanicipated. what is a scary thought is when they are in their 30s-40s (and raising daughters themselves) === a familial line from such women would be:
"my husband says" .....
having affairs or keeping another on the side is still quite acceptable in modernistic HK (and China) as well - just check out the society tabloids. in addition, there is always a ready bevy of starlets in the movie and model industry who do not mind. materialism reigns supreme.
if the husband is still providing as usual, often the wife doesn't bat an eyelid unless his affair makes her 'lose face'' (ie becomes too public).
in Asian culture: wives of previous generations too often thought this was their 'destiny' in life and maintained status quo for various 'face' (and financial) reasons. often they weren't strong enough to leave (and face stigma from society or other social challenges), or had reservations when children are involved, or not willing to duke it out themselves.
so they stayed on stoically in long expired and dead marriages. in sadly in some cases - abusive marriages as well.
even in the Western private school crowd ... it is NOT hard to see educated (retired) 'trophy ladies who do tennis and lunch' and 'people who throw scintillating parties and dinner' = ie established first wives who are too used to their clubs, teacup chihuahuss and Yoga lifestyles to want to rock the boat. they often turn a blind eye too, if the opposition is NOT too threatening.
and sadly, there are always willing single girls who don't mind being the 3rd wheel.
in the West: i personally knew of a professor-head of department, with grown children who are professionals. wife is another professor, in the same related department. he has been engaged in an ongoing affair with a PhD student/asst.lecturer student for years. gradnfatherly type of guy. apparently, it was quite an open secret when we were undergraduates. wife lives with the fact. husband and wife have quite an amicable relationship actually, you'd never know. I wouldn't have guessed, except i'd bumped into them a couple of times in restaurants (the non-family type) and started noticing.
:"happy families" aren't always what they seem. it's amazing how often i am hit on the head with the realisation: life's a stage.
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