Hungry Helper

[Mrs Big Pockets]

Our new helper joined us a month ago. When she joined we told her to help herself to anything and she literally has. Be this from food to wrapping paper.

We have had helpers in the past and normally the food they have had is their 3 meals/day. This lady has that plus lots more. She drank 1ltr of milk a day every day last week. Punnets of blueberries are gone in a day, as are 3-4 bananas, and half a pineapple, and she drinks perrier like it comes from the tap. She eats bars of chocolate from the fridge and bags of crisps and nuts like they are going out of fashion.

I feel really mean to say she can't have certain things or that she can only have a certain amount, but while I have been on a serious drive to get my grocery bill down it is increasing massively.

How do you cope with these situations? I don't want to stop buying things because they are items we enjoy but how do I let her know tactfully she's costing me a small fortune.

She really is the smallest of girls, I'm starting to wonder if she has a market stall somewhere or if there are seven other people living in her room.

[Done to death!]

And it's not even Friday 

[I know what day]

it is thanks.

[Original idea]

Say no.

[2 things]

Food allowance. Separate fridges.

[In a name]

The word is 'helper' not 'hindrance'.

If she's a hindrance get rid of her because she's not exactly helping you if she eats all the food in the house is she?

You see you've made a rod for your own back here by telling her she can help herself.  My cousin was born in Africa and all the food was locked away.  Every morning her mum would take out what was needed for that day, measured out if necessary (flour, butter etc) and that's what the cook used (they had a cook as well as other staff)...........that's the kind of things people have to do to be successful with staff I'm afraid - if not, they'll take the p!ss.

It's like the stationary cupboard in an office - if it's not managed everyone helps themselves and takes 4 pens instead of one.  Your kitchen is like that to a maid.

How do you go back from here though?  You'll have to be hard and tell her straight because there's not much else you can do if you want to keep buying the things you like as a family.  She'd never get away with it if she worked for a local family and I'm sure she knows that.

I'd be too soft with a maid too if I had one so I never have - my cousin's family were as tough as old boots with their household 'staff' and I guess you just get like that after years of experience.  If they hadn't taken the steps they did to portion control, they would have ended up feeding half the village. 

[carolvorderman]

It could be a number of things. She may have never had thee "luxuries" before and she is tucking in and/or she may be skimming them to give to her friends or in fact sell them off on a Sunday. I would watch her weight, if she piles it on you know she is eating it herself.

Either way, it has to stop. You do not have to stop her eating the things but point out to her that whilst she is free to have what she wants she has to be mindful of her "share". E.g. if there is 1 packet of Pringles and 5 people in the house, then her share is 1/5. She needs a maths lesson. If there is 1 litre of milk a day, she has 200ml. Tell her you are on a budget.

Welcome to the world of cultural differences. You expect her to be mindful of what she takes and she takes you literally. Help yourself to what you want! The thought sends shivers down my spine!!!

[OP]

Thanks. I will speak to her and explain "sharing" more.  I will also try to talk to her about our budget but to be honest I know I'm gonna struggle here. I feel quite uncomfortable saying that, knowing we are so wealthy by her standards.

We have had helpers in the past and not experienced anything like this. I usually ended up having to tell our first one to eat, she seemed very shy about taking even a slice of bread for breakfast.

Thank you

[FFS]

Stop the nonsense - if there is one iota of truth in your opening post then you are too bloody stupid to have a maid and you deserve all you get.  Bloody grow up.

[To FFS]

My post is the truth.

I'm sure I'm not the first and I certainly won't be the last with this problem. But yes, I struggle more than most in how to deal with it. I am a bit of a pushover, never worked in any management position for that reason. I have problems in telling people what do and constantly worry about hurting their feelings but I am certainly not stupid. 
I have a helper to help me with one of my children who has special needs. If we were living anywhere else I'm not sure I would be able to have my child at home with us full time. I am grateful for having this help and would like to keep her happy which I why I asked for advice on how to deal with the situation tactfully.

[Lady...]

My post is the truth.

I'm sure I'm not the first and I certainly won't be the last with this problem. But yes, I struggle more than most in how to deal with it. I am a bit of a pushover, never worked in any management position for that reason. I have problems in telling people what do and constantly worry about hurting their feelings but I am certainly not stupid. 
I have a helper to help me with one of my children who has special needs. If we were living anywhere else I'm not sure I would be able to have my child at home with us full time. I am grateful for having this help and would like to keep her happy which I why I asked for advice on how to deal with the situation tactfully.

My advice to you: In this day and age, you'd better grow a pair.

[and the reason]

for that would be?

Nothing wrong with being soft. Can think of far worse personality traits to have

[FFS]

If you're too pathetic to deal with your maid, hopefully your husband is less of a wimp.

No way this is for real.

[same here]

Just wanted to say I am having the same problem with our helper over-eating.  I'm sure she has gained at least 50 lbs since joining us.  but, she is an honest person and I trust her completely.  she just eats too much.   

[Sure?]

OP - If your helper is not getting fat from the oversized helpings from your pantry and fridge, is she feeding someone else?  You'll never know if she gave it to other people at your expense.  Just a thought.