My girl won't talk to adults

[notalk]

My almost five year old girl won't talk to adults. Exept of course her own parents, grandparents or adults she knows extremely well. It has always been like that but since she has to go to school soon it starts to worry me as it could start to affect her more. Ever since she is visiting nursery her teachers tell me how reserved she is towards them. Apart from that she is a happy girl who likes to play with other kids, is sporty, creative and smart. She is not shy to open the conversation towards other kids, she likes to play with kids of all ages. But if an adult speaks to her she won't answer. People who greet her in the lift or on the streets will never be greeted back. If they ask her a question she will just stare on one spot like totally ignoring them. It the teacher in school asks questions she will aswell look down on the floor and say nothing.
I carefully tried to find out what the problem is. She would say: "Mum, I don't know them so well". I tried to reward her and promised her some chocolate treats if she greeted her teacher by saying: "Good morning Miss...." She was happy about that option and eager to try it but the next day when she entered the room she just froze and said nothing again. After I picked her up she said: "Mum I can't do it. I don't dare to."
What would you suggest? Does she need help? How can I help her? Or should i relax and give her more time? Anyone with similar experiences? I d be grateful. Thank you!!!

[shy guy]

I think she'll get over it.  It's not uncommon for a 5 yr old to be shy around adults, maybe a little odd with her own teachers - but you'd think that as she got to know them she'd relax a bit.  Is she fairly new at nursery school?

[kate smith]

start by getting her to ask adults/teacher simple questions each day.
or relate what has happened over the weekend to a teacher.
Remind her in the morning to ask, and when she comes home ask her how it went.

Tell her what to say when asked by a parent. she must answer more than one word using a full sentence and pose a question back.

Find out whether she behaves differently towards adults when you are not there.
She may be scared you will speak for her if you are dominant and embarrass her in front of her friends.

Try putting her for drama classes so she learns how to speak and project her voice. They are many classes available in Singapore.
hope this helps.

[Rach .]

My son, who is now nearly 6, has always been like this.  It's slowly slowly improving.... now if an adult in our condo asks how school was he'll give a very quiet "good" - which is better than before!

I wouldn't worry too much, I'm sure it will come, and I certainly wouldn't try to force it - you might just scare her off.

We did do what a PP said - a bit of bribery... When he arrived at the classroom, if he gave a nice clear 'Good morning Miss X" he'd get a sticker on his sticker chart.  He is now happy to talk to his teachers.

Good luck, and don't let her be aware of your concerns - it will come with time I'm sure!

[Voyager]

My now 7yr old daughter was like this, don't worry about it and think of it as a good thing in not talking to strangers when they are this young. These days she still will not talk to a total stranger but she now warms up to people quick and will be talking with them within hours.

Let time take it's course and enjoy these young years for they grow so fast.

[Not to worry]

Kids tend to be shy around adults they don't know (possibly an evolutionary self-protection mechanism which is not a bad thing).

I guess the problem is complicated by the fact that you are away from your natural environment of grandparents, uncles, old friends of the family etc., so she gets less practice with adults.

As others have said, she will most likely grow out of it but you are right to keep an eye on the situation.