Maid and locked doors

[Key Holder]

Yes, I know I'll probably stir up a while lot of unwanted stuff but I'm hoping they'll be some sensible stuff too so here goes

We have recently engaged our 3rd helper in 16 months. The first 1 was a poor match for our family and the second one we had to send back home for a number of reasons. Things seem to be going pretty well this current lady. The first 2  were given keys to their room but having seen the state the room was left in and being the one to clean up after them (the last one made Steptoe look like a domestic goddess) I decided no key should be given to this current lady.

I didn't mention anything about a key and she didn't ask. Obviously her room locks on the inside while she is in there. I have just noticed her locking her room door with a key before going out. I did not give her the key. She has obviously taken it from the key box. I didn't say anything to her at the time.

I don't particularly want her to have a key to be honest. I would rather wait a few months to see how things progress before passing her one.

Am I being unreasonable to ask for the key back?

[matilda may]

I would be cross if the key was taken without my permission. She should have asked for it. Little things like this can stir up problems so be diplomatic on how you handle it

[Chatelaine2]

Have you got a copy of the room key? That's really all you need. It is YOUR house and you are entitled to be able to enter her room whenever you see fit. I would ask her where she got the key from, then inform her that, in future, no keys are to be taken without your permission. Rather cheeky of her, IMHO. Anyway, in the interest of smooth relations, say what you have to say, get the key copied if you don't have a copy and move on. But watch her. She's a smart one and not averse to helping herself. Whether this will translate to dishonesty remains to be seen, but she ain't a shrinking violet. Good luck.

[no imagination?]

Geez...let her have her key. What do you care. You also have one so you can walk in any time you wish.
Anyway, just tell her you would like to inspect her room once in a while. That's all.

[I'd care]

about the fact that she helped herself to the key

[Come on]

Even maids deserve some privacy

[the grizzlies]

you wendys are unreal - is this your big issue for the week?

Get of your ass and do some of the work yourself,

[Pot n Kettle]

The lesser spotted hairybacked troll. Fascinating. Now buzz off.

[And again ...]

I think you know the answer.  The fact that she needs to lock her door means she has something to hide.

Look, she would never ever get away with this if she was working for locals.  Expats are just too soft and boy do they take advantage of it.  The door should not be locked at all unless she is in the room and wants her privacy (e.g. at night).  You have a problem.

Go count your silver.

[Scott Rogers]

you wendys are unreal - is this your big issue for the week?

Get of your ass and do some of the work yourself,

Beautifully put.
Husband's fat expat salary + bored wife with zero perspective = terribly uninteresting reading...
Wendy's...absolute classic.

[working girls]

you wendys are unreal - is this your big issue for the week?

Get of your ass and do some of the work yourself,

Beautifully put.
Husband's fat expat salary + bored wife with zero perspective = terribly uninteresting reading...
Wendy's...absolute classic.

bit narrow minded isn't it?  Some women with maids work you know.

I work, don't have a maid and it's hard work, so I don't blame some women for having them if they're working.

Lighten up, you don't know everyone's situation

[watch out]

Its a fact that expats are known to be pushovers, not assertive and always gullible for a hard luck sob story/quick to get the wallets out etc. 

Get the key back.  Local employers would not let them off with it, neither should you.

Ask her where she got the key from and who gave her permission to take it. 

You dont need to be mean like the locals, but for goodness sake dont let her walk all over you like that.

[Sepii]

YOUR doors are all open I presume, therefore hers should be too - as it locks from the inside then that's all the privacy she needs.  She has the same privacy as you.  You can say that it's an open door policy house, nothing to hide all round and of course door can be locked when she's changing and sleeping. I agree with previous posters you should watch her. 

Another thing I'm all for doing next time is checking the big boxes that get sent back home. After my previous helper left (who we trusted for years) we noticed so many of our things missing - not immediatley but over time, we couldn't believe it! I had given her so much stuff, donated and brand new to send so was flabbergasted that she felt the need to steal. I will be up front and honest and explain why, if she has nothing to hide she won't mind.  I've been here too long and been stung badly.  There are lovely honest girls out there and there are a few bad apples sadly like every job, it's just with this job they come into your house to live and really, do we know them?

[NMS1]

Agree with most of the other posters. I'd be less worried about her taking the key than what this says about her as a person. If you haven't already laid down some clear ground rules with her I would do it asap. It may sound unnecessary but you have a smart one there so you need to make her understand that you are no walkover. A lot of them will push their luck with expats and do things that they would never do in a local family.

Ask her where the key came from and say that you would like it back. Tell her that there is no need for her to lock her door when she is not inside as you respect her privacy and will not go poking around her things.