Separation/Divorce under Australia Law

[P.O.D.]

OP, keep the relationship amicable, friendly. Its your child who will suffer it you allow it to become acrimonious.

Easier said than done. One hand alone cannot clap. It just means you get eaten alive while playing fair and above board, if dealing with a vicious party.

Sure, one hand alone cannot clap but it takes two to tango. It takes two parties for a relationship to become acrimonious. Its best not to go there by remembering the child's welfare comes first.

[Torn_In_Between]

Thanks again POD and those of you who do not know me but yet given very valuable and sound advises.

Yes, my baby's welfare is top priority. What has happened between me and the dad should not have any impact on her or at least I hope the impact would be minimum. Visitation from her dad is fine but I hope I will get the custody of the child. Perhaps I am just being selfish but I do not want to lose her.

[Please listen]

OP, I divorced in Singapore and have been through this hellish gauntlet. It is very difficult when you are considering different countries and different laws.

This is what you NEED to get very straight:

- There is absolutely NO assumption that a child will stay with the mother after divorce in Australia. In fact, Australia assumes a joint custody after separation (yes, that is 50/50 in two houses), unless there has been violence. If you divorce in Australia, this is going to become extremely difficult for you. You will have to send your child to Australia for extended trips alone etc because:

- Your husband has rights in Australia that he does not have in Singapore. You have rights in Singapore, under the women's charter, that you do not have in Australia. Your husband clearly knows this and that is why he is pushing you to divorce there.

- Singapore has recently become a signatory to the Hague Convention. This means your child can be returned "home" if your husband pursues it - and he can do that if your child becomes Australian. Do NOT allow him to apply for a passport for your child.

- You are FAR better off walking away from his money, particularly if you don't really need it. It will cost you so much more if you chase it down and end up having to negotiate with the only thing you really have - your child. It is not worth it.

Get a good lawyer, OP. It will be worth every cent. Do not do this in Australia, where you admit you have never lived. You and your child are Singaporean, not Australian. The only person who will gain from that is your husband.

[unclear]

I assume that in this case the parents are married in Singapore, the child is born here and both parents reside in Singapore.
It is not clear if after the separation the father is moving back to Australia, or resides there already.

For the father the reason to file in Australia is in his advantage, as all futher proceedings will take place in Australia.
For example if the father does not pay the alimony, this then has to be contested in Australian Court and will increase the mother's expenses significantly.

Both Singapore and Australia take the same stance when it comes to custody. If there is no compelling reason to grant full custody to one parent, any court will grant joint custody.

The question here is who will be granted the daily care and custody over the child.
This, unless successfully contested and substantiated, is granted to the mother.

The child still can obtain an Australian passport, regardless if the separation has been filed and granted in Singapore. This is a different case alltogether.

If the mother is pursuing daily care and custody, it is in her interest to file for divorce in Singapore Court.
The Court Order and subsequent Decree Nisi can be registered in Australian Court.

The mother can apply to the Court to be the keeper of the child's passport, and trips overseas are to have the approval of both parties.

[Unclear]

With regards to the house, the mother can list this as a marital asset, but it is up to the Court to recognize this as such.

As for the alimony, the heigt of this will be determined by the Court keeping in mind the childs requirements and the standard of living enjoyed by the parents during their marriage.

Separation is usually a clear & cut case. It is in the best interest of both parties to file in the place of convenience and residence. There will be many instances in future where court documents and the Decree Nisi are required (re-marriage, re-application of travel & residence) and both parties need to decide if it really makes sense to file in an overseas court as this will complicate matters.

[Please listen]

Both Singapore and Australia take the same stance when it comes to custody.

This is not correct. In Singapore, "care and control" will usually be awarded to one parent. This is the person the child will live with most of the time. Both parents will still have custodial rights though, but kids usually live primarily in one house. The parent who doesn't live there has to pay child support to the other parent. In Australia, this is based on his income, not the household expenses or lifestyle the child enjoyed during the marriage. Income is very easily hidden, especially if someone owns their own business etc.

In Australia, the assumption is that the "care and control"  (or day to day living arrangements for the child) is shared so the child will live with BOTH parents a significant portion of their time. This is often what fathers push for as they do not have to pay child support in this case.

