City or Country - where would you prefer to live with kids?

[goingbacksoon]

We have lived in singapore for the past years where our children were born. I quiet liked the fact that they were able to use the pool and the courtyard of our condominium. Still I was always looking forward to move back to Europe where we could probably enjoy more nature. Now its time to go back and we are moving to a city where we have not been before. I wonder if it is better to stay in an apartment within the city with many shops, restaurant, schools and other things in walking distance. Or should we stay out of the city more towards the country where we could have a big garden and more space?
I see that many of our friends are buying or building their own house usually a bit further from the city. Somehow I always felt that this is not my kind of thing. However I used to grow up in a small town too, with a big garden and plenty of fields around and I see the advantage for the kids. But I am scared to be lonely and that I will miss all the opportunites a city has to offer.
What would you do?

[Grace.]

It's a totally individual choice, both have advantages and disadvantages, and no-one but you will know what is best for you.

Me: I couldn't live in a city when we move back, but I'm a bit of a country girl.  I can't wait to go for country walks with a dog, where the kids can tear around, climb trees, pick blackberries etc.  Even though I lived in London for years before we came here I could never go back to the traffic and the number of people etc.  I'll miss having restaurants etc close by, but I'll love going to English pubs!

But that's me, you have to make your own decisions....

[excitygirl]

We are heading back to Europe, well actually England if you can call that Europe. I lived in London for 10 years and I won't do that again. Although my husband will be working in London, we will be living as far away as a commute will allow and hopefully in a place with lots of greenery around. I'm OK with not having lots of people around me.

[my 2 cents]

I agree with above.  It's a very personal decision.  I think maybe a good compromise would be to live in a country town/city - somewhere like Cambridge or Winchester.  That way you would have access to culture, decent facilities close by etc.  You could get to the countryside easily and it might be a bit friendlier than a huge city like London or Manchester.  I have no idea really - I've only ever lived in London (apart from here) but I thought if we go back, a smaller city or market town might be better for us.

[similar boat]

we will be moving to uk as well and having mostly lived in singapore with lots of hustble and bustle around, we decided to pick locations somewhere which might have easy access to the city.  Maybe you could do something like this so you could have the best of both worlds.

[Going back too]

It depends on the city I guess.  Living in a city like London, Amsterdam or Paris (for example) is worlds away from living in cities like Cambridge, Bruges or Luxembourg.

Ages of children is a factor too.  Teenagers might love a city, whereas most smaller children would love the country.  Some teens would love the country too, but there would be occasions where they'd want to go to the cinema, bowling and in their older years, the pub, the nightclub etc (and of course the adults enjoy things like this too on occasion). 

As someone else says, it is a very personal choice. 

For me, I think either a small city or large-ish town nearby is a good thing (a decent rail link an advantage), but not necessarily having to live right in the middle of that city or town so long as you are prepared to fork out cash for taxis or spend a lot of your time being a chauffeur for family and friends. 

The trouble is, Singapore is a very easy city in which to live and I don't think a lot of us really appreciate it until the time to move back comes along and for us that time is coming along very soon.  There's a lot I won't miss about Singapore but a lot that I will   

Good luck, whatever you decide.  We've been here 12 years - it's going to be a bit of a weird feeling to know that when we go we'll be gone for good.

[excitygirl]

PP, we have been in Asia for 14 years, 8 of that in Singapore. I think I've overstayed my welcome by a long way. I've had a great time in Asia, but now I feel like Tom Hanks in that movie about when he was stuck in a terminal. We are waiting to hear about a date to move back to the UK. I guess when I hear I'll feel a lot better because I will know that I only have X time to get my last Asia fix and I can make the most of it and enjoy it.

We are looking at towns around south Cambridgeshire and the village and hamlets around these. After living in shoe boxes with a concrete 2mx2m for a garden at a cost of 8K a month it's really amazing to see what kind of house and garden we can get around there. I'm like a kid in a candy shop. One of the places I looked at had a paddock in the back. Shame I am not into horse riding!!! My husband wants to live in the middle of a field and have no neighbours but I think I need  a few around me to feel safer. That said, I've spent the last 14 years here with only a handful of friends (who all left) and aquaintances and whilst it was hard at first, I have grown accustomed to my own company and I am OK with not having lots of friends. Back home I will be an hour away from family, that beats any friends or acquaintances hands down.

I too think that it's going to be a bit weird. I think I am going back a totally different person to the one who left the UK to come here. I think there will be times when I miss the lifestyle here, but I won't miss Singapore.

[hp sauce]

Have you seen Keeping Mum ? Little Wallop, probably only exists in the movies, but thats the England I remember, but alas it's all gone now is my guess. Also there's the threat of urban violence on the way back from the pub which I certainly do not miss. I wonder if Olde England exists anywhere ? Good luck in your search, my mum lives in urchfont near devize s and that's a picture postcard, but the council no longer has any money and the roads and drains don't get fixed and Travellers have taken over a field nearby.

[urban nomad]

Agree with above posters. At the end of the day, it's really up to you (and your family), as to what you prefer.

I am a city girl, and prefer to 'feel' life and pulse around me even if I stay cosy at home. Prefer the sea and beach, to rolling fields of green anyway. I thrive on city vibe, and prefer to know/feel the world isn't dead even if I make the choice to hiberate indoors.

To me, having 'country within 1-2h driving distance for a wkend visit or hike will suffice.  
Also content with a landscaped urban-sanctuary and container-gardening for my peaceful zen downtime ... compared to vast expanses of lonely acreage which is simply depressing to me.

Lived in the suburbs once, and that quietness was dreary enough. Acreage will totally depress.

[To Urban Nomad]

I could have written your post. Every word. I am a city explorer and novice urban design/infrastructure geek, and I live for every adventure, character, and curiosity that's around any given corner. Even at home, digging around in my "apartment garden," I am comforted by the accessibility of the world outside.

The wilds are wonderful for exploring, but at the end of the day/vacation, I love to come home to civilization.