This one is from Jay Leno's Tonight Show -September 7, 1999. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. This just tells you how hard it is to be single. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing. It was a ‘day’ trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize
that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be in the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It quickly became apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware ofthe humor,she answered her date’s concerns about “what was taking so long” with a reply that, indeed she was”freezing" her butt off and needed some assistance”. He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical asthe situation was they were also faced with a real problem? Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way toget her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car, but for the remainder of the trip home, there was little conversation and apparently despite their “intimate encounter” the two did not see one another again.
As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands down...or perhaps that should be “pants down”? And you thought your first date was embarrassing... A whole new definition of being “pissed off”?