Also, I forgot to mention earlier, the OP cannot ask for alimony in Australia as it doesn't exist. There is child support only, and as I already said, he can get out of that pretty easily.

[Wrong]

Both Singapore and Australia take the same stance when it comes to custody.

This is not correct. In Singapore, "care and control" will usually be awarded to one parent. This is the person the child will live with most of the time. Both parents will still have custodial rights though, but kids usually live primarily in one house. The parent who doesn't live there has to pay child support to the other parent. In Australia, this is based on his income, not the household expenses or lifestyle the child enjoyed during the marriage. Income is very easily hidden, especially if someone owns their own business etc.

In Australia, the assumption is that the "care and control"  (or day to day living arrangements for the child) is shared so the child will live with BOTH parents a significant portion of their time. This is often what fathers push for as they do not have to pay child support in this case.

Also, I forgot to mention earlier, the OP cannot ask for alimony in Australia as it doesn't exist. There is child support only, and as I already said, he can get out of that pretty easily.

There is alimony in Australia. It's called "spousal maintenance"

[Please listen]

PP, you are not giving the full story.

Spousal maintenance in Australia is only for people who cannot support themselves after the marriage ends, for good reason (such as looking after a disabled child). It is not automatic. Single parents without an income would usually end up having to ask for assistance from centrelink. The OP is obviously not in that situation, so therefore would not be able to ask for spousal maintenance under Australian law.

In Singapore, regardless of her income, her husband is required to contribute to maintaining the standard of living her child and herself currently have. If the OP remarries, her husband no longer is required to pay maintenance for her, but will stilll have to pay for their child.

[knowledge is power]

In Singapore, regardless of her income, her husband is required to contribute to maintaining the standard of living her child and herself currently have. If the OP remarries, her husband no longer is required to pay maintenance for her, but will stilll have to pay for their child.

Yes for the custodial concerns, definitely Singapore. Makes no sense to fight this in Australia.

PP, while you have a very valid point about what her husband will have to contribute under Singapore law, realistically it will be very difficult actually enforcing it when he goes back to Australia.

[intl divorced]

My question is - if you are different characters, why on earth then did you marry in the first place ?  Did you not stop and think about your compatibilty first ?. Did you marry on a whim ? Surely there must have been some warning signs there ?.

As regards the child, you have the child with you, he/she is a singapore citizen and he cannot remove the child from Singapore.

Imposing maintenence on him when he is not even resident here will be almost impossible as the courts here wont be able to enforce any order on him if he is not even a PR here. 

Going to his country to try to do it will be impossible too if you and the child dont even reside there. 

Whatsmore, you are holding the child overseas almost like youve done a cold calculated abduction.

The courts in most western countries give equal rights to fathers no matter who has custody and therefore, the fact you hold the child overseas makes your case a tough one, although there will be plenty of australian lawyers happy to take your money while they lead you on a wild goose chase only to tell you that they cant help you.

Best thing you can do is hang onto your job, prepare for life as a single mother and in future spend time getting to know any potential suitors properly if you can find one.

[youll find]

Thanks again POD and those of you who do not know me but yet given very valuable and sound advises.

Yes, my baby's welfare is top priority. What has happened between me and the dad should not have any impact on her or at least I hope the impact would be minimum. Visitation from her dad is fine but I hope I will get the custody of the child. Perhaps I am just being selfish but I do not want to lose her.

Many mums & dads squabble especially after a child is born and stress levels go up.  Why cant you both work through it and think of the life you are both responsible for creating and start acting like a pair of adults.  The needs of the child come first before yours.

In days of old, no matter what couples were faced with, they just got on with it. 

I have news for you lady, the absence of a father ion the childs life will have a very significant effect on the child.

[the wrong reasons]

This is not correct. In Singapore, "care and control" will usually be awarded to one parent. This is the person the child will live with most of the time. Both parents will still have custodial rights though, but kids usually live primarily in one house.

This makes way more sense, stability wise. You get less basket cases.
Many couple actually thrive quite merrily despite their differences, until a child/children comes along. Suddenly responsibilities and who does what becomes more cut and dried. There's less energy, time and resources to go around.

