adoption

[Ickenham]

Can anyone please advise me on adoption agencies in Singapore? My husband and I recently moved to Singapore from the UK and after a painful 8 years trying to conceive we decided to look into adoption. We are currently going through the HSR application process. I am Singaporean and my husband is British and we're looking to adopt from Malaysia or Vietnam. I know people aren't allowed to give any names on the forum but I'm finding it really hard to know which adoption agencies are reliable to use. So if anyone can help please please please contact me!

[mum 2-2]

Are you intending to move back to the UK? Will the child have a UK passport? There is no bilateral agreement between the UK and Vietnam therefore adoptions are not automatically recognised by the UK. I know there were changes in the law which came into force in Jan, although I'm not sure of the specifics. I would recommend you contact the High Comm here for advice.  Malaysia may also cause problems for someone wanting to change from a Malaysian passport to a UK one. My (adopted) daughter was born in Malaysia and we had a long hard fight on our hands with the Home Office. In fact, visiting the UK was the most difficult place to visit before we got her UK passport.
Contact Touch Community Services. Ask them to recommend agencies, but make sure you speak with the British High Comm here (Irene Thomas is a huge help) first. They will confirm to you which countries are open to you.
It would be good if you get in contact with Touch as they could tell you about the upcoming event with TAFNET (Touch Adoptive Families Network). There, you could meet with adoptive parents and get first hand advice on everything you need to know (and then some!) Good Luck to you on your journey. 

[sorrytohear]

I do not know about adoption so won't comment on that but I just wanted to let you know that there are some really fantastic doctors who specialize in fertility here if you also want to carry on that route. I would imagine that pursuing fertility treatment in the UK would be a logistical nightmare whereas here you do not have that problem. Just my tuppence worth. Of course, I also think adopting a child is a fantastic too. We had fertility problems and luckily for us we had the luxury of addressing it here in HK.

[sorrybut]

the only people that think fertility treatments and doctors here are good are those that have been successful. You have no idea what it is like to continue through treatment after treatment with nothing at the end. I have had treatment in Singapore and all the doctors I saw were "really fantastic".Just my tuppence worth

[sorrytohear]

My point was that if you live somewhere e.g. London where you have to travel a couple of hours, hang around, get your husband off work this adds stress on top of an already stressful situation. In Singapore or HK often the woman is not working and can get quick appointments and not have a commute.

I am sorry it didn't work out for you. But to assume that I do not know what it is like is unfair because I battled it for 7 years and it was the worst tim win my whole life.

Anyway, back to the post which is about adoption.

[archives]

Hi OP:

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles to become a mother. There is a lovely poster on this forum called "Scummymummy." She is British, adopted her child whilst living in Singapore, and now lives in Australia. She has been very helpful in the past re providing information to other (prospective) adoptive parents. If you search the archives, you will see some of her posts. It might be worth sending her a private message, too. I will alert her of your post here.

[Ickenham]

Thank you so much for all your advice! It's the first time I've used this so it was really nice to get some response! My husband is British and I am a Singapore citizen, so we weren't bothered about the child being a British citizen - we were sort of hoping the child could become a Singapore citizen. But given what you've mentioned about the child having a Malaysian passport and having problems coming into the UK I think I will investigate further as advised! I've emailed Touch for advice - I suppose I have to get used the slightly delayed email responses of Singapore organisations! any more advice please keep it coming!

[mum 2-2]

try calling for info if possible. There is an upcoming social event organised by TAFNET being held October 1st. I think it could be beneficial to go along, there will be plenty of adoptive parents for you and your husband to chat to:-)

[Scummy Mummy]

Lovely, moi? Nah, mate.

Not sure who was planning to alert me and how (I think I probably registered here with a now-defunct e-mail address) but I am indeed happily ensconsed here in Australia but was doing somethng really boring yesterday so clicked on this site.

OP: Bear in mind that Mini is now almost 5, so a lot of what I know is out of date.

Touch Adoption Services: I (and some others) found them generally unhelpful to expats - no accurate advice and they suggested psychological testing for single adopters.

British High Comm: Reasonably helpful, but didn't really seem to know the process (if you want child to have British passport). Having said that, I know a few people who've done this in the last 5 years so they should be a bit more clued up now.

TAFNET: There's also a yahoo group. THe lady that runs it (Wei Lee?) is really nice and helpful. She works for Touch.

Email is SingaporeAdoptSupport @ yahoogroups.com (BM: please don't delete this!)

You could also contact MCYS directly - as you're Singaporean you'll get priority for a Singaporean child.

Didn't Singapore adopt the Hague convention recently? Should make it easier to get a UK passport.

I'll PM you the name of the agent we used.

Good luck.