If one of the reasons for the divorce is an irresponsible other half/parent, you can imagine how the child will suffer if he.she lives in one household which does not enforce homework, forgets to pick them up in school, or does not send children to their activiities because parent would prefer to nap or sleep in. How unfair it would be too, to the other parent who would inadvertently be picking up the duties of the negligent one forgets to do or chooses not to do..

The parent who doesn't live there has to pay child support to the other parent. In Australia, this is based on his income, not the household expenses or lifestyle the child enjoyed during the marriage. Income is very easily hidden, especially if someone owns their own business etc ....
This is often what fathers push for as they do not have to pay child support in this case.

Precisely. How sincere is the father when their primary concern for pushing for joint custody is really a veiled attempt to reduce their share of child support, or not pay child support at all/ It's not about the child, it's about $.
Award joint custody, and the judge is really also putting a punishment-sentence on the more responsible parent who will then have to pick up the pieces.

If couples could work parenting differences out so amicably post-seperation, why would they even be divorced in the first place?

[FFS, grow up]

Thanks again POD and those of you who do not know me but yet given very valuable and sound advises.

Yes, my baby's welfare is top priority. What has happened between me and the dad should not have any impact on her or at least I hope the impact would be minimum. Visitation from her dad is fine but I hope I will get the custody of the child. Perhaps I am just being selfish but I do not want to lose her.

Many mums & dads squabble especially after a child is born and stress levels go up.  Why cant you both work through it and think of the life you are both responsible for creating and start acting like a pair of adults.  The needs of the child come first before yours.

In days of old, no matter what couples were faced with, they just got on with it. 

I have news for you lady, the absence of a father ion the childs life will have a very significant effect on the child.

I have news for you, dude, and that is that people who stay together for the children are doing them FAR more damage than those who divorce and move on in a healthy way. There have been countless studies that prove that parents who stay in bitter, miserable marriages are the ones who end up raising really messed up kids.

In days of old, women didn't work and girls didn't go to school. Should we return to that too, or just the part where you get to pass judgement on people's marriages?

The OP is the one who is going to support and raise the child and you're telling HER to act like an adult?

You need to pull your head out of the sand.

[Please listen]

This is not correct. In Singapore, "care and control" will usually be awarded to one parent. This is the person the child will live with most of the time. Both parents will still have custodial rights though, but kids usually live primarily in one house.

This makes way more sense, stability wise. You get less basket cases.
Many couple actually thrive quite merrily despite their differences, until a child/children comes along. Suddenly responsibilities and who does what becomes more cut and dried. There's less energy, time and resources to go around.

If one of the reasons for the divorce is an irresponsible other half/parent, you can imagine how the child will suffer if he.she lives in one household which does not enforce homework, forgets to pick them up in school, or does not send children to their activiities because parent would prefer to nap or sleep in. How unfair it would be too, to the other parent who would inadvertently be picking up the duties of the negligent one forgets to do or chooses not to do..

The parent who doesn't live there has to pay child support to the other parent. In Australia, this is based on his income, not the household expenses or lifestyle the child enjoyed during the marriage. Income is very easily hidden, especially if someone owns their own business etc ....
This is often what fathers push for as they do not have to pay child support in this case.

Precisely. How sincere is the father when their primary concern for pushing for joint custody is really a veiled attempt to reduce their share of child support, or not pay child support at all/ It's not about the child, it's about $.
Award joint custody, and the judge is really also putting a punishment-sentence on the more responsible parent who will then have to pick up the pieces.

If couples could work parenting differences out so amicably post-seperation, why would they even be divorced in the first place?

I completely and whole-heartedly agree.

Parents who need the family court to divide up their children and parental responsibilities clearly are not able to communicate with each other. Judges often end up thinking the "fairest" way is to divide everything 50/50, which forces two people who are involved in a knock-down-drag-out fight back into a situation where they require ongoing communication, flexibility and reasonable behaviour! Recipe for absolute disaster...

Australia has started moving away from this assumption with high-conflict couples because the children end up really suffering - of course, it isn't fun for the parents either, but hey, the kids should be the priority not "fairness".